


Alternating Currents

by RaeDMagdon



Series: Magnetic Resistance [4]
Category: Law and Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, F/F, Magnetic Resistance, Magnetic Resistance Universe, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-02
Updated: 2012-05-09
Packaged: 2017-10-15 07:48:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 60,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/158652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaeDMagdon/pseuds/RaeDMagdon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnetic Resistance Sequel. Olivia tries to balance her long-distance relationship with Alex, help Abbie woo a gun-shy Serena, rescue a child, and assist a very different Casey Novak than the ADA she once knew. Will she be able to protect her friends?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Spoilers:** SVU through Season-12 (including Trophies) and Magnetic Resistance. Some things, like the season (it's winter, not fall) and the fact that Olivia is living in Alex's apartment instead of 4D, are slightly different than canon.

**Chapter One:**

"You can't go tomorrow, Alex," Olivia protested, fumbling through the items on the crowded shelf that housed their bathroom supplies. Most of them belonged to Alex, but some of Olivia's shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and a cheerful yellow loofah had migrated to the attorney's shower over the past few weeks. "Aha, there it is! Gotcha..." She held up her razor, striking a triumphant pose. The curtain between them was a light tan color, and Olivia suspected that her lover could make out part of her silhouette.

Alex, who was brushing her teeth over the sink while Olivia showered, did not seem impressed. "Enlighten me, Olivia. Why can't I go to the Congo this time?" Over the past few days, the normal reasons that Olivia gave for wanting Alex to stay at home ('I'll miss you', 'you could get hurt', and 'we can't have sex if you're several continents away') had become crazier and crazier. Alex figured it was Olivia's way of trying to prepare for the inevitable.

"Because... you might be pregnant."

There was a muffled gagging sound and Olivia peeked out from behind the shower curtain to make sure that her girlfriend was all right. Alex had choked on a mouthful of toothpaste and was coughing over the sink, gasping for air and trying to regain her composure. _"What_ did you just say?" Alex sputtered, wiping the white foam that covered her lips with the back of her hand and trying to clean her face with water from the sink.

"We didn't use protection."

Alex snorted. "Well then, why aren't _you_ pregnant? Why does it have to be me?"

Olivia ducked her head back behind the shower curtain. "Because I'm the butch one. Duh."

After washing out her mouth (and cleaning part of the mirror that she had sprayed), Alex rinsed her toothbrush and set it beside Olivia's in their toothbrush cup. The domesticity of that simple act made the blonde attorney tear up a little, and she blinked to clear her eyes before unfastening the tie of her robe and letting it fall to the floor around her ankles. "Uh-huh, right. That wasn't what you were saying this morning. _Please, Alex, fuck me harder_ ," she quipped, pulling back the shower curtain to join her lover under the spray even though she had already taken a shower that afternoon. A wet, naked Olivia was too much for her to resist, especially – _especially since I'm leaving tomorrow..._

Forcing those thoughts out of her head, Alex took in the gorgeous sight of her lover, who was bent over as she ran the razor along her right calf. The picture was just too tempting. She grabbed two handfuls of her lover's gorgeous, firm behind, smirking when Olivia squeaked and dropped her razor onto the floor of the shower. "Hey! I could have cut myself!" she complained.

"You big baby," she cooed, not giving Olivia time to straighten up before cupping the exposed folds between her legs. The detective gasped, the task of shaving her legs completely forgotten as clever fingers probed forward, sinking into familiar warmth. Obviously, Alex wanted to play, but Olivia had other ideas.

"Mm-mm," she said, straightening up before Alex made her lose her concentration. "You already had your turn this morning, as you so eloquently reminded me."

Alex would not be deterred so easily. When Olivia's position forced her to remove her hand, she immediately reached for the brunette's slick breasts instead. "I can't have more than one turn?"

"You can have as many turns as you want, Lexie... after I have my turn." Olivia's lips slanted against hers in a rough kiss that caused Alex to forget her course. Eager hands slid over soapy skin, exploring open flesh, lingering at well-learned spots that made the attorney's knees weak.

Sexually, both of them were usually flexible, taking their cues from each other's words and body language. There were times when Alex wanted nothing more than to use her mouth on Olivia for hours. There were times Alex played the seductive tease, turning her lover into a helpless, shuddering mess. There were times when Alex took charge and made Olivia see stars. There were times when they made love tenderly, giving and receiving equally and just enjoying each other's touch.

And then there were times when Alex really just wanted to be taken fast and hard, restrained or pinned in some way so that she couldn't escape as Olivia dominated her.

Those were the signals that the detective was picking up tonight. Alex's eyes were half-closed. She was letting Olivia guide their frantic kisses, only breaking away to let out small, soft cries of pleasure. She kept her hands at her sides, not trying to regain the advantage she had lost, and Olivia wondered if this was what she had been aiming for all along. Well, far be it from her to disappoint.

Olivia's mouth blazed a warm trail down Alex's neck, causing the blonde to tilt her chin up, ignoring the water that sprayed across her face. Meanwhile, her hands traveled down the front of Alex's stomach, stroking her sides and the tops of both thighs. "You are stunning," Olivia murmured into Alex's damp shoulder, brushing aside wet strands of hair to tease the attorney's collarbone with her lips. Alex hummed in response. "Absolutely beautiful. And – all – mine..."

With those possessive words, Olivia's teasing fingers slid between Alex's legs, finding her lover swollen and wanting. "Ah, Liv..." Alex mewled, pumping her hips and trying to find purchase on her lover's hand. Olivia refused to let her, continuing to tease as her other hand squeezed one of Alex's breasts.

Now that she was firmly in control, Olivia flipped her lover face first against the wall, pinning her there with her own weight and nipping at the lobe of her ear. "And you thought you had me in the palm of your hand, didn't you, you little tease?" She punctuated the statement by circling Alex's entrance with her fingertips, coaxing her higher. She felt her lover shuddering against her chest and nuzzled the crook of her neck reassuringly, but didn't stop the verbal or physical assault of Alex's senses. "No one at the DA's office would believe me if I told them that I know just how to make the Ice Queen melt... all over my fingers."

"O-liv-i-a..." Alex dragged out all four syllables of the detective's name, a plea for some kind of relief. Her wish was granted, and she gasped as Olivia claimed her with one swift, upward thrust, her inner muscles shivering wildly at the sudden, welcome intrusion.

"And they would all be so jealous if they had any idea how beautiful you are, how amazing it is to make love to you, how wonderful you feel from the inside..." Alex could feel Olivia sucking at her pulse point as her fingers started a slow, heavy rocking motion that lifted her onto the balls of her feet. Heat blossomed in her lower abdomen, vibrating all the way to her toes.

"Liv... Oh god..." Olivia's fingers left her wanting, halting their rhythm long enough to flick the tip of the hard bundle of nerves that she had purposely neglected. The contact was like completing an electrical circuit and Alex's entire body stiffened, pressing back into Olivia's hips. "Bed, please-"

Realizing that she had tapped into something completely unexpected, Olivia supported Alex's weight against her side as she turned off the shower and helped her out of the tub, wrapping her in a fluffy white towel and pressing tender kisses to her wet hair.

"Damn it, Olivia, I don't –" Alex started to protest. Part of her was hurting and unsettled, and the last thing she wanted right now was Olivia's sympathy. What she really wanted was to forget. She wanted the blissful numbness that came when Olivia drove her mercilessly over the edge.

Shocked that she had so thoroughly turned the tables on her lover, Olivia knew that something was wrong. Alex was veering between submissive and demanding, as though she couldn't decide what she wanted. Olivia resolved to deal with it later. Right now, she was confident that she knew exactly what Alex needed.

Taking Alex's lips in another forceful kiss, she walked her backwards into the master bedroom until Alex's legs hit the side of the mattress. Both of them sank onto the bed, letting the towel fall onto the floor, not caring that they were only half dry and would probably get water all over the sheets.

"Could you – I..."

The detective understood the words that Alex couldn't say. She dropped a soft kiss on her waiting lover's lips, stroking her thighs as she got up from the bed. "Wait here."

For a moment, Alex looked heartbroken and vulnerable in the large bed even though Olivia was only doing what she wanted. Luckily, it only took her a few seconds to find what she was looking for, and less than half a minute to adjust the straps around her waist. They had done this before, but Alex was still somewhat uncomfortable asking for it, and with her emotions running high... Somehow, Olivia wasn't surprised that this was what the attorney needed.

Olivia hesitated at the sight before her – Alex, her body still damp from the shower, skin flushed, eyes soft and so willing. But when she spread her legs, inviting Olivia's touch, outer lips glistening with wetness, she let go of her doubts. For now, she would play Alex's game, but afterwards, they were going to talk.

Hooking one of her lover's legs around her waist, Olivia kissed Alex's chin, curling one hand in golden hair as the other guided the toy to her lover's wetness, murmuring reassurances and endearments instead of the harsh, possessive words she knew Alex probably expected.

Olivia came to a decision. She was going to make Alex lose control tonight. She could tell that the blonde needed it, if the pleading look in those blue eyes and the amount of wetness between them was any indication. She was going to make the lawyer fall apart. Olivia adjusted her position, rising slightly onto her knees between Alex's legs, making her breath catch as she thrust inside of her with one long, smooth motion. Alex's head tipped back, exposing her throat to Olivia's warm kisses as the brunette held her hips still, waiting for her lover to adjust to the fullness, the tightness.

When she felt the stiff muscles of Alex's legs smooth over and settle more firmly around her waist, Olivia pulled out and thrust in again, coaxing a soft sigh of pleasure from the woman beneath her.

Although Alex had not expected this encounter to be tender or gentle, she accepted Olivia's tempo, letting her guide the give and take of their hips, the rhythm of their slow, rocking thrusts, sliding her hands up along Olivia's back and holding on tight. Even though she knew it was impossible, a small part of Alex was afraid that her detective would dissolve into the air and disappear from the circle of her arms.

"Liv, please..." Olivia could hear the thin, strained wire of need in her lover's low voice, but there was something else behind it. Fear. Fear and loneliness. She recognized those emotions. She had heard them in Alex's tone before, but never while they were making love.

Olivia was so wrapped up in her thoughts that the steady rub of the toy's base had less of an effect on her than usual. This put her in a unique position and allowed her to study Alex's movements, the flickering shadows of pleasure and love and worry that bled over onto her face, without distraction. _She really is beautiful... so beautiful. I can't believe this woman is mine. And I can't believe I have to leave her – this – now that I have her..._

The blonde began to chew on the plump curve of her bottom lip, eyelashes lowering until they were just dark smudges over the points of her cheeks, her jaw tensing as her heartbeat began to speed up, and Olivia knew that she was close. "That's it, sweetheart," she whispered, offering the encouragement she knew her lover needed. "I love you. Come for me."

Those words released her instantly. Olivia was prepared for the deep shudder that ripped through Alex's slender body, the cry of pleasure, but the tears that followed surprised and worried her. Instinctively, she knew that she hadn't hurt her. She could guess what was bothering the attorney – probably the same thing that was bothering her.

"I-I'm sorry," Alex said in a weak voice. "I didn't mean for that to happen... on our last night together..."

Olivia knew that she meant the tears, and did what she could to offer comfort, not removing the toy or leaving Alex's arms, which were still clinging to her like a lifeline. "It's not our last night together. We're going to have lots more nights together when you come back. I promise."

"Make me not go," Alex whispered from somewhere beside Olivia's arm.

"Sweetie, you want to go. You need to go." Olivia recognized the truth in this. Alex did want and need to take this job, even though it was only temporary. It had touched part of her that had become cold, re-kindling the spark, empowering her and helping her rediscover her desire to help and protect those in need. But that didn't mean it wasn't going to hurt.

"Come with me."

"I can't leave my job for six months..."

Alex sighed, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the ball of Olivia's shoulder. "I know," she sighed. "It's just... we're finally together now, and I have to leave. I'm afraid..." her voice trailed off. She was unwilling to put her fears into words, afraid of bringing them one step closer to the real world.

"I'll be waiting right here for you when you come back. I'm not going to run off with the first pretty girl I see while you're playing superhero, fighting for truth and justice."

"Promise?"

"I love you. I promise."

No more words were needed as they started moving together again, and this time, Olivia allowed herself to share in Alex's pleasure as both of them memorized the taste, touch, and smell of each other, storing up memories for the lonely period of separation that they knew was coming far too soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

"Don't go," Olivia whispered sadly, clinging to Alex in front of the security line. The blonde tried to unwrap herself from her detective's embrace, but eventually gave up and allowed Olivia to hold her for a few more seconds. She put on a brave face, knowing that it was her turn to offer comfort and support while Olivia was feeling vulnerable.

"I'll miss my flight..."

"Don't care. Stay here. Move in with me. Marry me. Have my children. Just don't go."

Alex laughed. "Ask me those questions again in six months, a year, and when the thought of reproducing doesn't make me hyperventilate. Besides, you're staying at my place while I'm gone and you already bought out your lease, so you can't ask me to move in with you."

The attorney tried once again to extricate herself from Olivia's arms, but she just held on tighter. "No," she said stubbornly. "Living in your apartment without you is going to suck. You have to stay."

"You'll be fine. This way, you can adjust to living in my apartment without me singing in the shower or letting laundry pile up."

That finally coaxed a small smile from Olivia. "I let laundry pile up worse than you, I think it's cute that you sing in the shower, and I don't even mind that you leave towels on the bathroom floor or that your coffeemaker has a million buttons that I can't figure out how to use."

In all honesty, Olivia did miss apartment 4D a little bit, but she knew that she was going to miss Alex a lot more. At least at Alex's place, she would be surrounded by reminders of her absent lover and they could stay together when she came back to visit.

"Liv, I really need to get going," Alex said, frowning as she glanced at the growing line over Olivia's shoulder. "I'm _sooo_ excited to try the new full body scanners they just installed."

"Not everyone goes through them." Reluctantly, Olivia loosened her hold. "I love you," she said as Alex re-gripped the handle of her carryon.

"I love you, too. I'll be back in seven weeks."

The detective sighed. Seven weeks was a long time to go without seeing Alex, but she would have to make do. "If I die from withdrawal, it's your fault, Cabot," she grumbled. As Alex tried to turn and head for the end of the line, Olivia dragged her back for one last, deep kiss that made the attorney drop both her carryon and her purse. Finally, the need to breathe forced them to separate.

"Wow, you're not making this easy," Alex said, still reeling from the pleasant assault.

Olivia grinned as she looked down and noticed one of Alex's legs, clad in stockings and a Prada heel, was tilted up. "You watch too many old timey movies," she said, giving her lover's hip one last squeeze.

"I do." Alex smiled indulgently. "Okay, this time I really have to go... I'll call you when I land. Promise."

With one last soft caress of her cheek, Olivia fought back tears and released Alex to the long security line, giving her a final, melancholy wave and turning around to leave. If she didn't put some space between them, she would follow Alex through the line and bother the security personnel.

Olivia managed to hold back her tears through Parking Lots A and B, but when she hit C, they spilled over her cheeks and chin, forcing her to wipe them away with the back of her hand. "Come on, Benson, get a grip," she mumbled to herself, picking her way carefully through the gray slush spread over the concrete and piled along the edges of the sidewalks, all that remained of New York City's first snowfall of the year. "At least you'll get to talk to her this time..."

Alex's years in witness protection had been awful for Olivia. Even though their feelings remained unspoken, they had developed a certain emotional intimacy – a nebulous connection that was more than friendship but not quite romantic. But now that their connection had been given the chance to grow and blossom into a relationship, Olivia knew exactly what she was losing, and the knowledge stung.

Before she realized it, the detective found herself sitting in the front seat of Alex's Lamborghini, sighing and resting her head on top of the steering wheel as she remembered one of her lover's parting comments during the drive to the airport...

" _Be sure to take care of my baby, okay?"_

" _Christ, Alex, sometimes I think you love that car more than me."_

 _Alex paused to give her a soft kiss at the stoplight. "I could never love anything more than you, even a car as sexy as mine. Even my job."_

The ringing of her cell phone interrupted her thoughts. Even though she knew that it was probably not Alex, she scrambled for the phone anyway and hit the 'Talk' button. "Benson."

"Well, howdy there, stud." Olivia instantly recognized the teasing southern drawl of Abbie Carmichael. She was a little disappointed that it wasn't Alex calling to say that her flight was cancelled, but hearing Abbie's voice was a lot better than receiving a work call from Elliot or the Captain on her day off.

"Hey, Abbie." She hoped that the former ADA did not notice the slight catch in her voice. Her brief shower of tears had dried, but she was still depressed at the prospect of spending seven long, lonely weeks without her lover. "I just dropped Alex off at the airport. I'm pulling out of the parking lot."

Abbie tsked at her. "Should you be talking on your cell phone, then?"

"No, not really. When are you going to get here?"

"I'm at the train station. I'm gonna take the subway to the upper seventies." Despite Olivia's assurances that she would be fine on her own, Alex had invited Abbie to stay in the guest bedroom for a few days and keep the brunette detective company. Olivia had grumbled and sulked, complaining that she did not need someone to look after her (even though she liked spending time with Abbie), until Alex reminded her that Abbie needed excuses to come to New York and spend time with Serena. "Do you think we can invite a guest for dinner?"

"That depends. Are you cooking?"

"You might talk me into rustling up some grub for tonight."

"You got yourself a deal then, Carmichael, because I don't feel like doing anything time consuming today. Do you want to call Serena, or should I?"

"She might take it better from you," Abbie said breezily, but Olivia sensed the undercurrent of worry in her voice. Even though she and Serena were now on speaking terms, the dark-haired Texan wanted their relationship to progress further. At times, Serena seemed interested, but Abbie had hurt her very badly in the past and she was wary about giving her a second chance.

Olivia tapped on the gas to glide into the lanes of traffic leaving JFK International Airport. "Couldn't have been LaGuardia," she sighed, drumming the fingers of her free hand on the steering wheels impatiently.

"What?"

"Oh. Sorry, Abbie. Sure. I don't really feel like company right now, but that will probably change once you get here."

"Good. Since you can't spend all of your time sexing up Cabot anymore, I'm recruiting you for matchmaking duty. Just because you won't be getting laid doesn't mean I can't. God, I think I'm gonna die."

The detective grinned to herself even though Abbie couldn't see. "How long has it been now? I thought you were supposed to be the last of the red hot lovers or something like that."

"Six weeks, two days, and seventeen hours," Abbie recited.

"Well, congratulations, Tex... I think?"

"Well, you'd better hope Serena is susceptible to a little courtship, or you might have to clean up the mess when I explode."

Pausing, Olivia said, "Abbie, I don't think Serena will be ready for that step for a while... you hurt her pretty badly. Falling back into bed together hasn't worked out well for you two in the past."

Abbie sighed. "I know. I was planning on taking it slow. I'd just like some kind of positive sign so I know I'm not tilting at windmills."

The expression reminded Olivia of something Alex would say, not Abbie, and for a moment, the loneliness resurfaced, a sharp, bitter pain in her chest. She forced it down, knowing that she would have to get used to being on her own for the next few months. "I should hang up. It'd look bad if a cop got pulled over for breaking traffic laws. Listen, ring Serena and invite her over for dinner once you get to the apartment. If you're serious about this whole courtship thing, you should be the one to call. I'll meet you at home."

"Sounds good, sugar. But just a warning, Benson, I usually cook naked." Olivia let out a loud groan before hanging up the phone, shaking her head in disbelief and running a hand through her hair. That was a thought she really didn't need in her head.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

"Holy shit, Abbie, who is going to eat all that?"

Abbie frowned, looking at the table covered with food. There were barbequed steaks cooked just enough so that they no longer mooed, sweet potato biscuits with chorizo cream gravy, grilled vegetables, chili con carne, and tortilla chips and hot sauce. A pot of Texan-style gumbo was still simmering on the stove.

"I don't even think those dishes go together."

The dark-haired attorney smiled sheepishly, suddenly realizing the amount of extravagance she had taken in preparing dinner. "Well, I wasn't sure what Serena wanted, so I just made..."

"Everything?"

"Well, she might have wanted Barbeque, but then I thought, what about Tex-Mex? And then I wondered if I should just make my mother's Gumbo instead..."

Olivia's stomach gurgled and she sucked on her teeth, swallowing the extra saliva that had gathered in her mouth. Whether they went together or not, all of the plates on Alex's counter looked delicious. Eyeing the steaks, Olivia could not help asking, "do I want to know how you barbequed these in Alex's apartment?" While her lover was certainly an excellent cook, she tended to prepare Mediterranean dishes most of the time, particularly Italian and Greek. Her kitchen reflected this. As far as Olivia knew, Alex didn't have an indoor grill.

Abbie snorted, lifting the lid on the gumbo pot to check its contents. Wafting some of the aroma towards her nose, she inhaled deeply before dipping in a spoon for a taste test. "Here, try this," she said, popping it into Olivia's mouth.

"Mmm. Thassgud," the detective mumbled around the spoon. While Abbie left the gumbo to fuss over her chili, she reached for one of the hot biscuits. Before her fingers made contact, the spoon that had been in her mouth rapped across her knuckles.

"Not yet! Oh, and to answer your question, I went over to Elliot's. Thank God for that man, he's a Saint."

"You seriously drove all the way over to Stabler's house in Queens to barbeque those steaks? How did you keep them warm? I'm sure you could have found an indoor grill somewhere a lot closer..."

Abbie shook her head stubbornly. "You're talkin' blasphemy there, Benson. My folks would disown me. And as for the steaks, a magician never reveals her secrets."

Staring longingly at the spread of food, Olivia only tore her eyes away to give Abbie a pleading look. "Did you call Serena? When is she going to get here? Maybe you should call her again..."

The federal prosecutor smiled at Olivia's impatience. She was like a kid on Christmas morning before the presents were unwrapped. Abbie congratulated herself on successfully distracting the detective from her missing mate. Both of their cell phones rang at the same time, and the two women jumped, sharing a surprised, nervous laugh. "Serena," Abbie mouthed, checking the display on her phone while Olivia answered hers.

"Hi, sweetie," Olivia said into the phone, her face lighting up. "You landed safe? ... You're where? Oh, but that means... tomorrow? Okay. What time is it there? Really? You have a hotel, right?"

Meanwhile, Abbie was holding her own conversation, phone tucked against her shoulder. Fortunately, she was used to taking calls while ignoring surrounding distractions. "Well howdy. Naw, she's already here. Yep, I'll tell her. She's dyin' for you to get here so she can stuff her face. Sure. Yep, I'll buzz you up. Make sure the front desk and security know you're not a burglar. I tried sneakin' in here once, and boy, was that a mistake – not like breakin' in to Benson's old place, that's for sure –"

A minute later, with a slightly melancholy "I love you" from Olivia and a "C'mon up" from Abbie, both of them ended their calls.

"Cabot's back on _terra firma?_ " Abbie inquired, shoving the basket of sweet potato biscuits into Olivia's arms and giving her a helpful push towards the dining room. Alex's apartment was large enough that – yes – there was a separate room for dining. Olivia preferred eating at the counter in the kitchen. It felt less pretentious.

"Uh-huh," Olivia called out from the next room while Abbie hurried in with the steaks, only pausing to drop them off in the center of the table before running back for the chili.

"She landed safe and sound two borders away." Generally, flights directly into an area of conflict like the Congo were restricted, and although Alex's job clearly merited it, she had decided to take an easier, slightly safer route.

Seeing the almost frantic anticipation that Abbie was doing her best to hide, Olivia helped her grab some of Alex's plates and silverware before the Texan recruited her to transport the grilled vegetables. "Well, Serena's ETA is..."

"Right now," said a familiar voice from the entryway.

Realizing that their conversation had carried and been overheard, Abbie blushed even though they had not said anything incriminating. "How'd you get in? Only reason they let me come up here was because Alex informed them ahead of time."

"Charm and nice legs," Serena told them, wandering in to the kitchen before finally entering the dining room. "Oh my... that's a lot of food. Who else is coming, Abbie?"

"No one. Uh, Abbie went a little overboard."

"I think overboard is an understatement, Olivia. And hello, by the way." Among the four, Serena and Olivia were the least acquainted, but they had gotten to know each other a lot better since Olivia and Alex had started seeing each other. Aside from Abbie, Serena was one of Alex's best friends, and she and Abbie also shared a peculiar connection that neither of them could really define. _Not yet, anyway,_ Olivia told herself, pushing lonely thoughts of Alex out of her mind. Maybe playing matchmaker would be fun.

Abbie, who was doing an admirable job of hiding her nervousness now that Serena was actually here, urged both of them to sit down at the table and practically shoved food at them. "Eat and relax while I get us some drinks, or my mother would find out, fly up here, and tan my hide for not being a proper hostess."

An hour later, all three women were slouched back in their chairs, pants undone, with content smiles on their faces. "I'm gonna have enough leftovers to feed all of us for a week," Olivia said dreamily, staring at the large amount of food that was still on the table.

"That was the plan, Benson. Alex told me you're helpless in the kitchen."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "She was yanking your chain. I _can_ cook, I just prefer not to, and my repertoire isn't as... varied as hers."

"She even has you using big words now," Serena cooed. "How cute! You two are perfect for each other."

Olivia felt her face grow warm. "Yeah, well, one interesting thing I can make is boiled cabbage."

Abbie raised her eyebrows. "Boiled cabbage? Why would you ever want to make that? Oh, never mind – I still remember the days when Alex couldn't cook to save her life. I had to feed her all the time."

A strange question floated through Olivia's mind. "Then why hasn't she ever learned how to cook Texan style food?"

Serena grinned. "Because Abbie doesn't share her recipes. With _anybody._ Ever."

"Especially the gumbo. My grandmama's cookbook is the only place where the Carmichael recipes are written down, and that thing's guarded like the Hope Diamond!"

That drew light laughter from Serena, and Abbie looked pleased with herself. "The only way to gain access to it is to marry into the family or be born into it, and even then, you gotta prove yourself first." She did not intend to give Serena a meaningful look, but their eyes met over the table and there was a heavy pause. Olivia had no idea what they were imagining: Serena as a part of Abbie's family, Abbie's own need to prove herself, or even past sexual encounters – and she did not want to know the private details.

Clearing her throat so that she would not startle the other two women, she rose from her chair and sidled towards the kitchen. "Let me just grab the Pecan pie out of the oven," she said, disappearing right on cue.

"Thanks for having me over, Abbie," Serena said, groping for words. "It's... nice. And the food's delicious, of course."

Abbie smiled. "I'm glad we're talking again, Ser. I missed you after..." After they had split up. After all the brief, usually angry encounters they had shared in the years that followed. "Listen, making sure Olivia doesn't go all mopey isn't the only reason I'm staying in Manhattan–"

"–I know."

"But I don't want you to think I'm here to... well... repeat history."

Serena pressed her foot against Abbie's underneath the table. "Abigail Carmichael, are you asking for permission to court me?"

"I'd have to ask your Daddy first," she quipped, but then she became more serious. "You have no reason to believe me, but if we decide that we have something here, things will be different this time."

The blonde lawyer sighed, but reached across the table, allowing her thumb to graze Abbie's knuckles. "I can't just jump in to some kind of relationship with you, Abbie."

"No! I mean... I – I'd like that, but maybe we could take some time first to, um... so I can..."

"You really are asking to court me, aren't you?"

"Well, I've never done it before. Maybe Benson can give me some tips, once she stops listening from the doorway to see when she can come back in."

Olivia had a big grin on her face when she walked back into the dining room with the pie. "Sorry, Abbie. I did try not to eavesdrop. Not sure I can give you that many tips. I'm not a huge relationship person either, and Alex did most of the courting."

Serena laughed. "Why does that not surprise me? Bossy little minx."

 _That's my Alex,_ Olivia thought. "You'd think fancy restaurants and flowers would seem dried up and meaningless in this day and age, but they make you feel a little bit special. But you know what? My favorite thing is probably curling up with her, some Ben and Jerry's, and an old movie."

"Aw, you're a real softie, Benson," Abbie said. She was pleased with her progress, but unwilling to embarrass herself any further. "Now, gimme a slice of that pie."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:**

Alex sighed, staring at the glowing screen of her cell phone and wondering if it was too late to call Olivia. It was a little after six in the morning local time, but still almost midnight back in New York City. Although the time difference was smaller than she had expected, it was enough to throw her off. The room provided for her by the task force was not five-star by any means, but it was more than adequate. The temperature outside was relatively warm, around 75 degrees, but rain fell from the sky in long, shimmering ribbons, battering buildings, animals, and people alike, tossing up mud and drumming against the window-glass.

Deciding that it really wasn't that late, she pressed number two on her speed dial, number one being voicemail. At various times in her life, Elizabeth Donnelly, Arthur Branch, and Jack McCoy had occupied that space. Her erstwhile ex-fiancée, Robert, who also happened to be the second biggest mistake of her life (the first was not confessing her feelings to Olivia years earlier), never moved up past number five. Work and Abbie had always preceded him. Although Olivia had been on her speed dial for years, having the detective in the first available slot made Alex happy. It was a nice reminder that someone loved her – someone who mattered more than her job.

 _I bet she doesn't feel that way right now, poor thing,_ Alex thought as she listened to the phone ring. Fortunately, the city of Bunia had cell phone reception. Olivia had been very relieved when she heard that Alex would be staying in an actual city instead of a tent in the middle of a torn battlefield. The attorney knew that she would be visiting some broken places during her trip, hopefully under guard, but her job was dealing with broken people and helping to put their tormenters in prison.

Her soft, tired smile grew wider and stretched her cheeks when she heard the soft 'click' of the phone being picked up. "Hey, gorgeous," a low, familiar voice purred. "Wanna have phone sex?"

The smile disappeared. "Abigail Carmichael, I will _not_ have phone sex with you," Alex said primly, crossing her ankles at the foot of the bed and propping her shoulders against the headboard. "Give the phone to Olivia, please."

"She's... busy." There was a muffled thump in the background and some shouting.

Abbie let out a squawk of what sounded like pain as a new voice panted against the receiver. "Hel-lo... Lex..."

"Hi, Olivia. Did you get the phone away from Abbie?"

"Yeah." Olivia sounded pleased with herself, but out of breath. "Hold on..." More muffled yelling and a few loud thuds. Alex thought she could hear Abbie shouting something about revenge, or maybe just another of her infamous sexual innuendos, but she couldn't be sure. "Sorry. Hi!"

"Sounds like you won the battle," Alex teased. "You escaped?"

" _Abbie_ escaped," Olivia corrected her, "before I whooped her ass." Alex was grateful that her friend had come to keep Olivia company during her first few days alone.

"Go easy on her. She's on her period."

"Ew, how do you even know that?"

Alex shrugged. "Because Carmichael bitches about everything and I've known her way too long. That's why we could never date. It would be incest. We're practically sisters."

"I thought you could never date her because you're madly in love with me," Olivia pouted.

"That, too."

"So, did you land in the Boonies or wherever it is they have you set up?"

"Bunia, not the Boonies. Why I had to come in the rainy season, I don't know... at least court is indoors. I just have to dig a tunnel from there to my building so that I won't get wet going down." Olivia stifled a laugh, which made Alex roll her eyes. "Ugh, you are such a child."

"Hey, I have to work with three guys all day. They've corrupted me. Yesterday, I had to explain to Odafin that, yes, girls _do_ notice when you stare at their boobs, even if it's only a quick look. We're not stupid."

"Tell that to some of the judges I've worked with. Although..." she paused, considering, "I guess I'm guilty of the same crime."

"Crime?" Alex heard the eye-roll in Olivia's voice even though she couldn't see it. "If we locked people up for staring at women's boobs, the entire population would be in prison. Even straight women look for comparison. If you're particularly gifted, it weirds you out when people _don't_ stare."

The attorney sighed, mostly because imagining Olivia's breasts made her miss the rest of the package. "The only thing I have to complain about is that I can't steal your bras if I don't feel like doing laundry. They don't fit."

"Pfft, my underwear isn't enough for you?"

"Your underwear is comfortable." Alex neglected to mention that she had purloined a few pairs to take with her to the DRC. She had also taken some of Olivia's body wash, her spare jacket, and several other random items.

"I wish you were here to steal them," Olivia admitted, sounding so lonely that Alex wanted to swim across the ocean and give her a hug. "Even with Abbie here, living in your apartment without you sucks. Living without you sucks, period."

Alex tried to ignore the burn of guilt. "I know..." The farther away she was from Olivia, the harder it was to remember the reasons she needed to stay away. But those reasons were still there.

"Listen, Alex, I miss you like crazy, but that doesn't mean I don't support what you're doing. Do you know how incredibly proud it makes me when I get to tell everyone what my awesome girlfriend does for her job?"

"Yeah, I do, because I feel the same way when I tell people about you."

"I love you, Lex."

"I love you, too, Olivia..."

There was a long but comfortable pause. "So, what are you wearing?"

Alex choked on her laughter. "Olivia Benson, are you trying to coax me in to phone sex? If you are, you need practice and a more original opening line."

Olivia chuckled. "Oh ye of little faith. Sometime in the near future, I will treat you to the best damn phone sex you have ever had in your entire life."

"I've never had phone sex before," Alex offered casually.

The detective's jaw dropped. "You've never had phone sex?"

" _Non._ _Allons-nous faire l'amour sur le sofa ou le lit?_ "

"Neither one, uh... Abbie's still here, um – the couch is occupied and even if I went to the bedroom it would still be incredibly awkward."

Slightly disappointed and slightly relieved, Alex decided to let Olivia off the hook. "Another time, then. Actually, French is the official language of the DRC, so I'll have ample opportunity to practice more than just my bedroom phrases."

"As long as you don't forget the –important– parts of the language."

" _Me muero de ganas, mami,"_ a voice chimed in from Olivia's end.

"¡Muérdame, puta!" Olivia responded, slightly amused, but mostly exasperated.

"What?"

"Not you, Alex. We've got a comedian over here."

"Oy vey," Alex groaned. "I don't even know what language we're speaking anymore. You and Carmichael can duke it out." Olivia was about to protest when she glanced at the clock and realized that, even though it was only midnight in New York, Alex needed to start her day. Olivia had checked the time difference several times on her cell phone and computer in order to remember.

"Okay, sweetheart... call me around dinnertime if you can. I'll probably be on my lunch break. I'd love to hear your voice."

Alex frowned. "Oh, honey, I forgot that you go back to work tomorrow. Um, today... you know what I mean. I should let you go..."

"It's fine. Have a good day, okay? And keep a smile on. It makes you look beautiful."

Back in New York, after the two women said their reluctant goodbyes, Olivia dropped her phone with a sharp cry as Abbie, who had been standing behind her, placed a sharp nip on the side of her throat. "Ow! Hey, what was that for?"

"You told me to bite you," she said, the picture of innocence. Her hands were clasped at the small of her back and she was grinning wickedly.

"Not literally." Olivia rubbed at the sore spot on her neck. Unexpected hickeys from Carmichael were not nearly as fun as hickeys acquired during intimate time with Alex. "You know Alex would kill you if she saw this, right?"

"Proooobably," Abbie sing-songed, retrieving the discarded phone from the floor and snapping a quick picture.

"Abbie! Give me that right now or I _will_ kill you. Alex isn't here to protect you."

Abbie held the phone behind her back and prepared to make a run for it. "Protect me? Hell, Benson, she'd probably help you."

"Most likely," Olivia agreed before lunging for the phone. She didn't even realize that Abbie had successfully distracted her from the empty chasm of loneliness that usually opened in her chest after she and Alex said goodbye.

...

In case you were wondering, the translations are (approximately) "No. Do you want to do it on the couch or the sofa?", "I'm dying of horniness, mami" (sarcastically), and "bite me, whore".

...


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five:**

The moment that Alex saw Olivia's face on her computer, she knew that something was wrong. "Oh, honey, are you okay?" Instinctively, she reached out to smooth the tired wrinkles from Olivia's face, but her fingertips could only graze the screen of her laptop.

Olivia sighed. "Relatively speaking. I have had the craziest two days... and you might have missed one of the most embarrassing moments of my life."

That made Alex raise her eyebrows. Olivia was not prone to exaggeration. "Embarrassing? What did Abbie do now?"

Olivia rubbed absentmindedly at her neck. "Um, Abbie is actually out on a date with Serena. She might have dropped your name to get in to _Per Se_..."

"Good luck with that. Serena isn't impressed with all the trappings of a wealthy lifestyle," Alex said, more concerned with why Olivia looked so strange. "Tell me what happened, lover."

The endearment drew a smile from the exhausted looking detective. "Mushrooms," she sighed.

"What?"

"Um, well, this new case we're working, a woman was killed with toxic South American mushrooms. I was stupid enough to open a boiling pot in his lab, inhaled, and started having hallucinations."

Alex choked on air, swallowing to try and ease her sudden coughing fit. "You _what?_ Are you telling me you got high on shrooms?"

"Kind of?" Olivia gave Alex a sheepish little shrug. "I might have asked our perp why he stabbed the captain with a pickle."

"Abbie would want to know whose pickle, but I'll just say that you should eat less vegetables and that Cragen should watch his back."

"Elliot tells me that I was asking for you in my delirious state."

The attorney blushed. "Really? You must miss me then."

"Like crazy. Then again, I don't trust anything Elliot says anymore. He faked being high like me to interrupt an arraignment hearing." That was even more surprising to Alex than the thought of Olivia mistakenly inhaling mushrooms.

"Elliot Stabler? Our Elliot Stabler? Please tell me you told Kathy."

Olivia winked. "Of course I told Kathy. Speaking of Kathy Stabler, she asked me to invite you over for a game of bridge when you come home... if you're not too busy during your time back in New York." Secretly, Olivia knew that Kathy was thrilled that she was seeing another woman. Not only did it mean Olivia was happy – which made Elliot happy – it confirmed that she was not trying to steal her husband. Love could be a jealous animal.

"Well, I have a strenuous lovemaking schedule planned for us, but I think we can find some time. Tell her that I accept on behalf of us both. It will be nice to spend some time with the Stablers."

"If our temporary ADA doesn't kill Elliot first," Olivia muttered.

"What was that?"

Olivia's sigh was both visible and audible through Alex's computer. "Vonn, a skirt from Chicago. Thinks she has what it takes to play in New York. More boobs than brains if you ask my opinion, but I've misjudged our ADAs before." She gave Alex a tender smile.

"You thought that about me?" Alex asked, keeping her voice coy.

"No... I thought you were a royal, stuck-up bitch. Which was partially true, but I didn't see the rest of the picture... which is how wonderful and amazing you are."

"Damn right."

"I really miss working with you, Alex. Vonn had a showdown with El, but he wasn't fazed at all. She didn't even come close to your level of intimidation."

Alex laughed. "Well, I do have intimidating detectives down to an art form. I listed it under the 'other specialized skills' section on my résumé. Which judge did you draw for the case of the Deadly Shrooms?"

"Miranski. Vonn messed that up, too. Made a few disparaging comments about plants–"

The lawyer groaned. "She didn't! Everyone knows about his prized roses..."

"Well, everyone but Vonn. She also keeps talking about her sun-drenched loft in Chicago. Apparently, she wants to sell the place."

"Don't judge to prematurely, Olivia. She might do something to change your mind."

The detective shrugged. "Anyway, we're still working on the case... I'm just not going to sleep for the next couple of days so I can still find time to talk to you."

Alex shook her head, taking off her glasses and folding them in one hand, directing the full intensity of her gaze at the woman listening half a world away. "Olivia, if you ever need to get some sleep, just say the word and I'll let you go. I want you to be safe when you do your job."

"It's okay. I can't sleep without you anyway."

Olivia almost seemed like she was pouting, and it nearly broke Alex's heart. At the same time, she was grateful that Olivia was willing to show her vulnerable side. She knew that it was difficult for her. "I promise I'll be there soon."

"I know you will. And until then, I'll be okay." Now, Olivia thought, she just had to believe her own words. Somewhere in the background, her cell phone rang. For a moment, she was tempted to ignore it, but Alex waved a hand.

"Go, Liv. It might be important. I'll talk to you soon, okay? And I'll tell you all about my day tomorrow." Before Olivia could protest – which Alex knew she would – the attorney clicked out of the window without a long goodbye, staring at the empty screen for several minutes afterwards.

Back in New York, Olivia picked up her phone. "Benson. What – really?" With the phone still tucked to one shoulder, she grabbed her coat from where it was draped over the back of Alex's couch. "No, okay, I'm heading out."

...

"Come on, let's get ice cream!"

Abbie nearly jumped out of her skin as Serena's soft hand made contact with hers. "W-what?" she stuttered, surprised by the unexpected touch.

The smaller blonde woman shot her a mischievous grin. "What, do you have a hearing problem, Carmichael? Ice cream. I want some."

"But dinner..."

"Dinner was very nice," Serena said, not letting go of the federal prosecutor's hand. "And now I want to spoil it with two scoops of double mint chocolate chip. I figure you could go for some rocky road."

"You didn't forget," Abbie said softly, surprised and a little touched that Serena remembered little details about her, like her favorite flavor of ice cream, after so many ears.

Serena was equally surprised and touched by this glimpse of a softer, almost timid side of Abbie's personality. She was scared of screwing up, and if she was scared, she obviously cared. The dark-haired Texan was clutching her hand a little too tightly, but she didn't mind. "C'mon. There's a place a few blocks away. I think the paycheck you get from Uncle Sam can finance two cones, right?"

"You betcha, little lady," Abbie said, trying to get a hold of herself. "Ice cream it is."

Ten minutes later, they were squeezed into the same side of an old-style ice cream parlor booth, digging in to separate ice cream cones and people watching through the window. "Damn, I miss New York," Abbie said as two guys with enormous, brightly-dyed mohawks passed by. "Washington has its fair share of crazies, but it just isn't the same."

Serena glanced at her over the top of her double mint chocolate chip. "Do you miss New York, or the people in it?"

"Both. Not those two losers, though, but Alex and Olivia and... and especially you."

Dipping her finger in Serena's ice cream, Abbie smeared a white line over the tip of her nose, laughing when Serena started going crosseyed while trying to see the damage. "Abbie!" she scolded, reaching for a napkin to wipe the ice cream away.

Abbie stopped her. "Here, I put it there, I'll get rid of it."

Serena sighed as Abbie wiped her nose clean. The tall, lanky Texan was being incredibly sweet, but overcoming their past would take a lot of time. There was trust that needed to be rebuilt. "Abbie, what do you want from me? What are you asking for? Because I need to know if it's something I can give..."

In that moment, Abbie was faced with a choice. She could take it easy, give Serena time to get more comfortable with the idea of entering some sort of relationship, or she could take a chance and tell the truth, even though it might scare the ACLU lawyer away for good.

 _Well,_ Abbie thought, _I've always been a gambling sort of woman._

"Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither are relationships. And I know I've done a pretty damn good job of demolishing the thing we had... but even though I have my stupid moments–"

"–Monumentally stupid moments–"

"Stop interruptin' me, woman. As I was saying, I've got a fast learning curve, and if you're willing to be my teacher, I'm willing to try and learn how to give this whole relationship a real shot." Noticing the serious expression on Serena's face, she was tempted to add a crack about their ticking biological clocks, but decided against it. She wanted Serena to know that she meant what she was saying.

"Alex and Olivia seem really happy, don't they?"

Completely confused by the change of subject, Abbie nonetheless had to agree. "Yep, love looks good on them. Olivia's been a wreck the past week, but I think she'll hold it together. Time will help." She knew that the detective was already counting down the weeks until Alex could come back for a visit. One down, six to go.

"Honestly, watching Cabot get up off her ass and chase the impossible dream was kind of inspiring. I figured if she could star in her own romantic drama, maybe I should give mine another try... My heart's already pretty banged up."

Serena leaned closer to Abbie's shoulder, stealing a lick of her Rocky Road. "Like a well-loved pick-up truck?"

Abbie let her head fall back against the seat of their booth with a soft 'thud'. "You don't have to try so hard, Serena. I like you as a Yankee just fine." Noticing that some of her ice cream was gone, she leaned in to take a lick of Serena's, but was stopped by a pair of soft pink lips. For a moment, her eyes got really wide, and then closed in automatic reflex as she allowed the soft first kiss to linger.

Two flavors of ice cream, and Serena tasted better than both of them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part Two**

 _Preface: **clomle44 wrote the first part of this chapter** except for the tag on the end. I LOVES HER._

 **Chapter Six:**

Abbie lay back in her seat, hands on Serena's hips, and tried not to cry out in frustration. She had no idea how they'd ended up here, but here they were, and it was excruciatingly tempting. One goodnight kiss had turned into two, which had turned into four, until the blonde was straddling her lap, their mouths fused together.

She nearly couldn't handle it. She had promised herself they would go slow. This, though, was heading fast in the other direction. The brunette's hands found soft skin, scraping between Serena's jean skirt and linen blouse. She felt goosebumps under her fingertips, glad she wasn't the only one aroused beyond belief.

"Abbie," the blonde gasped, her head tipping back, leaving a perfect column of throat for the brunette to tip forward and kiss. She stroked with her tongue, holding back from biting down, marking, and claiming. Too much further and she was going to take the blonde right here, right now, in the car park below the other lawyer's building.

"Serena..." she panted back, breath hot against the silky, soft skin of the blonde's neck. "Oh ... damn..."

She shifted, trying to get some purchase on the situation, find something to hold on to that wasn't pure sex. What she'd done though, was cause her knee to thrust up between exquisite legs, jean skirt riding up, making the blonde buck, a strangled cry coming from Serena. It had been so long since Abbie had heard that voice, that throaty sound of arousal, that she couldn't help echo it. She wanted to wait, she didn't want to fuck the blonde in a car. As Alex might say: Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

But Serena was pushing her hips, wet cotton underwear sliding along Abbie's jeaned thigh, hips bucking, helped by Abbie's hands which were now firmly on the blonde's hips. It took moments, just white hot, breathy, unbelievably erotic moments, for Serena to use one hand to grab the brunette's shoulder, the other the back of the chair, and to come, shuddering into the brunette below her.

"Fuck."

Simultaneously both lawyers let the epithet slide out, Serena's breathy and high pitched, Abbie's lower, more of a growl.

"Abbie..."

"Fuck," the brunette said again. This didn't count as sex right? She'd barely touched Serena. Surely she could just count this as a very hot make-out session and keep going with her promise of slow and perfect.

Until the blonde leaned forward, moaning, whispering in Abbie's ear: "I want you inside me."

The blonde was tense, clearly her orgasm having only pushed her further into need, further into want.

Oh god. How was she supposed to resist now?"

"Baby... no... we're ... I promised we'd wait."

She felt the blonde collapse against her, and shuddered a little, very aware of her own arousal. "What?" Serena asked, still dazed. "When?"

"Myself – I promised myself we'd... wait..."

Serena opened her mouth to protest. "But–"

"Believe me, having sex with you is always fantastic, but... I don't want to just have sex with you this time. I want–"

"– to make love?"

Abbie nodded shyly, burying her face in the crook of Serena's neck, her breath still coming hard and fast. "And so I think we should wait."

That was the moment that Serena believed, truly believed, that Abbie Carmichael might really love her. The Don Juan of the DA's office, the womanizer of Police Plaza, was actually turning down sex with her. For her. It was also the moment that Abbie realized she was going to have a very uncomfortable night. Alone.

...

The morning was difficult for Olivia and Abbie – but for different reasons. The detective was wrapped up in a case involving a woman who had been dumped in an oversized hospital laundry cart. The victim, Samantha, had been an environmental activist, but so far, they didn't have any leads. Meanwhile, Abbie was trying desperately to ignore the sexual energy that had suddenly returned to her body. She had always possessed a high libido, but Serena was a catalyst, making her desires much stronger.

"Well, you look about a s pleasant as the back end of a horse," Abbie said with false cheerfulness as Olivia practically collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table the next morning, her hair sticking up in various directions. Perhaps she was channeling Alex, because it was pulled into a messy sort of bun.

"Mrr. Coffee," said zombie-Olivia. Despite her unpredictable hours, she disliked waking up from deep sleeps. Not having Alex beside her to kiss her into consciousness only made the situation worse. After a sip of her coffee, she rasped out a rejoinder. "You look like a grenade waiting to explode."

Abbie sighed. "The date went well last night. Too well. I'm seeing Serena again today," she admitted.

"Struck out at home? They have sports besides football down in the South, right?"

"Football ain't a sport, it's a religion."

"Ain't isn't a word," Olivia corrected, thinking of Alex.

Abbie read her mind. "Stop channeling Cabot. Three-base hit, no home run, I decided to play it safe. I figure the best way to show her I'm serious is to _not_ show her."

Olivia felt some pity for her friend, but decided she didn't deserve to receive sympathy. This would be good payback for her poor treatment of Serena in the past. "Alex and I had an ongoing sexual tension war for a decade, with a few pauses over the years. You can't handle a few measly months."

"You and Alex are better at controlling your emotions than I am."

That put a small, secretive smile on Olivia's face. Despite the cold, distant persona she displayed to the world, Olivia knew exactly how to tap in to Alex's emotional side and make her lose control completely...

"Stop thinking about sex, I'm tryin' to have a conversation here," Abbie said, sounding only slightly annoyed (mostly because Olivia was thinking about sex and she wouldn't be having any for a long time to come).

"Sorry," said Olivia, who was not sorry at all. After all, fantasies were all she had to go on these days. "So, what do you say we two sexually frustrated middle aged women spike our morning coffee and make it Irish?" she asked, standing up and heading over to Alex's cupboard to get some alcohol.

Abbie snorted disapprovingly. "Hmph. I'll have you know, Benson, that I'm not even close to middle-aged. I'm twenty nine."

"Sure you are, Carmichael. Just like last year. And the year before that. And the year before that."

Abbie stuck out her tongue.

"Nope, sorry, you can't have any of that," Olivia quipped. Abbie sighed. At least Olivia was handling Alex's absence a little better now that two weeks had gone by. She hoped that the improvements would continue until Cabot returned. Until recently, Abbie had never considered herself much of a romantic, but she had to admit that her two friends were perfect for each other, and the sooner they were reunited, the better for everyone.

Before Abbie could offer a response, a buzz echoed through the apartment. She looked at Olivia curiously. "You expectin' anyone, Benson?"

"Nah." Olivia stood up, threading fingers through her mussed hair in an attempt to straighten it. "Let me go check." Picking up the land line that connected her to the front desk, Olivia cradled it on her shoulder. "Hello?"

" _Hello, Ms. Benson,_ " said the desk clerk, a live person instead of a recording. Having such tight security on the apartment building had made Olivia feel uncomfortable at first, but she was getting used to it. She talked her way past the desk clerks once or twice to see Alex at the beginning of their relationship, wanting to surprise her. _"There is a woman down here to see you, a Ms. Casey Novak? She isn't sure if this is the right place–"_

Olivia's eyes widened in surprise. She hadn't seen Casey or heard from her in years, not since her disbarment. The detective had respected her decision to leave New York and her old life behind, although it had hurt a little at the time. She and Casey had been well on their way to forming a friendship. Privately, Olivia wondered what she did to make all of her ADAs run away. She had no idea how Casey had figured out where she was living or why on earth she had decided to make contact after so long, but she had a feeling she was going to find out.

"No, I know her, she found the right place. Send her up and I'll let her in. Thank you."

"Who was that?" Abbie asked. The federal prosecutor had been watching the conversation with unconcealed interest.

"The front desk," Olivia said. "Do me a favor for once in your life, Carmichael, and go to the bedroom for a few minutes? Casey Novak, one of my former ADAs, just showed up out of nowhere after years of no contact, and I want to find out why."

"Don't want me as a distraction?"

"No offense, but you're kind of nosey, and you talk too much."

Abbie grinned, not bothering to deny the claims. "It's why ya love me. Promise to fill me in later?"

"If I feel I can," Olivia said. There was a brisk knock on the door, and Olivia headed to answer it while Abbie retreated down the hall towards the bedrooms.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven:**

"Casey." Even as Olivia said her name, she was struck by how different Casey Novak appeared from the slightly quirky but intelligent and well-put-together woman she remembered. She had lost weight and her familiar red hair was slightly longer, but the most noticeable change was the haunted, weary look behind her eyes. Olivia's heart recognized it immediately, and she wanted to reach out and give her former ADA a hug, but stopped herself. She wasn't sure if the hug would be welcomed. After all, Casey had left without a proper goodbye, much like Alex.

"Hey," she said, her voice monotone. "Thanks for buzzing me up."

Stepping aside, Olivia allowed Casey to enter Alex's apartment, surprised that the younger woman did not look around to inspect her new surroundings. She seemed lost, as though she was wandering through a fog. "There's no buzzer here," Olivia pointed out. Alex's place was too high-class. The front desk and the doorman guarded the premises like protective watchdogs. "How did you find me?"

She shrugged. "People talk. An old friend told me you were living with Alex Cabot."

"That's all they told you?" Olivia reached out to take Casey's coat, hanging it in the coat closet by the front door.

"Not all... you and Cabot, huh? From my first day on the job, I always knew I had big shoes to fill..."

With that tacit approval, Olivia felt her shoulders relax. "Park yourself on the couch," she said, putting a hand on Casey's shoulder and offering the other woman a warm smile. "This is my place, too, at least for the next six months, and what I say goes."

Casey seemed relieved, although the frightened, worn look did not disappear from her eyes. She sank gratefully onto Alex's couch, her purse sitting on her lap, and waited for Olivia to join her. The detective felt a little like George Huang as she sat down in between the second and third cushion, close enough to offer a hand or comforting touch, but far enough away to give Casey her space.

"Not that I'm unhappy to see you, but why are you here? Why now?"

The redhead sighed, brushing her long bangs away from her face. "Have you ever felt like things are just falling apart and you don't know where to go?"

Olivia shrugged. The Velez case. Losing Alex. Finding out that Alex was back, but hadn't contacted her. Finding out that she as engaged. Losing Alex again to her new job in the Congo... Basically, whenever Alex seemed out of reach, permanently or temporarily, her world tilted on its side and spun out of control. She did understand. "Yeah. So, that's why you're back? Trying to revisit the familiar?"

"I guess..." If this visit was just about Casey finding herself, she had a feeling that she wouldn't be much help. She also doubted that Novak would show up after so many years on a whim or fancy. Something had to be wrong.

"Listen, Case, I know we haven't seen each other in a long time, but you were more than just a colleague to me. While you were with us, I considered you my friend. If you need my help with something, all you have to do is ask."

For a moment, Casey seemed ashamed. "You have a feeling for these things, huh?" She took a deep breath. "Maybe it seemed cruel at the time, but when I was disbarred, I wanted a fresh start. A clean slate, you know? I thought it would be the healthiest thing for me..."

For the briefest moment, Casey smiled. "You wouldn't believe it, but leaving was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I floundered around for a few months, drinking too much tequila and wondering what the hell I was going to do with my life... until I reconnected with an old Law School buddy who struck it rich and wanted to dissolve his grandfather's business empire. With his help, I came up with an idea... I actually managed to start my own nonprofit for female service members and veterans, many of whom have been raped and discriminated against while serving our country. Guess everything you taught me at SVU came in handy."

Olivia returned the gentle smile. "Casey, that's great! It sounds like a really worthy cause. I knew you cared about the military while you were prosecuting our cases... and you had your father's awards displayed in your office..."

"With the softball plaque," Casey finished for her. "Yeah, I still have that, actually, and I still knock a pitch out of the park once in a while. I thought I was on my way to making a new life for myself. Then, they started coming..."

"What started coming?" Olivia asked, transitioning into 'detective mode' seamlessly. She had years of practice. She knew that this wasn't just a chat between friends. It was a police interview that happened to be taking place in Alex's apartment.

The former ADA sighed. "The letters. There were just a few at first. I thought they were addressed to the wrong person or something. There was no stamp or return address on the envelope. They said things like, "you looked pretty today" or "did you see me?"

Olivia nodded. "You think someone is watching you?"

"I don't want to believe that, but I know the signs. I lost my innocence working with you guys." She tried to force a smile, but it did not light up her face. She lowered her eyes and shook her head. "I know I was attacked once, but I guess the delusion stayed with me through the years... It took me a while to realize that lots of the rapists I prosecuted could have easily chosen me as their victim. Not all of the people we helped are poor druggies living in crime-ridden areas. Some came from the upper west side like me. But I guess my time away made me feel safe again. I forgot... I wasn't vigilant..."

"Casey, were you raped?"

The redhead's eyes widened. "No! No, god no."

"He didn't approach you at all?"

"No. For all I know it could be a woman or an ape in a dress, but if someone is stalking me, following me, sending me things... I figured that I should tell the best detective I know. That's you, Liv."

Olivia was far too concerned to be flattered. "Casey, you should report this to the police-"

"-You _are_ the police," Casey interrupted.

"But..."

"And I trust you. I know you'll handle this the right way. Besides, I worked the same cases you did a couple of years ago. Even if they find out who it is, what are they going to do, give me an order of protection? You know how effective those are."

"You think I can do better?"

"I know you can do better." Reaching into her large purse, Casey pulled out a thick brown envelope stuffed with papers. Olivia's eyes grew large at the size. "My DNA should be on the first couple, which I opened. After they started coming with some regularity, I stopped breaking the seal in case there was any kind of evidence. I even used those cheap plastic gloves so my prints wouldn't get on them."

"How long have you been getting these letters?"

"Three weeks, and it's not just the letters. Phone calls – I'm not listed publicly, so I have no idea how the bastard got my home number... Flowers, usually roses. Oh well, it could be worse. At least he's not leaving me dead animals."

"You kept the flowers?"

"They're at my place," Casey said, "although some of them are dying. I didn't want to throw out anything. On the bright side, my apartment smells like a perfume shop." Casey choked on the last word, drawing in a short, hissing breath through her teeth as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to suppress a shudder and holding back tears. "Liv, please, find this guy. Look back through my old cases if you have to... I'll pay you overtime..." she offered, but the joke fell flat. "I just want to feel safe in my damn apartment again, you know?"

"Yeah," Olivia said, rubbing a comforting line down Casey's arm and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Yeah, I know. I'll call Elliot and we'll go through everything you've got. Maybe I can bribe Huang to give me some kind of profile with steak or ribs."

Suddenly, the detective found herself with an armful of grateful ex-ADA, and for a moment, she let herself pretend that Alex was back... but Casey's perfume was different, and her body did not line up in all the right places. Still, getting a hug from an old friend was nice.

"So..." Casey finally said when she pulled away, "Cabot's got a nice, swanky place, huh? Did she turn you into an Uptown girl yet, Olivia?"

"No, but she has told me on numerous occasions that cabs stop faster for Uptown girls..."

A loud crash from the direction of the kitchen made both women jump. Olivia's hand shot to her waist, but she wasn't wearing her piece, and she seriously doubted that anyone had broken in to her apartment. "Carmichael!" she shouted as Casey clutched a hand to her chest, trying to catch her breath, "what the hell are you doing to my kitchen!"

"Makin' food!" Abbie yelled back.

"More food? We still haven't gotten through the leftovers from a few days ago," Olivia hollered back.

"Is that Abbie Carmichael?" Casey asked curiously. Olivia nodded. "I had the pleasure of meeting her once... she asked me to sleep with her after about five minutes of conversation."

Olivia snorted. "That's our Abbie. I assume you left a handprint on her face?"

Casey blushed. "Not quite. I didn't sleep with her, but I almost said yes... and I'm actually straight. Then I decided I must be crazy and told her I had a meeting – which was true."

"Congratulations. You can join the 'I Resisted Abbie Carmichael Club', then. Currently, you and Alex are the only members."

Olivia felt Casey's eyes burning her face. "... You?"

"Um, I'm a half-member? Never mind, it's a really long story..." She raised her voice and added, "Abbie! Are you going to feed us?"

"You bet your sweet ass I am! Come on in here and I'll put the feed on ya."

"Love's good for her," Olivia said, mostly to herself, but also to Casey. "It makes her cook more food."

Suddenly, Olivia's cell phone rang. With a big sigh, she picked it up and answered with a crisp, automatic "Benson".

"It's me, Liv," came Elliot's familiar voice. "I know you're off right now, but we've got a lead on Samantha. We have video of a car and license plate at the body's drop-site. Registered to a guy named Gambel. Why don't you meet me at his place so we can pay him a little visit and ask what a dead body was doing in his car?"

Olivia sighed, covering the mouthpiece of her phone. "Sorry, Case. I promise to take a look at all this stuff, but I have to go check something out with Elliot. Why don't you stay and eat something. Abbie can keep you company for an hour or two while I'm gone, right?"

"Sure," said Abbie, giving Casey a wicked grin. "I'll make Ms. Novak feel right at home. We southerners are known for our hospitality."

Casey looked a little wary, but that wasn't surprising. Abbie Carmichael's reputation preceded her, and interacting with her was a little intimidating even for the bravest of women. "Are you sure? I can come back later..."

"Don't worry, you'll be fine," Olivia reassured her, "I promise. Abbie, be good."

Abbie didn't help the situation by treating them both to an evil laugh. "Am I ever _not_ good?" Olivia decided not to answer that question.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight:**

The first thing that Alex Cabot did when she stepped into her room was kick off her shoes and curse herself for being impractical. "Olivia would be chewing me out for wearing these," she said, staring down at her Dolce and Gabbana heels. The Pradas from the day before weren't any better. Thinking about Olivia made her sigh, but her heart lifted slightly when she realized that she had a free moment to call Olivia. The clock on her nightstand read 4:02 AM, but back in New York, Olivia would just be going to bed.

Not even bothering to take off her clothes and change, she flopped down onto the single bed, grateful that it at least had clean sheets, and touched the screen of her cell phone. 7 missed calls stared back at her. There were also several voicemails.

All from Olivia.

One by one, Alex Cabot went through the messages, partially because she wanted to hear Olivia's voice, and partially because the sheer amount of missed calls had her worried. "It's probably nothing," she said to herself as the robotic voice of her phone announced how many messages she had.

" _Hi, Alex. It's me. Awful case today. Found an environmentalist tied up and dumped in the hospital laundry. Still looking for leads, but, hey, it made me worry, and – well, call me back. I guess the cases are different now that I, you know, have someone... bye."_

The corners of Alex's lips twitched upwards in a smile. It was nice to know Olivia cared, even though she didn't want the detective to worry about her. At least not too much.

" _Hey, it's Liv again. You'll never guess who showed up at my apartment today! Talk about a blast from the past... I'll explain when I talk to you later. Unfortunately, I had to leave her with Abbie because El and I got a lead on our case. Gotta go, we just pulled up to our suspect's house – love you."_

Alex adjusted her pillows and let the phone run her next message.

" _Uh, sorry to bother you again – I guess you're out of range or whatever but... I thought you should hear it from me. Um, Elliot and I were shot at..."_

All of the blood drained from Alex's face. She immediately hung up on her voicemail and hit Olivia's number on speed dial. The phone clicked as Olivia picked up, sounding surprisingly chipper. "Hey, Alex."

"Olivia! You are in so much trouble; I can't... are you all right? You're not hurt? Do I need to fly back home? Hold on, let me get my PDA so I can book a flight, I'll find Internet somewhere in this Godforsaken–"

"Woah, woah, woah... Alex, calm down! I'm fine, I promise. Not a scratch on me. Elliot busted the perp's head open, though."

"I knew I liked that man," Alex blurted out, unsure what else to say. So many thoughts and feelings were swirling around inside her that she could not begin to sort through them all. "Liv... God, I really want to hold you in my arms right now. You're sure you're okay? I'm going to call Abbie and Serena and Elliot to come stay with you and make sure you're okay..."

Olivia groaned. "No, Alex, I swear I'm fine, and Abbie's already staying with me. Er, you – us – whatever. At the apartment. Serena was over the other night for dinner, by the way. Abbie cooked –"

"Olivia," Alex growled, trying to keep her voice under control. Her heart was still thudding against her ribcage and her breathing was fast. "Olivia. Tell. Me. What. Happened."

Realizing that her attempts to distract Alex were not going to work, Olivia caved. "Well, this morning we caught a case: woman dumped in the hospital laundry and taken to the industrial plant. It was bad, Lex. Raped, tortured, throat slit..."

Alex suppressed a shudder. Olivia was a hardened sex crimes detective, and even she seemed particularly affected by the brutality of this case. She could hear it in the tone of her voice. "How did that lead to you getting shot?"

"Give me a minute," she sighed. "We got surveillance video of a Volvo dumping the body and tracked it to a dead guy named Gambel Sr. Turns out his son, Gambel Jr., is still alive and kicking, and he owns the car. When we went to question him, the bastard lied and said his brother had it, offered to go inside and get his address, and locked the door behind him."

If she had not been so upset and concerned, Alex would have let out a snort of laughter. In any other circumstances, seeing a perp trick Olivia in such a simple way might have been funny. Not this time.

"Then the little prick shot at us through the door. We were nowhere near the bullet spray, but I thought you'd want to know." Alex read between the lines and translated what her girlfriend was really saying: _I didn't want you to kill me if you heard about it some other way._

Still brooding, she didn't realize that Olivia had not stopped talking until she heard the phrase, "-serial rapist. We found a whole box of trophies at his place – a ring, handkerchief, stuff from a bunch of different vics. No confession yet. He lawyered up, one of your old buddies. British accent. Annoying smirk. Sound familiar?"

"Pond." Alex groaned. "I am _so_ incredibly glad that I don't have to deal with her anymore."

"Because she's a bitch?"

"No, because she's a good lawyer. Better than Trevor, anyway. Why she continues to defend the scum of the earth, I'll never know... – dammit, stop distracting me! So, you're sure that you're all right? No injuries at all?"

"None," Olivia said, trying to reassure the concern she heard so clearly in the attorney's voice. "I'm perfectly fine–"

"Were you wearing a vest?"

"Alex, we had no reason to believe that Gambel Jr. would be armed. We didn't even know that he existed. We just went to check Gambel Sr.'s last known address. For all we knew, we were going to end up staring at a 'For Sale' sign and talking to a landlord about the deceased."

Even though she knew it was irrational, Alex was still upset. "Maybe I should –"

"No, don't come home. You have a job to do, Alex. Everything is back to normal now, but Huang still needs to see me for my psych eval." Alex could picture Olivia wrinkling her nose and making a face reminiscent of a child staring down at unwanted vegetables. "Ugh."

"You like Huang. Olivia, I..." She closed her eyes, bringing her free hand up to her forehead to massage her throbbing temple. "You know I love you, right, baby?"

There was a pause on the other end. "I know, Alex. I love you, too." Despite her initial reluctance to say the words, Olivia said them as often as possible now. Alex knew that they were especially precious tonight. The news of Olivia's flirtation with danger had scraped both of their hearts raw.

"You sound exhausted." Now that she had stopped trying to sound happy and upbeat, she could hear the tiredness that laced her lover's voice. "You should go to sleep..."

"Can't. You're not here. Although Abbie and I had a distraction this morning."

"Not too good a distraction, I hope," Alex said, but the joke felt hollow and forced.

"Never, sweetie," said Olivia, and Alex was touched by her sincerity even though the sentiments were nothing new. "Something even weirder than getting shot at and catching a new case happened today. I had an interesting visitor."

"Oh?" Alex raised her eyebrows.

"Casey Novak. You remember her?"

"Of course. It's hard to forget such awful taste in footwear. I will admit that she did a good job questioning me, though."

"Hey, be nice to Casey," Olivia said, sounding slightly grumpy. "Apparently, someone's been making unwanted advances." She held herself back from saying 'stalker' because she did not want to worry Alex. In fact, Casey had seemed reluctant to bother her even while asking for help, eagerly letting Olivia leave in the middle of lunch and promising to tell the rest of her story later after she finished up at the scene of her latest case. So far, that later had not come.

"Unwanted advances?" Alex asked, knowing that Olivia was not telling her the entire story. "What kind of trouble have you been getting in to while I'm gone? An old friend shows up out of the blue, you find a corpse in a laundry cart, and you get shot at... What are you, a castmember in some soap opera?"

Olivia let out a long sigh. "Heh, I wish. No, my life is pretty much always this crazy." She paused. "I know you're probably tired, but could you..."

Alex read her mind. "Leave the phone on while both of us try to get some sleep?"

"Waste of money, minutes, and battery life, I know..." Olivia's voice trailed off sadly, but there was also a melancholy, pleading sort of hopefulness behind her words.

There was only one answer Alex could possibly give. "You know I will." She paused, then added, "just because I'm feeling generous, I won't ask you for phone sex after the day you had." Her second joke was much more successful, and Olivia chuckled lightly.

"Hmm. So you're not going to tell me what you're wearing?"

"Work clothes," Alex sighed. "The skirt and jacket with the two-tone gray pattern... Robin's egg blue blouse, though, not white."

"I'm wearing... flannel," Olivia admitted. "Sleeping naked in winter isn't nearly as much fun without you to help keep me warm."

Alex put the phone on speaker and stood up, stripping off her jacket before working on the buttons of her blouse and shimmying out of her skirt. "You'll be pleased to know that I'm taking off my clothes. I'm not even going to fold them."

"I don't believe it. Take a picture with your cell phone as proof. I bet you wake up at two in the morning to fix it because you're anal retentive."

"I am not." Alex scowled, but left the suit in a crumpled heap and stripped off her hose. "Okay, maybe a little. Right now, I'm too tired to care." Wearing only her underwear, she glanced over at her still unpacked suitcase and debated standing up again to find some pajamas. Eventually, she decided against it. The temperature was warm enough to go without. The snow and bitter wind of New York's winter were two things that she would not miss.

Curling up underneath the covers, she put the phone next to her ear, listening to the sound of Olivia's breathing. "Ready for bed?"

There was a half-yawn on the other end of the line. "Mmm. Yep. Alex, thanks... for not freaking out and everything."

"Oh, I freaked out. You just had the phone as a buffer." Secretly, Alex felt guilty that she was stuck half way around the world while Olivia had faced down danger in New York. What if something had happened? If Olivia ever did get injured while out on the job...

"Hey, don't think like that," Olivia said, reading into the silence. "I'm fine. I promise. And – and if something did happen... I know you would be here. Look, it's bad luck to talk about it, but I put your name on the sheet with Elliot's. Of people to contact, you know? So someone would call you..."

Alex's eyes, which had started tearing up while she thought about something happening to Olivia, suddenly burned with dryness. She was shocked, touched, happy, and incredibly depressed all at once. Suddenly, she thought of Kathy Stabler, whom she had only met twice. She and Olivia weren't quite there yet, but Alex knew that she needed to get used to the idea of waking up every morning and getting through the day with the knowledge that, in the blink of an eye, her entire world could be taken away from her.

"Thank you," was all she could manage to say.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine:**

"No, turn to your other left!" Serena grumbled sarcastically at the television. "Honestly, I don't know what you see in NASCAR, Abbie," she said, offering the federal prosecutor the warm mug that she held in her hands before sitting down beside her.

Still gazing, transfixed, at her laptop, Abbie took a sip from the mug, eyebrows raising in surprise and delight. "Mmm, hot chocolate with marshmallows! Thanks, Serena. You're the best." Reluctantly setting down the mug and turning away from the screen of her laptop, she dropped a soft, lingering kiss on the blonde attorney's cheek.

Serena smiled softly, leaning over to look at what Abbie was working on. She expected it to be work, some kind of research or at least an e-mail inbox cleaning, but instead, she found herself staring at the web page for Texas A&M. "Abbie, what are you doing?"

Abbie grinned. "Watchin' NASCAR, drinking hot chocolate, reading the latest Aggie basketball scores, and sitting with my best girl. Why?"

"Basketball?" Serena looked confused. "I mean, NASCAR I knew about before, but why are you looking up basketball scores?"

"Because Football season's over!" Abbie announced mournfully, as though that was the most logical explanation in the world. "And because they're playing the Longhorns."

Serena immediately understood. "Ah, I see." Even though Abbie was mostly uninterested in basketball, her Aggie pride (and thus, her hatred of the Longhorns) would not let her rest without at least checking the scores. With a mischievous gleam in her eye, Serena let one hand slide up Abbie's denim-clad thigh, passing over the material with her thumb to stroke the skin beneath. "I don't suppose you could be distracted for a few minutes, hmm?"

Even though Serena's touch made her shiver, Abbie pretended to be unaffected by the breathy voice in her ear. She was slowly getting used to ignoring her body's urges, but the going was difficult. Most times, just seeing Serena was enough to send her head spinning and her heart pounding as she struggled not to tackle her to the floor and tear her clothes off in a fit of violent passion. Serena knew just how hard she was trying to be good, but she still delighted in pushing Abbie to the edge of her limits.

Abbie swallowed conspicuously as Serena began kneading her thigh just above the knee. "Um, maybe," she squeaked, her voice completely different from the low, husky southern drawl that all of her friends were used to. Trying to distract herself, she took another sip of her hot chocolate.

Her companion took the opportunity to rest her head on Abbie's shoulder, not really interested in the 'drama' playing out on the screen as a new NASCAR driver moved into first place. She had never seen the appeal of the sport, and suspected Abbie only watched it because she liked being an amusing stereotype – before shattering people's assumptions with her perverted lesbian ways.

Feeling the weight of Serena's head on her shoulder, Abbie almost dropped her cup. Hands shaking, she set it back down on the table so that she wouldn't spill. "Howdy there," she said, unable to resist leaning over and kissing Serena's fair hair. Serena responded by brushing a soft, wet kiss over Abbie's pulse-point, which was hammering double speed underneath her skin.

"This is nice," she purred, snuggling up against Abbie's side and tucking her knees up onto the couch. "We never got to do this before..."

"Do what before?"

"Just cuddle."

"Aw, that ain't cuddling. This here is cuddling." Abbie wrapped both arms around Serena, not caring that the blonde's arm was cutting some of the blood circulation off from one hand. Holding the slender woman in her arms was more than worth the slight discomfort. Leaning back into a comfortable position, she tried to ignore the dramatic effect that holding Serena close had on her body.

"Do you know what I like even better than cuddling?" Serena asked, tilting her head up and gazing into soft brown eyes.

"What?" Abbie murmured.

"Kissing." Serena whispered the single word against the tall Texan's lips before bringing their mouths together in a soft peck. Abbie felt her face flush with heat. Serena's lips, Serena's taste, Serena's warmth, they were the most wonderful sensations in the entire world, and she would never be able to get enough. She just hoped that the ACLU lawyer would give her a chance to prove she was worthy of keeping her heart safe.

"Know what?" Abbie asked, nuzzling Serena's nose with her own.

"What?"

"NASCAR's not that interesting anyway," she said, casually muting the volume with the remote and pulling Serena in for another, deeper kiss.

...

Olivia sighed, brushing her bangs off of her face as she went through the pile of letters that Casey had diligently collected for her, writing down pertinent information on her notepad before sealing them in bags and shipping them off to the lab for evaluation. Maybe they would get lucky and find some DNA samples, perhaps even a hit in the system. She took another sip of her coffee, blinking away the tired blurriness that threatened to creep in around the edges of her vision.

The detective still felt guilty for leaving Casey with Abbie the other afternoon, and so she had called their former ADA in the morning to check in. Casey claimed that she was doing fine, and assured her that Abbie had been a total gentlewoman. Olivia figured that being shot at had earned her a pass for the social faux pas she had committed. To make up for it, she was reviewing all of Casey's evidence, partially to alleviate her guilt and partially because Cragen had suspended her from Samantha and Gambel's case until she went to a psych evaluation. It was SOP after a shooting, but that didn't mean Olivia had to like it.

"Hey, what's all this?" Elliot Stabler put a comforting hand on her shoulder, peering down at the desk full of papers and packages. "This has nothing to do with finding Samantha's killer."

"God, don't remind me about that case, please," Olivia groaned. "I'm not supposed to be working on it anyway." She was still bothered by the memory of the woman found dead in the laundry cart. So far, Jason Gambel had left them with nothing to go on but a box of strange trophies from his alleged victims. "I'm doing something else to put off my psych eval. Then I'll probably help Fin and Munch go through Gambel's trophies and track down the other victims."

"Hey, the meeting with Huang might not be so bad," Elliot said, ignoring his own reluctance to meet with the psychologist.

"Yeah right. Why don't you go see him, then?"

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Because I'm a stubborn jarhead, not an intelligent lady like yourself. We overbearing masculine types are supposed to hide our feelings at the expense of our emotional health while you actually deal with your problems and move on."

That made Olivia snort. "If you think I enjoy dealing with my problems, you obviously don't know me that well after ten years of partnership."

"I didn't say you enjoyed it," Elliot said, his expression sober. "I said you would deal with it. It's part of the job. But you never answered the question, what is all this stuff?"

"A pleasant distraction," Olivia told him, using a glove to move one of the letters into a visible position on her desk. "Don't touch without protection."

Elliot smirked at her and waggled his eyebrows. "That's what she said..."

"Shut up, dumbass. Just read it."

Dutifully, Elliot scanned the few lines of loopy cursive. It was very neat, and almost artistic, written in real ink. "Calligraphy?"

"Yeah, I know it looks pretty, but read what it says."

The detective frowned, leaning closer. " _One day soon you will be mine?_ Olivia, who do these belong to?"

"Would you believe Casey Novak?"

Whatever Elliot had been expecting, hearing their former ADA's name clearly took him by surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah, really. She came by Alex's apartment the other day asking for my help. It seems like Casey's got a secret admirer and hoped I'd agree to look in to it."

Elliot frowned. "Why not call in the police?"

"I asked her the same question. She said we were the police, and she trusted us more than some hump at a desk that would take her statement and then do absolutely nothing about it. You know how these creeps work, El. The law can't do anything until they strike, and then it's usually too late."

Unfortunately, Elliot knew just how accurate Olivia's assessment was. "You're right. So, what have we got?"

Olivia's lips twitched up in a smile as Elliot – faithful, reliable Elliot – took a seat beside her, ready to help and back her play. He had always been there for her. "I miss Alex," she said in a burst of emotional vulnerability, hoping that the tough marine would be able to handle a little more sentimentality without getting uncomfortable.

Elliot gave her shoulder another squeeze. "Yeah, I know." He had noticed the empty, sad, lonely look in Olivia's brown eyes, and as much as he wanted to make it go away, he knew that he couldn't. The light would only return when Alex came back from her Safari adventure. "How is she?"

"Doing a lot of paperwork and collecting a lot of witness statements to make sure that a guy named Mani Japhet never sees sunlight again. He ordered guerilla troops to rape hundreds of women and enslave them in compounds... burned children alive, destroyed homes and local agriculture, butchered the men like animals." Olivia shuddered. "How can people do that to each other?"

"Hey, I dunno. I ask myself the same question every day. I guess people in New York aren't as different from people in third world countries as we'd like to believe."

Olivia took off her glove, snapping the stretchy plastic with a loud crack. "Yeah. One death is a tragedy, a million is just a statistic... I guess that kind of large-scale evil is too much for people to comprehend, so they don't sense the urgency to fix it."

"Well, for now, let's take a look at these letters and see if we can find any kind of identifying thread. We can't save the world, but maybe we can help Casey find out who is bothering her. Tell her to come in and see us, would you? I know Munch and Fin would love to see a pretty face in here again."

"Hardwicke's not pretty enough for you?"

"Eh. Not bad, but she's no Alex," said Elliot, referring to their new ADA. So far, Olivia was handling her all right, but her relationship with Elliot was frosty at the best of times.

Olivia aimed a punch at Elliot's head. "Hey! That's my girl you're talking about."

"Y'know, Benson, I should be jealous. You seduced the hottest of our ADA's." Olivia did not bother to correct him and explain that Alex had practically been the one to seduce her.

"You should be grateful, Stabler. If you tried to seduce any of our ADA's, I'd tell Kathy, and then she'd chop off your balls and shove them down your throat. I wouldn't even be able to investigate without IAB breathing down my neck."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten:**

"So, Olivia, what's the occasion?" Casey plopped onto the couch next to Olivia, eyeing the detective with a mixture of concern and curiosity. She was half way through a bottle of expensive wine from Alex's liquor cabinet and looking very sorry for herself. Her journey from the front door of Alex's apartment to the couch had been slightly wobbly as well, and Casey almost offered a steadying hand for her elbow, choosing to let her be at the last minute. She knew better than most how stubborn Olivia Benson could be.

The detective sighed. "Anyone ever tell you you're nosey, Novak?" she mumbled, folding her arms irritably over her breasts and staring down at her lap.

The redheaded attorney sighed right back at her. "Yeah, a time or two, but I bet you've been called worse." She gave Olivia a tight smile. Perhaps calling on Olivia this late wasn't such a good idea, even if the detective had extended the invitation in the first place.

"What's the occasion of _your_ visit?"

"You seriously don't remember asking me to come over when we talked on the phone this morning?"

"Alcohol," Olivia slurred, tipping the wine bottle in a waving salute. "It makes me forget things..." _Except the things I really need to forget,_ her mind added bitterly. _Like blonde hair and blue eyes... missing Alex..._

"And you're drinking alcohol because...?"

Olivia's eyes narrowed and her tone immediately became defensive. "Because I had a really shitty day, all right?" Even though she rarely used alcohol to numb emotional distress, Alex's absence had left her unbalanced. "I sent off your boxes to the forensic analysts, so there's nothing I can do to help you until they get back to me, which makes me feel like a lousy friend... I'm no closer to figuring out who Gambel's trophies belong to, and I'm not even supposed to be working until Huang shrinks my head... I'm useless. And the love of my life is half a world away..."

Even though Casey didn't understand half of what Olivia was rambling about, she knew that she was intruding on an extremely private moment. The redhead quickly reevaluated her approach. Maybe friendly banter wasn't the best way to go. What Olivia needed was a sympathetic ear. "Hey," she said, putting a friendly hand on the brunette detective's shoulder and squeezing gently. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Wanna know the worst part?" Olivia said bleakly, blinking her dry eyes and setting the bottle of wine on Alex's coffee table. The television murmured from various expensive speakers around the living room, but neither of them was paying attention.

"What's the worst part?" Casey asked, not sure she wanted to know, but understanding that Olivia needed someone to talk to.

"This is the anniversary of her fake funeral... and..."

Casey let out a soft gasp. "And..."

"You know, when she was dying, when I felt her blood pouring out between my fingers – God, it covered the back of my hands, it was everywhere... my biggest regret was never telling her I loved her... I tried to tell her. She said once that she remembers my voice before it all fades out. She remembers me saying 'sweetie' and telling her to hang on..."

Completely surprised at Olivia's sudden, uncharacteristic verbosity and unsure how to react in this emotionally charged situation, Casey was nonetheless heartbroken. For the first time, she saw exactly how much Alex obviously meant to Olivia. Unlike the rest of the squad, she had not seen the two interact together except on one or two occasions. Then, they had been distant, formal, almost painfully so. Now, the feelings of love and loss were written clearly on Olivia's face.

At first, she had been planning to admonish Olivia for drinking. Usually, the older woman was very responsible with alcohol, particularly considering her painful family background. Now she understood. She'd let it slide tonight. Olivia so rarely indulged, and it sounded like she was having a really terrible day... week... month...

She decided that the best thing she could do was talk about Alex. "You know, she hated me when she came back. Accused me of trying to steal her detectives away from her. Little did she know that she is irreplaceable."

Olivia smiled faintly. "Yeah... she'd already stolen my heart. Major felony right there. Got her twenty five to life."

"Oh, so you're a clever drunk," Casey drawled, finishing off the wine that remained in Olivia's glass and leaving behind a lipstick print. She decided it didn't matter. Olivia had already had more than enough, and now she was here to limit her alcohol intake.

"Depends on what I'm drinking. I can be clever, moody, horny, or all three."

"Well, let's hope you're not the last one," Casey said quickly, not as accustomed to the sexual banter that Olivia, Alex, and Serena had inherited from Abbie Carmichael like some kind of contagious disease.

"No," Olivia sighed, reclaiming the bottle of wine and wagging it at Casey, whose face was just a little blurry around the edges. "Now I'm mostly just moody..." Of course, the horniness was also a problem, but she was not drunk enough to let that information slip. Although it was not affecting her at the moment, the past few weeks had been difficult. Being apart from Alex was torturous, and watching Abbie and Serena dance around each other did not help. "I'm glad you stopped by," she admitted softly. "Abbie and Serena are out on another date. Abbie keeps taking her out because if they stay here they'll start going at it, and she's got chivalrous notions of wanting to wait."

"Do you always talk about your friends that way?"

Olivia shrugged. "It's the truth."

Casey noticed Olivia's eyelids drooping and decided to be responsible. "Hey, we can talk about my case some other night, okay? Why don't you get some sleep. Do you mind if I take the couch and stay over? I really, really don't want to go back to my place this late..." She left the rest of the sentence unspoken, not wanting to acknowledge the uncomfortable and possibly dangerous situation that she found herself living with. "I'd feel safer here with a badge and a gun a couple of rooms away, even if the officer in question is – slightly incapacitated."

"Big words," Olivia hummed contentedly. "Sounds like Alex..." Perhaps if she was feeling a little more chivalrous, she would have offered Casey use of the bed, or even suggested sharing, but it didn't feel like her bed to give up... not without Alex. All she wanted to do was curl up in that physical reminder of their relationship, the place where they had made love so many times, where they had held each other and whispered promises and adorations.

So she didn't, and Casey understood. "You're more than welcome to stay the night. Sorry I'm a terrible host."

The attorney smiled. "It's okay. Maybe I'll make you some eggs and toast in the morning."

That reminded Olivia of the first time she had stayed over at Alex's place, filling her with more bittersweet longing. "Thanks, Case," she said, her throat tight with tears, "that'd be... nice."

...

 _You have 7 new messages._

"And back to the busy workday," Olivia said, squinting at her laptop screen. She had awoken an hour earlier, and after a brief but refreshing shower, the effects of the alcohol and her sob session on Casey Novak's shoulder had been temporarily scrubbed away. Still, her longing for Alex remained. The redhead had been a godsend, making her breakfast and then slipping away after assuring Olivia that she would keep in touch. Abbie and Serena were still out doing God knew what, and she had the apartment to herself for a little while. Not wanting to brood and definitely not wanting to stop in at the precinct with the threat of George Huang hanging over her head, she decided to get some work done at home for the first half of the day.

Blinking to clear her head, she focused on the unread e-mails in her inbox, debating whether to get up and make a fresh pot of coffee. That just reminded her that she would only need to brew enough for one, which made the loneliness creeping in around the edges of her heart burn even more fiercely.

That is, until she saw the sender of the third e-mail on the list. Alex. So far, they had been pretty good at sending e-mails and texts back and forth. Alex's reception and schedule was occasionally unreliable, as was Olivia's, and so actual face-time over the computer or in-person phone conversations were rarer than she would like. When they could not reach each other, they settled for leaving short, sweet messages of affection that remained in both of their thoughts for the rest of the day and bolstered their courage. And balancing a long-distance relationship, even a temporary one, did take a lot of courage.

This particular e-mail came with a video attachment. Curious, Olivia clicked on the 'Download' button. Groaning when the estimated time next to the download link read 5 minutes, she went back to checking the rest of her e-mail, deleting two offers for discounts on male enhancement pills, three claims to lower her auto-insurance premiums, and an e-mail stating that she had won the Australian lottery. Although her work e-mail was usually secure, a few spam messages still slipped through.

She skimmed a few more work-related messages before checking on the downloading file from Alex. To her surprise, it was already done. _And just in time,_ she thought, clicking eagerly on the link, excited at the prospect of seeing her lover's face.

To her surprise, she saw the back of Alex's head instead, her hair pulled back in a loose bun. Obviously just having started the recording process, her blonde lover was walking away from the camera and over to her iPod station. Although Alex's torso was blocking the view, Olivia guessed from the movement of her right arm that she was scrolling through the list of songs. Finally, she turned around and Olivia gasped.

Alex was wearing a white tank top, nipples clearly visible through the flimsy fabric, and a pair of soft looking, dark red panties that revealed her gorgeous legs. Olivia was so entranced that she did not even notice that the camera's setup gave her a full view of Alex's bed. Looking a little shy, Alex stopped and waved at the camera. "Hi, baby. I heard through the grape vine that you've been feeling kind of lonely lately, so I wanted to send you something special. I love you, and I wish you were here... I really, really wish you were here..." Reaching over to her iPod, she pressed the play button.

As the silver strains of a solo flute curled from the speakers like smoke, Alex walked over to the side of the bed, putting a deliberate sway in her hips and giving the camera – and Olivia – a very nice view. She reached for something on the nightstand, and Olivia's throat went dry as she watched Alex slide her familiar but oh-so-incredibly sexy glasses onto her nose.

"Oh God," Olivia mumbled, still staring at the screen, "she is not. She is _not._ "

But apparently she was.


	11. Chapter 11

**Part Three**

 **AN:** Listen to Ravel's _Bolero_ for Chapter Eleven. Also, starting in Chapter Twelve, several lines of dialogue and scenes are taken from the L &O SVU episode: _Trophies_. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **Chapter Eleven:**

Sliding one leg onto the bed and curling her knee, Alex reached down to undo her right garter clip – Jesus, she had been so busy watching Alex's face that she hadn't even noticed the matching garter set – and slowly, teasingly, she pulled the stocking down, lifting her leg and pointing her toe until the silky material was peeled back, revealing inch after inch of pale, smooth flesh. As the rich alto voice of a clarinet took over the melody, Alex went to work on her other stocking, keeping direct eye contact with the camera as she pulled it over her calf and past her ankle, letting it dangle from one toe for a moment before tossing it carelessly onto the foot of the bed.

The music changed, becoming high and bluesy, a desperate, seductive cry descending into a whisper, but Olivia's mind barely registered the modulation. Instead, she was watching Alex's slender hands as they lifted the hem of the white tank top, displaying the twitching muscles of her stomach as she climbed fully onto the bed, leaning forward to give her enraptured audience of one a teasing glimpse of her cleavage before kneeling and turning around.

"Oh God," the detective groaned, her eyes absorbing every detail as Alex pulled off the shirt, showing the naked expanse of her back and the wings of her shoulder blades, which Olivia desperately wanted to kiss. As if in answer to the words, the blonde turned around and gave her lover a seductive smile from over her shoulder, blue eyes half-lidded and clouded with lust.

Olivia licked dry lips as Alex slowly turned forwards again, revealing high, firm breasts and obviously excited pink nipples. The brunette's fingers twitched as she imagined cupping them, using her mouth on them, kissing everywhere around the attorney's chest and shoulders... as if she had read Olivia's mind, Alex's hands came up to squeeze her own breasts, closing her eyes and tilting her chin back as a smile played over her lips. The flute returned, this time with a distant trumpet, and Alex's eyes finally opened for a moment and locked with Olivia's over time and space, saying without words everything that Olivia longed to hear: _I love you. I miss you. These hands are your hands. This is really you touching me._

Before she realized what was happening, Olivia's fingers were fumbling with the button and zipper to her slacks, sliding into her pants without her permission. She paused, hand shaking, more than a little embarrassed and not sure if she could – or should – continue. But this wasn't some shady sex video on the Internet. This was special, something Alex had made just for her, and damn it, she was going to enjoy her present. If this was the closest she could come to touching Alex for the next few weeks, she would take it. And right now, it looked and felt pretty damn amazing.

A saxophone called out, singing over the orchestra, sighing, almost crying for a lover's touch. And that was when the prosecutor slid one hand down her stomach, across her abdomen, breaking her path and pausing to swirl around her navel before dipping just below the elastic of her panties, painting a line from hip to hip.

Olivia chewed on the corner of her mouth, making a soft, desperate sound of joy in the back of her throat as Alex spread her legs. For once, she completely approved of Alex's expensive taste in computers, because the resolution was perfect. She could see everything, the dark patch of wetness coating the red underwear, the curved outline of Alex's outer lips, the texture of her skin, God, everything. For a moment, she felt like she was really there, that she could even smell her lover, taste her...

And that was when Alex's hand crept beneath her underwear, cupping herself fully, groaning as her fingers met slick warmth. Without consciously choosing to do so, Olivia copied her, sliding fingers against her own swollen flesh, gasping at the amount of wetness she felt. A trombone's slide mirrored the slide of Alex's underwear as the attorney peeled it off, dragging it down to her knees and finishing the job with her legs, bringing the hand that she had been using to touch herself up to her mouth and swirling her tongue around her fingers, tilting her head back to reveal the vulnerable curve of her swan's throat.

Christ. Alex was completely naked. Alex was completely naked and touching herself in a video she had made just for Olivia. Just because she loved her. That thought made Olivia's hips jerk against her hand, and she almost closed her eyes and whimpered, but stopped herself at the last possible second, not wanting to miss a moment of the show even though she could replay it as many times as she wanted.

– _Oh God, replay..._ The thought that she could save and keep this present to watch as often as she liked made Olivia's heartbeat spike.

Her gaze locked on the computer screen, she watched Alex spread her legs again, revealing all of herself to Olivia's hungry eyes. Even though it was not the first time, the sight made the detective's eyes sting a little. Every inch of Alex was perfect; her hips, her thighs, the soft, neatly cropped strip of golden curls just above smooth, bare lips, lips that peeled apart to show pink, glistening inner folds, glossy and smooth like the inner sweep of a seashell.

Olivia's formerly dry mouth began to water and she wetted her lips as memories of making love to Alex crashed over her in waves. In the video, she was sure Alex was thinking about the same thing, because she was lost in her fantasy, fingers slipping hungrily in and out of her folds as she imagined that her hand was Olivia's, that her lover was really there with her.

The entire orchestra was playing now, crescendoing and then fading in swells of sound, echoing the call from earlier and washing over Olivia as pleasure washed over Alex, who purposely arched her hips up, eyes still locked on the camera as her thumb swiped over the swollen bud that was clearly aching to be tended to. Her eyes said: _this is all for you, Olivia. This is how you make me feel when you're with me._

And knowing that when Alex came home, she could make full use of the gorgeous body on display sent Olivia's inner muscles into tight, coiling spasms. But it wasn't enough, never enough. Still twitching, she watched as Alex reached for something behind her pillow, pulling out the object and holding it up for Olivia to see.

 _Oh god..._

The sight of the familiar red Jackrabbit was exciting and erotic. It had resided in Alex's bedroom drawer for the past year, even before she had started seeing Olivia, but the detective had been more than happy to use it on the blonde once she discovered its hiding place. The knowledge that they had shared this particular device made Alex's choice seem even more intimate.

When the attorney took the tip of it in her mouth, cheeks hollowing as she wrapped her tongue around the shaft, Olivia nearly fell out of her chair. That was something she had never imagined she would find enjoyable – at least not until meeting Alex. In fact, the adventurous blonde had been the one to suggest using her mouth on their strap-on even though Olivia couldn't feel it... well, Alex had never really 'suggested' it, she had just gone and done it, and the visual stimulation and pressure between her legs had brought her closer to the razor's edge than she had imagined – just as they were doing now.

Having made her point, Alex gave the toy's flared head one last kiss before she trailed it down the side of her throat and circled one breast, making sure to keep her legs spread in order to offer her lover the best possible view. When she finally moved back between her thighs, Olivia temporarily forgot how to breathe. And when Alex switched it on, letting the low hum accompany the rhythmic pulsing of the orchestra in the background, Olivia suddenly remembered that her body needed air and started gasping.

Every image, every small detail enraptured and enthralled her, building her need higher. Alex's touches were rough, possessive, coaxing, just as she imagined Olivia's might be. Her breath hitched and she let out a soft mewl as the first inch of the rabbit slid inside of her, making the muscles of her thighs jump. Olivia groaned, squeezing with her hand and biting furiously at her lower lip, forcing her eyes to stay open even though they were starting to burn. She was afraid to blink, unwilling to miss a single moment.

When the entire toy was fully embedded, Alex gave it a little extra shove, letting her hips take the pressure and sighing as the extension made small, tight circles over the bundle of nerves straining to be touched.

And then she started thrusting – Oh God, thrusting – dragging it in and out, rocking her hips to meet each press. Her blonde hair came out of its loose knot as the back of her head rubbed against the pillows, tumbling over her shoulders in a cascade, and it only made her look more desperate, more wild, more needy.

But the best part. The best part was that she was mouthing Olivia's name.

When the orchestra built up to a final fortissimo, cymbals crashing, Alex's body stiffened, her muscles locking up tight as the shuddering pulses of her orgasm ripped through her, tearing down the last of her defenses and finally making her scream. And it was the most beautiful sound Olivia had ever heard, because she knew it was for her. Just the sight of Alex's release was enough to trigger her own, and she finally gave in to temptation and closed her eyes for the briefest moment, her body overcome with sharp, stabs of pleasure. She did not need to see – the image of her lover's climax was seared into her mind and memory.

The music's final chord melted away, leaving only the gentle hum of the toy as Alex's body twitched with aftershocks and soft, contented murmurs of pleasure. It took both of them a while to recover, and Olivia was grateful that Alex had not edited this part out – piecing herself back together, relaxing in the warm glow of the gift she had just shared.

Suddenly remembering where she was and what she was doing, Alex seemed to come back to herself, adjusting her crooked glasses and giving Olivia a bright, beaming smile. "I hope you got as much pleasure out of that as I did," she said. The detective caught the small movement of her hand and read the thought as it crossed Alex's mind. She was feeling a little exposed, a little raw, and was thinking about covering herself, and Olivia was touched when she didn't, leaving all of her glorious nakedness open for her lover.

"I love you..." After those quiet, sincere words, murmured in Alex's familiar, breathless alto voice, the video file cut to a close up of her lover's face. Alex was still topless, but she was wearing a fresh blue thong and her hair was pulled back again. "Hope you feel a little better now, baby," she cooed, blowing Olivia a kiss over the tips of her fingers. "I'll be home and back in your arms soon." For a moment, the unguarded expression of loneliness on Alex's face made Olivia's heart stutter, and she wanted to reach through the computer and hug her.

But soon, the 'I-miss-you' expression was replaced by a 'this-is-me-being-serious' expression, one that Olivia was very familiar with. She automatically straightened in her chair, hissing a little as her fingers brushed over still sensitive flesh. "I trust you with everything I am, Olivia, and I know you would never show this to anyone _..._ but this is just a friendly warning: if you ever utter a word about the existence of this video to _anybody,_ even as a joke, and _especially_ to Munch or Abbie Carmichael, you won't be having sex with me again for the rest of your natural life. Because they _will_ look for it."

After a brief pause to allow Olivia to digest the threat, Alex's shy smile returned. "I know I said it before, but I love you... bye..."

For just a moment, Olivia felt crushed and utterly alone as the image of Alex froze, coming to the end of the video. But she perked up immediately after she realized that she could always watch it again. And again. And again...


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve:**

It was shaping up to be a really tough day for Olivia as she stared down at the unresponsive face of Joan Arliss, the woman she had hoped to interview. Her skin was a sallow pale color with streaks of yellow, but she didn't seem to be experiencing any stress. She was clean and looked relatively well cared for. The detective sighed, shaking her head slightly. Her job tended to make her pessimistic about children, the elderly, and the handicapped. She was always alert, checking for signs of abuse even when there weren't any.

The laundry cart case had spiraled into a decades-long serial killing spree that she wasn't technically supposed to be investigating. Fin had helped track down the owner of an engagement ring that they had discovered in Gambel's little trophy box by going through old police reports, but apparently, the victim wasn't able to give her any more information.

Vivian Arliss, Joan's daughter and caretaker, looked up from where she was wiping her hands on a white towel, pulling Olivia from her thoughts. She looked old beyond her years, perhaps because of stress, and she had several very visible tattoos. "And you're her sole caregiver?" Olivia asked.

Feeling where Olivia's gaze lingered, Vivian said, "what, you think because of the ink I can't take care of her? You should have seen me before I sobered up. I was a wreck."

"Sorry, I just meant that taking care of an invalid is a lot of work." Although Olivia had never had to care for someone as dependent as Joan Arliss appeared to be, she had been forced to help look after her alcoholic mother when she was just a child. Sometimes, the burden and the memories still weighed heavily on her.

"When my Dad died, I promised him that I would keep her at home for as long as I could, so I do it for him." For a moment, Olivia felt a flash of pain as she saw the smile spreading across Vivian Arliss' thin lips. Obviously, she cherished the memory of her father and remembered him with great affection. Olivia could only give Vivian a silent nod of approval. After a pause, Vivian asked, "what did you want to talk to her about?"

"We recovered your mother's engagement ring." Olivia reached into her coat pocket, pulling out a plastic bag. Vivian's eyes followed the crinkling noise, focusing on the engagement band inside.

Vivan shook her head. "I'm sorry. You must have the wrong Joan Arliss. She has hers on."

"Um, she probably replaced it. This was stolen forty years ago."

Olivia watched cautiously as Vivian took a step backwards, shaking her head in disbelief. "Really? She never said anything about it..." They both turned to look at Joan, who was still resting silently in her bed, hands folded comfortably over the sheets. The new engagement ring glinted on her finger as it caught the light coming in through the open window. "Boy, you robbery cops never give up, do you? That's a long time. Why did you go through all the trouble to track her down?"

Olivia tried not to let her discomfort show on her face. A tight, coiling fear was beginning to burn in her gut, and she had a feeling that she had just opened up a door that she wouldn't be able to close. Glancing nervously to her left, she decided to make her escape before she made things worse. Forty years ago... Vivian Arliss looked to be about forty years old... "I think I've made a mistake. I've taken up enough of your time." Her mind was racing as she turned to leave the room, going through all of the possibilities. Perhaps this was a secret that was meant to stay hidden... If Joan Arliss had been attacked, if this was her engagement ring, could Vivian be the result? Part of her didn't want to know, and part of her was terrified of not knowing. She could only imagine what Vivian might be thinking.

"Hey, wait..." She ignored Vivian's voice calling after her as she walked down the front steps, forcing herself not to look back. "Hey, Detective... Wait! What's going on?" Olivia finally turned as Vivian followed her out of the house, approaching her car. "Did something happen to my mother?"

"I was just tracing back the ring," said Olivia, brushing the anxious woman's questions aside.

"To what?" Vivian said sharply, refusing to give up. Olivia reached into her pocket, trying to pull out her keys, but ended up letting them fall back into her coat. "You're hiding something, Detective. Tell me."

Parting her lips and taking a deep breath, Olivia turned back to face Vivian Arliss. "Vivian, I'm not a robbery detective. I'm with Special Victims Unit. And your mother's ring was recovered during a recent rape and murder investigation."

Vivian's brow tightened with concern as she tried to make sense of that information. "So the victim had my mom's ring?"

"Her attacker did," Olivia corrected. She turned her head to one side, unable to meet Vivian's confused, hurt-filled eyes. "Sometimes men take a souvenir from the assault–"

"Wait," Vivian interrupted. "Whose attacker? My mom's? My mom's attacker?" Olivia didn't answer. "My Mom was raped." It was a statement, not a question. "When?"

Olivia had been expecting that question next, and so she was prepared with the answer. "In February of 1970."

"1970," Vivian repeated. With an angry growl, she whirled around and headed back into the house, muttering to herself. "I was born in November of 1970... So that was nine months..." Olivia put it together in an instant, but nothing made sense anymore. If Gambel Jr. was their rapist and trophy collector, Vivian was too old to be his child and Joan was too old to be his victim. Could Gambel Sr. have started the collection before passing it on to his son? She squinted, trying to determine whether Vivian looked anything like Gambel...

What if it wasn't Gambel? There were other ways he could have gotten the box. Any rapist could have passed it to him. Olivia took a deep breath, trying to remember. What other trophies had been in the collection? A bracelet... a ring... a handkerchief...? _A handkerchief._ Her own mother had always carried a handkerchief. Always. Even on the night she was raped.

Suddenly, Olivia found herself studying Vivian Arliss for an entirely different reason. She and Vivian were the same age. Did they look alike? What if...

Both of them tensed as a sound shattered the awkward moment. A boy with brown hair and a yellow T-shirt was bouncing a basketball on the sidewalk, running around the side of the house from the backyard. "Mom!" he said, calling out to Vivian with a big smile.

When he approached her for a hug, the startled Vivian slapped the ball away, watching it roll to a stop on the grass of the front lawn. "Stop!" She closed her eyes, tension radiating from her body as she headed back into the house, slamming the door behind her. "Just... stop!"

It was only when Vivian was gone that the boy seemed to notice Olivia at all. He whirled on her with accusing eyes, his face angry and betrayed. "What did you do to my Mom?"

Olivia stepped away from the car, reaching out a hand, keeping her arm close to her body so that she wouldn't appear threatening. The kid was obviously upset, and she didn't want to do anything to agitate him. Sometimes, years of working with angry, scared, and abused children came in handy. "She's going to be okay," Olivia said gently. "She just... She just got some bad news and so she's a little bit upset."

Vivian's son stared at the ground, kicking his sneaker on the sidewalk in anger. "She's going to have another one of her headaches." Turning away from Olivia, he walked back the way he had come, following the line of the white picket fence. The detective let her eyes close. They suddenly felt heavy, and her shoulders slumped a little. How many times had she made that same excuse for her own mother?

"She never wants me around," he mumbled glumly. "That's why her pills make her feel better."

Staring at the boy's retreating back, Olivia knew what she had to do. This family was hurting, and she had obviously disrupted whatever fragile peace existed with her bad news.

...

Dr. George Huang leaned forwards on his desk, studying Olivia Benson with intense dark eyes as he tried to choose his words. "You think that Vivian Arliss is your half-sister?"

"Everything matches," Olivia protested, determined to make her case to the skeptical-looking psychologist. "After I told her about the ring, I found her drinking in the back yard and asked some questions. Both of our mothers went to the same college. They were attacked around the same time. Vivian's mother even looks like mine. She has dark hair, she's tall, she's thin... Lots of rapists have a type."

Huang shook his head, still not convinced. "The possibility is so remote..."

"We couldn't identify one of the trophies in Gambel's box," Olivia went on, ignoring him. "It was a handkerchief. My mother always carried one. What if it's hers?" The frightened question, uttered on an unsure breath, forced Olivia to break eye contact with Huang. She glanced at the wall instead, remembering.

"I wish that you had come and talked to me right after the shooting."

"I'm not imagining these details." Olivia leaned back into the chair across from Huang's desk, folding her arms over her chest and sending him a frustrated glare.

"Maybe so, but you're associating them in ways that aren't rational. Why did you tell Vivian about her mother?"

Olivia stared at him as though he had grown three heads. "I had no choice!" What did Huang think she was, crazy? Vivian had followed her out to her car and insisted that she explain herself. Did she really have a right to keep the information secret once she put the pieces together? "She demanded to know why I was there."

"Nobody forced you to tell her."

"She had to know..."

"Or did you do it for yourself?" Olivia was deliberately silent, refusing to answer the question. She didn't have an answer to give anyway. "Have you talked to Alex about any of this?"

That question was not any easier to respond to, but she tried. "No," Olivia admitted. "There hasn't been time. Besides, I'm sure she's busy... saving the world and stuff..."

"I think you should." Logically, Olivia knew that keeping all of these recent developments from her girlfriend was unwise. Emotionally, she didn't want to deal with any of it. "How are you coping with her absence, Olivia?"

"Badly," the detective admitted. "I roll over in bed and... she's not there. Then I can't fall back asleep. It's... I don't know. My life feels gray everywhere." Although the sentence seemed to make more sense in her head, Dr. Huang nodded as though he understood. Olivia wasn't sure whether he did or not. She did know one thing, however. Alex _would_ understand. After this appointment, she had a phone call to make.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen:**

Sitting at her desk, Olivia stared somberly down at the two pictures in her hand. One was of a young, angry looking woman named Vivian Arliss. The other was Olivia's biological father, Joe Hollister. He was smiling. Sometimes that smile haunted her, and she wondered if she had inherited it. Her interview with Huang left a lot of questions racing around her mind, and she was no closer to finding answers. Most of her life had been spent seeking the answers to her questions, and sometimes she wondered what the point was.

She heard footsteps behind her, but didn't react. "Liv, it's not possible," came Elliot Stabler's deep voice as he finally approached, closing the last few feet of distance between them and standing at her shoulder.

"Yes, it is." The papers rustled as she lowered them back to the surface of her desk. "Look at Vivian, then at my father. There's a physical resemblance. My father was a junkie, and Vivian grew up to be one, too." She reached up to massage the strained muscles in her throat with her right hand. For some reason, her entire body felt sore and exhausted.

"You grew up to be a cop, so..."

Olivia ignored Elliot's attempt to comfort her. "We could get our DNA tested." Reaching into a drawer, the detective pulled out a bag with a crumpled can, showing it to her partner. "I went back to Vivian's and I grabbed this out of her garbage." She passed the evidence bag to Elliot before looking away.

"Liv, there's no way Jason Gambel crossed paths with your old man. He died fifteen years ago."

Olivia chewed on her lower lip, shaking her head and slapping her palm down on her desk in frustration. She reached for the two photographs – perhaps the photographs of her only remaining family – and tossed them aside.

Reaching back to stretch her shoulder, she leaned back in her chair and placed both hands above her head. Elliot leaned on her desk, perching there much like Alex Cabot had years earlier. Not quite as pretty, maybe, but at least he was there for her. Joe Hollister wasn't her family. He didn't deserve that title. And Vivian Arliss was still an unknown. But Elliot? He was her family. Her partner was like a brother to her. And Alex was the person she loved most in the entire world. That had to mean she was family. She did have a brother, Simon, even though their relationship was strained and awkward. And what about Abbie? Serena? John and Fin were her friends, too. Maybe she had more family than she thought.

"Okay, so maybe you're right. It is possible that somebody else gave Gambel those trophies, but what's the connection?" She just couldn't understand how a trophy from a rape case over forty years old had gotten into Gambel's hands. If it wasn't her father, then who?

"Gambel is scared to death of going back to prison. Why?"

Olivia gasped as Elliot's realization suddenly hit her. "His last cell mate." She stood up to join her partner. "How about if you and I try and track down a name?"

...

"Doesn't Meatball's Strip Club sound like a gay bar to you?" Elliot asked, forcing his eyes to take in the strippers working the poles in the dim blue light. He didn't want to look at them, but he figured it would seem odd for a man to enter a strip club without checking out the half-naked chicks gyrating on stage. Strippers weren't really his thing. Too many unpleasant associations.

He and Olivia were both slightly uncomfortable in this environment, not sure what to expect. Jason Gambel's credit card had gotten a hit here, and Cragen gave them the go-ahead to follow up. However, before they left, Olivia and Elliot had printed out the name and criminal record of Jason's last cellmate – a guy by the name of Walter Burlock. He was the right age, and according to his sheet, had just been released from prison. If their suspicions were right and Burlock had given Gambel the box of trophies, he could easily be using Gambel's credit card as well. A strip club like Meatball's seemed more in line with Walter Burlock's tastes than the timid Gambel's anyway.

"It does sound like a gay bar," Olivia said, sounding amused about something for the first time in days. "Not that I've been to a lot of those," she added.

"I'm sure you haven't been to a lot of bars like this," Elliot said. "Hopefully, you picked up your dates at higher class places than this joint."

"Well, does the DA's office count?" Olivia quipped.

Elliot smiled, glad to see his partner's sense of humor returning. "Alex doesn't count as one of your regular dates," he said. "She's your girl."

"The only dates I'm allowed to have nowadays are with you," Olivia said. "Alex makes damn sure of that."

"Just don't tell my wife, partner." Adjusting his tie, Elliot and Olivia ambled up to the bar. "Walter Burlock?" he asked the bartender. According to the computer guys, Burlock had shared a cell with Gambel for five years and was released from prison two weeks ago. He hadn't checked in with his parole officer or registered as a sex offender, either.

"Yeah," said the bartender, wiping out a glass with a white rag. "Been runnin' a tab all night."

As Olivia turned to look over her shoulder and case the room for any possible threats, Elliot took the credit card that the bartender passed him. "We were right. He's been using Gambel's credit card." He held it up to show Olivia.

"Where is he?"

The bartender stopped working for a moment to point. "Over there, gettin' a lapdance from Tanya."

Rolling her eyes, Olivia followed Elliot as he strolled confidently through the room, heading straight towards the man in the baseball cap that the bartender had pointed at. Noticing the detectives heading towards them and sensing trouble, the blonde girl servicing Burlock left his lap, covering her breasts and fixing her miniskirt as she headed for safer ground.

"Hey!" Burlock said, reaching out a large hand. "I already paid you! Get back here, bitch!"

Elliot interrupted, putting his own hand in the middle Burlock's back and shoving him face first onto the seat, restraining him with a firm grip to the neck. "Ow! What the hell are you doin'! Get off my back."

As Elliot kept Burlock pinned, Olivia pulled out her cuffs with a grim smile on her face. "Ya like bracelets as trophies?" she said, letting the handcuffs lock in place with a satisfying click. "Try these."

...

"Come on, sweetie, pick up," Olivia mumbled, tapping her foot impatiently as she stalked around the crib holding her cell phone to her ear. Waiting for Alex to pick up seemed like the longest few seconds of her life. Finally, there was a click and a relieved voice came through the earpiece.

"Liv, thank God. You haven't called in a while. Where have you been? Is it a case?"

Olivia sighed, hanging her head and sinking onto one of the used beds that she had been sleeping in. Going back to Alex's apartment hurt too much. Besides, she had been afraid of what she would find. Both Alex and Abbie had left several messages on her phone asking her to call them, but she had been consumed by this latest disaster for the past day and a half. This was the first quiet space of time she had found to herself, except for the brief moments when she had been left reeling with disturbing thoughts and questions.

"Yeah," Olivia answered, "a case. Alex, honey, we need to talk." Her hands were shaking, but she remembered Huang's advice. Talking to Alex would do her good. She needed a chance to explain.

There was a brief silence on the other line. "Okay. May I say one thing first?"

"Go ahead."

"I love you."

Immediately, Olivia's muscles relaxed, switching out of 'cop mode' as she talked to her lover. "I love you, too." Alex waited, ready to listen. "Remember how we found that box of trophies a little while ago that we matched to several rape victims?"

The attorney nodded, realized Olivia couldn't hear her, and spoke up. "Yes."

"Well, the guy with the box, Gambel, had a cell mate in prison named Burlock. We picked him up, but couldn't pin any of the rapes on him, either." Olivia closed her eyes and hung her head, pressing the phone tightly to her cheek. Now came the hard part. "And... well... before that, I tracked a ring from the box to a woman named Joan Arliss."

Although Alex's prosecutorial experience and sharp mind allowed her to keep the characters in Olivia's story straight, she was still confused. "None of this sounds like anything out of routine for you, Olivia. What's wrong?"

"Joan Arliss had a daughter named Vivian. She's like me, conceived through rape."

"And she reminded you of yourself?"

"More than that. Before we found out about Burlock, I thought she was my sister. There was a resemblance. Our mothers went to the same university and were raped about the same time."

On the other end of the connection, Alex gasped. "You thought she was your... but she's not, right? I know about your brother, Simon, but–"

"No, she's not. Like I said, this guy Burlock is the one who raped Vivian's mother. But we had to let him go. She's got a kid, Alex... Calvin. His name is Calvin and his mom's a junkie... I see Vivian and think, what if I had become like that? And I see that boy's eyes and remember how awful it was every time my mother looked for herself in the bottom of a bottle of bourbon or Jack Daniels."

Alex chewed on her lip, feeling helpless to comfort Olivia from so far away. If she was in New York, she would know what to do. She would take Olivia in her arms and hold her close, kissing her hair and murmuring endearments. She would tuck Olivia in bed and lie down next to her, even make love if that was what Olivia needed, but all the way in Africa, she had no clue how to help. Her lover was hurting, and she couldn't do anything.

"Olivia, I'm going to tell you something you probably don't want to hear."

The detective raised her eyebrows. "Something I don't want to hear?"

Alex could hear the question in Olivia's voice, and she clarified her statement. "First of all, I'm coming home in two weeks."

"That's something I very much want to hear."

"You didn't let me finish. I'm coming home in two weeks, but until then, I need you to remember that this isn't your problem."

Olivia's head shot up. She immediately went on the defensive. "What do you mean, this isn't my problem?"

"I told you that you wouldn't want to hear this," Alex reminded her. "Hear me out. It's horrible that Vivian's mother was raped. It's also horrible that you had to cut this guy Burlock loose. It's horrible that Vivian is a junkie and probably an alcoholic, and it's horrible that her son has to deal with the consequences of her choices. But it's not your fault, and it's not your problem."

"Of course it's my problem, Alex," Olivia snapped. "Their lives are falling apart around them, and it's my job–"

"Exactly. It's your job. So do your job. Try and get Vivian help. Check in on Calvin to make sure he isn't being abused or neglected, and report his mother if you have to. Try and find more evidence against Burlock so you can put him away. Guys like him never stop, and they always leave a trail behind. But Olivia, you can't save the whole world. Do your job, and once you've done what you can, you need to forget about it, go home, and get some real sleep. You have your own life to live."

"The bed is too big." The loneliness in Olivia's voice pierced through her heart like the blade of a knife. Her chest physically ached. She had been expecting more anger, but not overwhelming sadness.

"I know," Alex whispered regretfully. "So is mine."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen:**

"Explain this to me again," Serena said, throwing one arm over her forehead and staring at the ceiling. "Explain to me why, exactly, you dragged me in to Alex's bedroom as soon as we walked in the door, started kissing me, took off my shirt and pants, pinned me to the bed, and then told me we probably shouldn't have sex."

The evening had started out passionately. Dinner was romantic. The off-Broadway show was colorful and thought provoking. The bottle of wine they shared afterward (courtesy of Alex) was excellent. Talking and hand holding led to kissing, clothes were removed, and to Serena, it seemed like she and Abbie were about to reestablish their physical connection. But the tall Texan had stopped her, asking to be held for a moment and quietly confessing that she wasn't sure if having sex was a good idea yet.

Abbie didn't know how to explain, because she wasn't quite sure of the answer, either. "Well, I can answer the part about Alex's bedroom. I figured thinking about how pissed she would be if she knew we were in here would act as a deterrent."

Serena saw the joke for the avoidance it was. "Abbie..."

"I want to, Serena. I really want to. I think we're ready, but how do I know for sure?" With her cheek still resting on Serena's stomach, Abbie wondered how she had gotten to this point. Over the years, the federal prosecutor had found herself in sexual situations for a variety of reasons. She had sex when a partner was readily available. She had sex when she was bored. She had sex because it was fun. She had sex because her body desired it.

But in all her experience, she couldn't remember having sex because she was in love.

She sighed. "You know I've been seeing a therapist?" It was a rhetorical question, because both of them knew that Serena hadn't known. However, she managed to hide her surprise.

"You have?"

"Yeah," Abbie confirmed hesitantly. "I think it's helping. The last two times I tried therapy, I ended up banging the therapist, so it's probably lucky that this one's a good ol' boy. No temptation if there's the wrong parts."

Serena wasn't surprised, but she didn't seem disappointed either, which was a minor relief to Abbie. She buried her face in Serena's stomach, feeling the ACLU lawyer's voice vibrate in the cavity of her chest. "Doesn't that violate the sanctity of the doctor-patient relationship or something?"

"Serena, I've done a lot of things I regret. Sex was my way of coping. Yeah, I had sex with two of my therapists. I've done random strangers in dance clubs. I've had sex for promotions at work–"

Abbie felt the body beneath her flinch. "Please tell me you never had sex with Jack McCoy."

That coaxed a small smile from the concerned Texan. "You know I haven't. First of all, he's a man. Second of all, he's... well, he's _Jack._ Even if he was a gorgeous woman and not completely stuck on Claire after all these years instead of a grumpy old man, I still wouldn't touch our Jack with a ten-foot pole. His charming personality works better than any bug spray. Even the mosquitoes are afraid of gettin' too close."

Serena giggled, breaking some of the tension. " _Our_ Jack? And are we really going to talk about McCoy in our underwear?" she asked.

"Yeah, I guess we are." Abbie decided to continue. She didn't know when she would work up the courage to give this speech again. "I can remember tossing out a pity fuck if a female friend was hard up. I've had sex on dares or bets, for winning and losing at cards, and to manipulate people. Up until these last few months, I had sex whenever I was angry, stressed, happy, drunk, or... too haunted by memories of college to stand being alone."

"I wish you would tell me what happened..."

Abbie closed her eyes. "You're smart. Don't tell me you haven't figured it out after all these years, Ser."

"You're right." It was the elephant in the room. The topic Serena tiptoed around, afraid to broach such a personal subject with someone as flighty and inconsistent as Abbie had proven herself to be until recently. Over the years, she had seen the signs, but felt helpless and confused whenever she tried to figure out how to help. "I know you were sexually assaulted, but–"

"Did Jack tell you, or was it Alex? Or did you just guess?"

Serena sighed. "No one told me directly. I picked up a comment here or there... it wasn't hard to put the puzzle together. Why does Alex know?" Honestly, Serena felt a little hurt that Abbie had trusted Alex enough to talk about her past, but not her.

"Because I had a nightmare and she heard me screaming my fool head off after too many drinks."

Serena reached down, stroking Abbie's hair as the prosecutor rested against her bare stomach. "I know you were sexually assaulted, but I don't need to know the details unless you want me to listen. I'm more interested in knowing how you felt, what you think of yourself now, and how I can help." That was not the answer Abbie had been expecting. Even Alex had tentatively tried to pry details from her after making sure that her friend was calm again. She supposed that Alex couldn't help it. She was a sex crimes prosecutor, after all, used to grilling both victims and perps on the stand. But Serena's quiet, gentle acceptance and sympathy overwhelmed her.

"You help me just by being here," Abbie said. "I used to have sex because it filled the quiet spaces in my head. Didn't give me any time to think." She lifted her head, meeting Serena's eyes. "I was date raped in college by a nice boy I thought was my friend. I was a virgin at the time. Planned on gettin' married before I had sex, too." Abbie gave a self-deprecating snort. "You can see how well that turned out."

Serena knew enough about loss to realize that no words would help Abbie now. The emotional wound had scarred over as the years passed, but it still pained her. She had no understanding, no frame of reference, but her instincts told her to pull Abbie into her arms and hold on tight.

"They never did anything," came Abbie's quiet voice from somewhere near her shoulder. "It was his word against mine. I said I didn't want it. He said I was a lying slut. I stared to believe it. That was probably the lowest point of my life... until I realized what I had thrown away. It brought everything back."

"I'm here." Holding Abbie's cheeks in her hands, Serena leaned in for a soft, gentle brush of lips. "I'm here for whatever you need."

Somehow, the kisses became deeper and more passionate. Abbie wasn't sure how it happened, but her hands gripped Serena's hips as she left a string of kisses along the blonde's jaw, enjoying the salty-sweet taste of her skin. "I don't... think I can stop this time..." she whimpered, amazed at how helpless her own voice sounded to her ears.

Serena's eyes were glazed over, and she was beyond caring. "God, Abbie, you don't have to stop... I want you."

That made Abbie's sore heart swell with pride. Serena wanted her. Even after she had gotten all teary-eyed and mushy on her, Serena still wanted to touch her, be with her, love her. The unconditional trust and acceptance was like a strong drug. It made Abbie's head spin. Her own need was burning bright, but she could tell that Serena needed this even more than she did, not just physically, but emotionally as well.

"Serena, may I – please...?"

The blonde hissed in response, clearly wanting more, but not sure how to articulate it. Finally, she took hold of Abbie's hands with her own trembling ones, bringing them to her waist so that they could ease the strings of her cotton underwear down together. Somehow, even though they had done this before, everything felt completely different. It was new and a little frightening, but also wonderful.

Not wanting to rush things, Abbie began lavishing attention on Serena's breasts with her hands and mouth, trying to express just how much she wanted and adored the slender woman beneath her. Maybe the words caught in her throat sometimes, but there was more than one way to say 'I love you'. After how long she had waited, Serena deserved to have those words however Abbie could give them.

As she kissed in a half circle around one of Serena's tight nipples, Abbie let her hands wander down her lover's flat stomach, tracing hearts and circles as she went. Serena's skin was so soft and warm that it made her palms tingle and ache.

"Abbie... Abbie, please..."

"Please what? Whatever you want, love. Anything."

Kissing up along her throat, Abbie bit down the way she remembered that Serena enjoyed. The blonde lawyer's neck was extremely sensitive, and she loved having it rubbed, kissed, or nipped. Abbie enjoyed the sounds she made when she used her teeth and savored the way that the brief pain made Serena press tighter against her. When she finally ended her lazy trail up along the column of Serena's throat, Abbie stopped at her lips. Releasing the kiss, they paused for a moment while Abbie's hands re-learned a beautiful pair of long, silky legs.

"I want your mouth on me," Serena finally had the courage to beg.

The dark-haired attorney was helpless to resist her lover's pleas. Without lingering too long, she worked her way back down Serena's naked form, pausing to kiss her fingertips and nuzzle the insides of her elbows, sucking briefly at the tips of both breasts, and circling her navel.

Abbie nipped at each protruding hipbone before settling between her lover's thighs, her heart pounding so loudly over their heavy breathing that it echoed in her ears. She was nervous, but also enthralled as she spread Serena's legs. Carefully, she lowered her mouth to waiting sweetness. The taste was familiar, but completely new and exciting at the same time. For a moment, she was too overwhelmed to do anything but press soft kisses to Serena's outer lips, all of her technique and experience leaving her completely.

Nuzzling deeper and soaking in the needy whimpers coming from the slender woman above her, she racked her brain for anything she could remember about their previous times together, all those years ago... _Slow. She likes it slow. Circles around her opening –_

Relieved that her short-circuiting brain had a piece of information to latch on to, she let instinct take over.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen:**

Abbie panted heavily, her chest rising and falling, skin glistening with sweat. Serena continued tracing the shape of her mouth with soft, pointed kisses, her hand cupped protectively between the Federal prosecutor's legs. She still had two fingers buried deep inside of Abbie's warmth, and Abbie could feel Serena's wetness where the blonde lawyer had been rocking frantically against her thigh.

"Are we still alive?" Serena teased, letting Abbie feel the formation of the words on her lips.

"Dunno," the Texan slurred. "Ya mighta killed me. Sure feels like heaven."

Serena chuckled softly. "Sweet talker." Gently withdrawing her fingers, she settled down to rest against Abbie's shoulder, holding her lover's naked body close and soaking in as much warmth as she could from her skin. "Abs?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Thank you..." Serena had been prepared to say more, but the rest of her words deserted her as she looked into endless brown eyes. Instead, she pressed kisses to each of Abbie's dimples and the cute cleft at the center of her chin, hoping that was enough to convey her message.

"Thanks for what, sugar?" Abbie drawled, still curious.

"Thank you for being here with me right now... just the two of us. Before, it always seemed like you were running from something or running to something, maybe both, but in this moment, you're really _with_ me. Does that make any sense?"

Abbie nodded and bent down to kiss the crown of Serena's head. "Perfect sense, darlin'."

Stretching her arms over her head to get the kinks out of her shoulders, Abbie forced a reluctant Serena to abandon her comfortable resting spot. "Hey, little lady, how 'bout I go get us each a glass of wine before bed while you hop in the shower and wash your hair." She smiled teasingly at her lover. "You'll hate yourself in the mornin' if you don't get some conditioner in it tonight."

Serena sat up beside the brunette and gave her another soft peck on the lips. Even though they had only just rekindled the physical part of their relationship, emotionally, it felt like they had already been intimate for years. In a way, they had been, although their contact had been sporadic since their first break-up. "It'll be the fastest shower in the history of the universe, I promise."

"Red, I assume?"

"You don't have to dig out more of Alex's good wine. I'm sure Olivia has some beers in the fridge." The ACLU attorney turned and set her feet on the floor, revealing her naked back to Abbie's hungry gaze. She turned to smile at the Texan over her shoulder and winked saucily. "Unless you'd prefer to join me in the shower..."

"Change of plans," Abbie said, hurrying to follow Serena into the bathroom. "I share a shower with you, then we go and finish off the bottle of wine we already opened."

Serena reached out, taking her equally naked girlfriend's hand as they headed into the master bathroom. "Hmm. Looks like you've got yourself a deal, Cowgirl."

...

Olivia tapped lightly on the window of the squad car, two cups of coffee in hand, one for her and one for Elliot. "Can't believe you have to walk six blocks to get a decent cup of coffee in Brooklyn," she muttered as Elliot reached over to unlock the passenger's side. She slid in beside him, passing him his cup.

The police had been sitting on Burlock at Jason Gambel's residence since his release yesterday afternoon, and after an uncomfortable night in the crib, Olivia and Elliot were there to personally take a shift. No one wanted to give the scumbag the opportunity to commit another crime. Pushing thoughts of her own role in Burlock's release aside, Olivia closed the door behind her to keep in the heat.

"The last Uni said Burlock went in at 5 PM yesterday and hasn't left since."

"Fin texted me. He's got eyes on Gambel at a local hotel," Olivia added.

Elliot raised his eyebrows. "Kicking a guy out of his own house?" He pressed his lips together, shaking his head. "Says a lot about the kind of hold Burlock has over him." Adjusting his tie, Elliot took a sip of his warm coffee, grateful for the pick-me-up in the middle of a long day.

The moment of silence was interrupted by Fin's voice over the radio. "Gambel's on his way back home, comin' round the corner."

"Well, either Gambel suddenly grew a pair, or Burlock ordered him here." Elliot's expression made it clear which of the two options he considered most likely. Jason Gambel was a coward through and through. He set his coffee back down and gripped the handle of the driver's side door, preparing to jump out if necessary. "Should be interesting."

As they watched through the front windshield, Gambel suddenly appeared from behind a parked car, his shoulders hunched as though he was expecting a blow, glancing around nervously from side to side. He huddled in front of the door to his house, passing right by Olivia and Elliot without a second glance and reaching down to insert his key.

The two detectives watched as he slipped into the dark interior of the building, closing the door behind him. "You think Burlock called Gambel to go on the prowl again?" Olivia asked doubtfully.

Elliot shrugged, nonplussed. "When you get the itch, call your bitch."

"I hope they leave soon. I can't wait to put Burlock away."

Before Elliot could agree, the door to Gambel's building swung open again. The same frightened man exited, looking dazed as he stumbled down the steps and onto the sidewalk. Olivia gasped, her eyes widening as she saw the bloody handprints covering Gambel's blue collared shirt. His fingers were coated in blood as well, and he had obviously clutched his hand to his chest in surprise or fear.

Without even pausing to look at each other for confirmation, both detectives opened their doors and rushed out of the car. "Gambel, don't move," Elliot ordered as they drew their guns in sync, jogging towards the building.

Gambel held up his crimson-stained hands, not even trying to find an avenue of escape. When Olivia came closer, she could see the emptiness in his blank stare. Gambel clearly wasn't all there, if he had ever been in the first place. "He's dead," the young man said, waving at Elliot's chest. "There's blood everywhere..."

Elliot swallowed, and only Olivia could hear the tension in his throat muscles as he forced out a gruff response. "Thanks for helpin' us out." While Elliot held up the nose of his gun and breeched the doorway, Olivia put a hand on Gambel's back and shepherded him towards the car, not wanting him to escape. If Burlock was really dead, Jason Gambel was their prime suspect, and he needed to be taken into custody before he went loony on someone else's ass.

' _Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy,'_ she thought to herself as she noticed that Fin's black, unmarked car had pulled up behind them. Relieved that she wouldn't have to take Gambel in alone, she kept her hand on his arm as Fin stepped out of the vehicle. "Fin, arrest him for the murder of Walter Burlock."

"Guess ya whacked him good," Fin said, reading the utter shock in Olivia's expression and cuffing Gambel's wrists. He gestured for her to go in and give Elliot back-up as he put a hand on Gambel's head and forced him into the back of the squad car, reciting his Miranda rights.

Olivia didn't notice. She had already entered the house, gun drawn in case she ran into trouble. "El?" she called out, passing through the entryway and heading deeper into the building, "you there?"

"Kitchen, Liv. Gambel was right. The bastard's dead."

Following the sound of Elliot's voice, she hurried into the kitchen, ignoring the trash on the chairs, tables, and the surface of the counter. Walter Burlock's body was crumpled in a heap on the floor. Thick black blood pooled around his head, matting the gray hair on the back of his crushed skull. A slightly dented frying pan rested above his head, along with a lonely looking black baseball cap, the same one he had been wearing at the strip club where they picked him up.

Despite the hatred she harbored towards Burlock for the lives he had ruined, Olivia couldn't help but frown at the display of gruesome violence. No matter how many cases she worked, it never got easier. At least Burlock deserved it. She couldn't say she felt sorry for him, even if the condition of the body made her grit her teeth a little to ease the uncomfortable tossing of her stomach.

"Looks like Gambel blitzed him," she said, walking around the body and examining it as Elliot moved to stand beside her.

"Definitely hit him with a cast iron more than once. Lotta rage."

Olivia snorted. "Gambel fits that description," she said sarcastically. She eyed the crime scene, noticing the blood spatter on the clean white refrigerator and stained wooden cabinets.

"Who're you trying to kid, Liv? The blood is congealed and starting to crust. That body's been there for hours."

Olivia shook her head, unwilling to believe what both of them were thinking. "Vivian couldn't have done this... Her first priority is Calvin."

Elliot was doubtful. "Doesn't mean she couldn't have come here last night."

"Gambel could have left his hotel unnoticed, come back here, killed him, and then come back again today to discover the body.

"Or Vivian could have come here last night, batted her eyelashes, and then batted him with the first thing she saw." Elliot turned to glance over his shoulder at the murder weapon. "A pan on the stove."


	16. Chapter 16

**Part Four**

 **Chapter Sixteen:**

Exiting the elevator with her usual brisk stride, Olivia was surprised to run into her partner on the second floor where their desks were. It was late, and most of the lights were dimmed, but they didn't hide the detective's disappointment. Her brief trip to Vivian Arliss' house had been useless. If she had killed Burlock, she was in the wind now, and it was too late to find her.

Taking one look at her dejected expression, Elliot knew what had happened. "Lemme guess, Vivian wasn't home?"

"Did she call?"

"No, and she's not gonna." Olivia had to force herself not to snap at her partner as she matched his pace, following him around the corner to where their desks and paperwork were waiting.

"How do you know?" she demanded.

Elliot didn't answer right away. Instead, he jerked his head in the direction of Olivia's workspace. Instead of the empty area that she had expected, Olivia was surprised to see a small figure sitting in her chair, head bowed and hair hanging over his face. She recognized him instantly.

"He's been here about an hour," Elliot told her. "The only thing he'll say is that he's got something to give you."

When her partner stood aside, Olivia immediately headed over to Calvin, feeling Elliot's eyes burn into the flesh at the back of her neck as he watched her go. Calvin's eyes joined his when he heard Olivia's footsteps, and he looked up to watch her come closer.

"What's going on, Calvin?" The boy refused to answer, and Olivia sat down on her desk, a perch that Alex usually took, since Calvin was in her chair. "What happened?"

Calvin rested his elbows on the desk beside her, looking up through his bangs. "My Mom's gone."

"Do you know where she went?"

"No."

Olivia paused, groping for words. There were just too many questions. "So how did you get here?"

"My Mom drove me. She told me to run in and give this to you..." Calvin's voice trailed off, and he pulled out a white envelope from the depths of his gray hoodie. Olivia looked down. Even though he was holding the envelope sideways, the blue ink clearly read _Det. Olivia Benson_ in neat, curly handwriting. Obviously, Vivian's hands had not shaken as she penned the words. "Then you weren't here. I went out to tell her, and she was gone... how could she leave me here?"

Despite her own tempest of emotions, Olivia's first instinct was to comfort the small, frightened boy in front of her. "I don't know, honey," she answered honestly, "but we're gonna find her. It's gonna be okay." She tried to put conviction behind the words, as much to reassure herself as to reassure Calvin.

Calvin hung his head. "No it's not."

Olivia couldn't really blame him for saying that. People were already dead, and lives were destroyed – Burlock's, Gambel's, Vivian's, her mothers, and now Calvin's, too. For a kid, he seemed awfully perceptive.

"Can I see what's in the envelope?"

Haltingly, Calvin passed it over. The flap was already open, and Olivia reached in to remove the tri-folded document inside. As she unfolded it and started to read the words, the letters began to blur together on the page. Feeling a wave of vertigo, Olivia stood up and turned away from the frightened, confused Calvin.

Instantly sensing that something was amiss, Elliot hurried over to see what was wrong. "What is it?"

"It's a notarized transfer of parental rights. Vivian made me Calvin's legal guardian."

Realizing that the poor kid was watching her intently, looking particularly pale and frightened, she hurried back over to him, trying not to appear too upset or concerned. "Listen, Calvin, your Mom is probably scared because of everything that's been going on lately. I don't know why she left, but I'm sure she had a good reason, and I promise that my friends and I at the police station are going to look for her every day until we find her, okay?"

Something in Olivia's voice seemed to reassure Calvin, and he felt the tightness in his chest loosen a little bit. "Okay," she said softly, still unsure.

"Meanwhile, your Mom signed these papers to make sure you have a place to stay while she's gone. You're going to sleep over at my house for a little while until we find her."

To her surprise, Calvin looked excited at that idea. "Can I see your gun?" he asked, eyeing the service weapon that she wore on her hip.

"Maybe later," Olivia said. Maybe unloading the weapon and showing Calvin how it worked would prevent an accident from happening later. Since Abbie Carmichael and Alex were the only ones that regularly had access to the apartment, she occasionally forgot to lock up her gun. That would have to change.

' _Oh shit. Alex...'_

"Listen, Calvin, I'm going to make a phone call. You can stay with Elliot."

"Please don't leave me!" the boy said in a rush, obviously not wanting to be abandoned twice in one day.

Olivia felt her heart go out to him and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I'll just be in the next room. I can't leave the station without passing back by my desk. Do you want to hold my purse for me until I get back?"

That seemed to calm the kid down, and so Olivia removed her cell phone and passed Calvin her purse. Mentally, she went through the items she kept in there, making sure there was nothing inappropriate or dangerous for him to find. Fortunately, the adult text messages from her lover were on her phone, so he wouldn't have access to them. Deciding that chapstick, her credit cards, her car keys, and her checkbook couldn't really do any damage with Elliot supervising, she patted Calvin's head and walked into the nearest vacant interrogation room, flipping open her phone and pressing speed dial.

Alex picked up on the third ring. "Olivia? Hi, how are you? I was hoping I'd hear from you this morning. Er, evening..."

"Alex..." Olivia tried to speak, but Alex interrupted her.

"Mani Japhet was found guilty of crimes against humanity. He's going to the Netherlands as we speak. We're just tying up a few loose ends here now–"

"Honey, please don't think your news isn't important, but I have something I need to tell you, and I'm already running on borrowed time..."

Noticing the fear and distress in her lover's voice for the first time, Alex paused, waiting with bated breath. Olivia never sounded this upset unless something really bad or unexpected had happened. "Uh, you know that case? Walter Burlock, the serial rapist?"

"Don't tell me Cragen suspended you," Alex muttered.

"Not quite," Olivia said, suddenly realizing that this entire case might have exploded in their faces if a defense attorney got wind of what was going on. "Burlock's dead, and Vivian Arliss, the daughter of one of this victims, has just disappeared."

"So you track her down," Alex said. "You've dealt with fugitives before."

"She left her ten year old son in my care."

Alex sighed. "Olivia, how many times have we been over this? I know foster care sucks, but there's not anything else you can do... There are some good people out there who want kids. You can keep an eye on his file, but you can't change the entire system."

"He's not going in to foster care," Olivia said, a little defensively. Alex instantly recognized the harshness in her detective's voice, which had dropped at least an octave. "Vivian signed a transfer of parental rights and dropped Calvin off at the station. I'm his legal guardian."

Alex gasped, and Olivia managed that she could see the attorney's free hand fly to her mouth in shock. "Christ," she breathed, groaning as the weight of Olivia's news settled over her shoulders. "Goddamn it, why do things have to be complicated? Look, take the kid back to the apartment. You're looking for his Mom?"

"Of course I am."

"Right. Poor kid." She was beginning to get over the shock, and her heart went out to the recently abandoned boy in her girlfriend's care. "You want to keep him, don't you?"

"What else can I do?"

Alex almost answered, but thought better of it. She knew that, in Olivia's mind, there were no other choices. "It's fine. Listen, I'm coming home. I was going to tell you, but your news kind of trumped mine."

Instantly, Olivia felt guilty for forcing her problems on Alex. "Honey, that's great... I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologize, you needed to talk. Do me a favor and purchase a one-way ticket back to New York. I'm coming home. Make sure to tell... Calvin... that his other temporary legal guardian is arriving tomorrow. Oh, and tell Carmichael, too. She can make me a proper meal."

Olivia felt her heart leap into her throat. "Do you mean that, Lex?"

"It's not official. I'm hoping we'll find his real mother before this gets too confusing, but yes, I'll help you play babysitter for a few weeks until we track her down."

"Alex..."

"It's okay, Liv. Everything will work out fine, I promise."

"I know this isn't..." Olivia stopped herself from saying 'fair' and replaced the word with "ideal..." but Alex knew what she was trying to say.

"He needs somebody. I'm not so heartless that I'd deny him a warm bed and some food and affection. God knows he needs it after his mother took off."

"Thank you," Olivia croaked, her voice breaking in her throat. "I love you, you big softie."

"Just don't tell anyone at the DA's office. Hey, do you think Elliot or Abbie would look after him for a couple of hours when I get home? I have some unfulfilled promises to keep for you, Detective..." Alex purred.

Despite the weary ache in her bones, despite the weight of responsibility, despite everything that was happening in her life, Olivia felt a familiar pulse of heat between her legs as she listened to Alex's seductive, hopeful words. "Definitely."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen:**

'You sure you don't mind watching him for a little while?" Olivia asked. So far, Elliot had taken the new temporary addition to Olivia's household in stride, but the detective still felt guilty about leaving Calvin with him for an extended period of time.

Elliot grinned, clapping his partner on the shoulder. "It's not a problem. I know Cabot's flying in tonight. What are partners for if not to have each other's back while they're trying to get some?"

"You're such an ass," Olivia grumbled, fishing in her purse for her keys. Still, she couldn't find it in herself to be too angry with him. After all, Elliot was doing her a huge favor... and soon, the love of her life would be home, back in Olivia's arms where she belonged.

"You like asses... at least, you like Alex's, since that's what you stare at when she's in the room at least 30% of the time."

Olivia sighed. "That isn't true..."

The former marine laughed. "Yes it is, and the rest of your attention is divvied up between her legs, her boobs, and her face... and we have to leave at least 1% for other things in the room, like a suspect or the Captain..."

Olivia aimed a swat at Elliot's head, but purposely missed. "Shut it," she muttered before raising her voice. "Calvin? Could you come in here please?"

A little hesitantly, the ten year old entered the room with a small backpack on his shoulders. He smiled when he saw Elliot, but gave Olivia a nervous look. "Do I really have to go?" he asked, turning pleading eyes on his temporary guardian. She made him feel safe, and over the past two days, he had clung to her like a barnacle. Olivia couldn't blame the poor kid. His mother had abandoned him, and Olivia was probably the first solid presence he had felt in his young life, even though they had only met recently.

"Yeah, I have to pick up Alex from the airport."

Calvin shifted his weight from one foot to the other at the mention of Alex's name. Olivia had explained to him that Alex was her girlfriend and that they lived together, a concept he seemed to accept without too many questions. She was grateful for that small blessing, at least. She had also reassured him that Alex knew he was staying at the apartment, and was excited to meet him.

"Don't worry, buddy. You're coming right back here bright and early tomorrow morning, and Alex is gonna love you. Promise." When Calvin still seemed unsure, Olivia ruffled his hair. "Besides, all your stuff is still in the guest bedroom except for your toothbrush and your outfit for tomorrow, remember? It will all be waiting here for you when you get back." And so would Olivia.

Fortunately for Abbie, Serena had graciously offered her own bed as a substitute when Olivia explained that Calvin would be staying with her for a few weeks. The Federal prosecutor didn't seem to mind. In fact, she jumped at the chance to spend more time with Serena, and she had confided to Olivia that she was trying to negotiate for a new government job in New York City.

"Okay," Calvin said, brightening up a little.

"It'll be fine, kid," Elliot said. "I already have five children of my own. I sure as hel – uh, heck, don't have plans to keep you. Olivia would miss you too much."

"You swore," Calvin said, grinning up at Elliot.

"Did not," Elliot hedged. "Come on, kid. We have to pick up the pizza on the way home, and then we can choose a movie for you to watch."

Once Elliot had shepherded a calmer-looking Calvin out of the door, Olivia went to work. As she ran around the apartment, picking up discarded items of clothing and straightening the shelves, she tried to ignore the nervous butterflies threatening to burst out of her stomach. Her heart was tripping along at double speed, and she kept wondering whether she should dig through Alex's drawers to find some candles... cook something for dinner... she felt like a nervous girl preparing for her first at-home date, and this wasn't even technically her apartment.

She took a deep breath and tried to slow down, wandering in to the kitchen and filling the dishwasher. "Chill out, Benson... You've got a couple of hours." She was already mapping out the time in her head. Start the dishwasher, finish straightening the apartment, make sure the bedroom was spotless, cook dinner, shower, change, drive to the airport...

That was when she heard the familiar sound of Alex's magnetic key in the lock. "What the hell?" Checking the clock to make sure she wasn't hallucinating, Olivia was amazed and slightly relieved to see that it was still four in the afternoon. Alex's flight wasn't due in for another several hours. No one else had a key to the apartment but Olivia and the landlord.

The detective froze, dropping the silverware that she had been about to pile in the dishwasher and practically running out of the kitchen. She was hedging her bets that it wasn't the landlord paying a visit.

She arrived at the front door just in time to see Alex close the door behind her. Both of them held still, staring at each other, a little unsure. There was a pause. "You're supposed to be somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean right now," Olivia stammered, trying not to let her voice crack.

"I bribed a passenger on an earlier flight to switch tickets with me." With shaking hands, Alex removed her coat and hung it on the coat tree. She hadn't needed to wear one for the past several weeks, and the gesture felt unfamiliar to her. This entire situation seemed almost surreal.

"How much?"

"Enough," Alex said. "The extra few hours with you were worth it."

Olivia opened her arms and Alex took several quick steps forward, falling in to them and nuzzling the detective's neck. Both of them trembled and squeezed tighter, unwilling to let go. There were still a few flakes of snow caught in Alex's blonde hair, but Olivia buried her face in it anyway, kissing the slightly damp strands. "Welcome home, Lexi."

"God, I missed you." Olivia didn't think it was possible to be held any tighter than Alex was already squeezing her, but the former ADA managed it somehow. "I'm not going back. I'll make McCoy take me back or play housewife for a while, but there's no way in hell I'm leaving you again."

Alex loosened her embrace, but only enough to glance past Olivia's head and stare into the apartment. "Where's this Calvin I'm supposed to meet?" she asked.

"Already with Elliot."

A slow smile spread across Alex's face. There would be plenty of time to worry about new responsibilities tomorrow. Right now was about her and Olivia. "I guess that means I can do this..." Wrapping her arms around Olivia's neck, Alex pulled her in for a hungry, desperate kiss.

Olivia would have smiled as well, but her mouth was otherwise occupied. The fireworks were back, just as bright as the first time they had kissed in the front seat of Alex's car. It seemed like yesterday and years ago at the same time, even though it had really happened about six months previously. Her lungs burned with the need for air, but she kept kissing Alex for as long as possible before pulling away, making up for the loss by pulling Alex into her arms and twirling her around, holding her as close as possible. The attorney laughed when one of her heels went flying, her breath tickling Olivia's cheek. Her arms still fastened around Olivia's neck, she kicked off the other shoe as well. "Wow. Best kiss ever."

Olivia leaned in to rub her nose against Alex's. "You didn't like the other ones?" she asked, pretending to pout.

"All of them are the best as long as they're from you," Alex clarified. "There's no way to pick."

Of course, that meant Olivia had to give her another, and another...

Which meant that they ended up against one of the walls, kissing frantically as Alex started unzipping Olivia's jeans while eager hands tried to find the zipper on the attorney's skirt. In moments, it fell down to pool around her stockinged toes. "Is this okay?" Olivia murmured softly, stroking the flesh of Alex's bare hips. She knew that Alex wanted her as much as she wanted Alex, but after their long separation, she wasn't sure what to expect... what if her girlfriend wanted a few minutes to recover? A shower or a nap...

"We've had this conversation before, Liv," Alex purred, grabbing Olivia's hand and guiding it to her breast. She sighed and rested her forehead against Olivia's shoulder as the detective started to knead her gently. "This," she gave the hand covering her breast an extra squeeze, "and this," she dragged Olivia's fingers beneath the elastic of her underwear, "belong to you." The detective gasped as her hand was flooded with heat. "You haven't forgotten, have you? You never have to ask... You can have me however you want..." Kiss. "whenever you want..." A tug of Olivia's lower lip. "No permission needed..." Kiss. "I'm yours."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen:**

Although she was reluctant to release the intimate grip she had on her lover, Olivia knew that if they wanted to avoid ruining the carpet, they needed to get to a bedroom – fast. Using the muscles in her shoulders and the support of the wall, she coaxed Alex's legs to wrap around her waist. "Hold on tight, sweetheart," she murmured, pressing a kiss to Alex's temple. Obediently, the prosecutor looped her arms around Olivia's neck and allowed herself to be carried. Maybe from the outside, it looked a little like a scene from a bad romance novel, but in the heat of the moment, it felt incredibly romantic. She didn't even mind that her skirt and stockings were crumpled in a pile by the wall.

As Olivia steered them to the bedroom, Alex occupied herself by kissing the column of her detective's throat, enjoying the soft gasps and low groans that her lips and teeth elicited. "Stop that. I'll drop you," Olivia warned her as she carried Alex down the hall, giving her behind a friendly squeeze.

Alex trusted her lover not to let go. "Better hurry up, then..."

Olivia wasn't about to argue. She quickened her pace and hurried through the bedroom door, gently depositing Alex on the king-sized mattress and smiling down at her. "You know, as much as I like surprising you by the door, in the kitchen, or anywhere else... my favorite place to make love to you is in our bed..." Olivia confessed, climbing on top of Alex and cradling the lawyer's face in her hands.

"It feels like home," Alex agreed, her face flushing slightly. "You're my home, Liv." Olivia gazed down into soft blue eyes and dipped her head for a kiss, but Alex surprised her, tangling her legs with the detective's and flipping them over in one smooth motion. She braced her elbows on either side of Olivia's shoulders, lips curling in a predatory smirk. "Ah ah ah... Carrying me to the bedroom like the heroine of a Harlequin was very butch of you, but right now, you're on my time."

Part of Olivia wanted to object, but the hunger and need in Alex's expression made the words evaporate in her throat. Spreading her arms out to the side in a submissive gesture, she decided to let the blonde have her way. "I'm all yours, beautiful."

Alex made quick work of Olivia's clothes, pulling her sweater up and over her head with a little help and hurrying to unfasten the clasp of her bra. When Olivia's torso expanded with a deep breath and her breasts fell free, Alex eagerly cupped them in her hands, purring with delight as the tips hardened against the center of her palms. "So gorgeous," she hummed, trailing a hot line of kisses down Olivia's clavicle and kneading the warm flesh in her hands. It took every ounce of willpower that Olivia possessed to submit to her girlfriend's touches without returning the favor, but somehow, she managed to stay still. Even when Alex's lips surrounded a puckered nipple and swirled around the red, irritated point with her tongue, Olivia forced herself to lie back and enjoy the pleasurable sensations instead of reciprocating.

Fortunately, Alex was too worked up to tease her for long. After lavishing attention on both breasts, she rushed to unbutton Olivia's pants, needing to feel and taste and claim. Olivia helped by lifting her hips, allowing Alex to pull off her jeans and underwear and toss them somewhere beside the bed, leaving her completely naked. However, she couldn't help making one request. "Lex, please let me feel your skin," she begged, plucking at Alex's blouse with shaking hands.

The lawyer sat up on her knees, straddling Olivia's hips and reaching for the hem of her shirt, only bothering to undo the minimum number of buttons as she pulled it off and threw it aside. She removed her stockings and underwear as well before settling back in to place. The detective groaned as she felt Alex's wetness paint her abdomen, sliding against her skin. Obviously, the attorney was just as excited as she was. Despite Alex's request, Olivia was unable to stop herself from reaching a hand between her lover's thighs. Alex gasped, tipping her head back and rolling her hips slightly as Olivia's fingers grazed through her folds. "You're so wet," Olivia whispered in awe, circling Alex's opening and preparing to slip inside of her lover for the first time in far too long.

Alex covered Olivia's hand with her own, giving it a reassuring squeeze before moving it away and closing her fingers around the bedsheets. "No, not yet... soon, I promise. I need to do something first..."

"Hmm?" the brunette mumbled, her head fuzzy with need. Her eyes widened and she regained some focus as Alex began kissing and nipping a trail down her stomach, pausing to nuzzle a protruding hipbone. Olivia's thighs parted automatically, making space for Alex to crawl between them as a warm tongue circled her navel.

Normally, Alex liked to draw it out, liked to make Olivia writhe and arch on the bed until she was absolutely aching for it, but she just didn't have the patience this time. "I've needed to taste you for weeks," she said, her voice breaking as she lowered her face between Olivia's trembling thighs. "This was what I imagined on lonely nights when you weren't there to satisfy me..."

"Alex," Olivia gasped, one hand still clutching the bedsheets as the fingers of the other hand threaded through Alex's soft hair. She lifted her hips, tilting them up impatiently and seeking Alex's tongue. "I need you..."

Even with Olivia begging and pleading for her, Alex couldn't resist pausing briefly to relish the moment. It wasn't too long, though, before she was consumed by her own desires. "What do you need from me, lover?" she asked, drawing Olivia's legs even further apart, spreading them as wide as they would go, revealing everything.

Olivia moaned as Alex grabbed her hipbones, holding her down, refusing to let her move closer. The prosecutor was content to take her sweet time, blowing a cool stream of air directly over Olivia's wetness. "You, just you. Your mouth on me. Please."

Finally delivering on all of the whispered promises they had shared on the phone, all of the longing e-mails and texts, all of the lonely dreams, Alex dipped her head and dragged her tongue deep through Olivia's folds. She kept it slow, wanting to make Olivia burn for her, but Alex knew that she probably wasn't going to last. They had been apart for too long.

"Yes..." Olivia grasped at stray wisps of Alex's hair and pulled her closer, almost frantic with need.

No other lover had ever been as passionate or attentive as Alex while pleasing her, and none of them had made such a show of going down on her. But the real reason that Alex was so good at what she did was her own obvious arousal – she needed to taste Olivia just as much as Olivia needed to be tasted, and that kind of enthusiasm just couldn't be faked. God, she had missed this. Her pelvis gave a sharp, unsteady twitch as Alex's hand joined her mouth, slipping inside of her with curling fingertips and scraping against the sensitive place inside of her that always made Olivia's moans a little sweeter.

Breathing raggedly, Olivia shuddered as Alex's lips wrapped around her. Kissing, flicking, sucking. All of her mouth's attention was on the hard little bud of nerves, but her fingers were coaxing a symphony of helpless sounds from her throat. A particularly violent lash of Alex's tongue made her scream, while a long, slow suckle and swirl drew a low growl of approval. The persistent pads of Alex's fingers, which were still pressing inside of her, tugged loose a soft whimper.

"Aah-lexsss," Olivia hissed when the attorney grazed gently with her teeth, shuddering as another pulse of wetness and heat covered Alex's hand. The attorney was too involved in what she was doing to pull away, but a soft squeeze of Olivia's knee with her free left hand let the detective know that everything was okay, she was really here, and it was safe to let go. Olivia was so overwhelmed by the orgasm crashing down over her poor, straining body that she didn't even notice the tears leaking from her eyes. If Alex sensed them, she didn't let it slow her down. She only glanced up for a moment, briefly locking eyes with Olivia and licking red, shining lips before diving back in. She wasn't done yet, and God help Olivia if she tried to stop her before she was finished.

Olivia was helpless to do anything but lie back and enjoy the ride. She knew better than to try and resist Alex when she was in this sort of mood. Normally, Olivia was the more aggressive one in bed – the wielder of the strap-on, the confident top, the passionate lover... but sometimes, a primitive part of Alex's brain clicked on, and Olivia found herself pinned to the nearest available surface, her legs spread and a warm tongue buried deep inside of her.

Before she had even recovered from her first release, Olivia was hurtling into a second... and a third... She couldn't tell where one orgasm ended and another began. They rushed at her in a shuddering, pulsing wave, and she couldn't make sense of anything that was happening except that she was with Alex, her Alex, and it felt absolutely magical.

Finally, when the incoherent sounds spilling from Olivia's lips started to change to soft groans of discomfort, Alex pulled away. Her jaw ached, and she knew Olivia couldn't take any more, but part of her didn't want to stop. She laughed softly to herself as she sat back on her heels and took in the sweaty, trembling mess that had once been Olivia, rubbing the detective's upper thighs in a gesture of comfort.

"I'm dead," Olivia groaned, her voice hoarse. She had apparently melted into a warm puddle and was incapable of moving, and she was sure she had blacked out for a few seconds.

"Don't worry, lover," Alex purred, stalking back up Olivia's body and pressing a kiss to her dry, parted lips. Olivia moaned softly as she tasted herself on Alex's mouth. "I know CPR."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen:**

It took a minute or two for Olivia to recover from Alex's thorough ravishing, but once she caught her breath, the detective wasted no time in flipping her lover over and capturing her lips in a passionate kiss.

"Hi there," Alex purred once Olivia was forced to stop for air. "Welcome to the party."

"Oh, I was already here before." Olivia kissed her way along the line of Alex's jaw and sucked at a sensitive portion of her slender, pale throat. "You made sure of that." Suddenly, Alex was grateful that they were lying down. She had a feeling that if they had been standing up, both of them would have fallen onto the floor.

Alex slid her hands around the back of Olivia's neck, urging her back up for another hot, wet kiss, begging for entrance with her tongue. Olivia didn't grant it right away, making her work for it, and quickly took control. "No you don't," she whispered against Alex's lips, which still tasted like her, warm and sweet and just a little salty. "You had your turn. Now, it's mine." Olivia worked her hands in between their bodies, skimming the sides of Alex's breasts as she kissed the attorney's chin. The blonde groaned when one of Olivia's thighs pressed insistently between hers, rubbing teasingly through her heat. Olivia let out a low growl as she felt wetness paint her skin. She knew that Alex was just as excited, just as desperate for this as she was. Her lover might have had the upper hand at first, but things were about to change.

"Oh, Liv..." Alex cried out as her pelvis jerked forward, searching for more contact. Smiling with satisfaction, Olivia began a slow grind, making sure that Alex's entire body shuddered with each press of her hips, letting the pressure build. But the feel of Alex moving beneath her wasn't enough. Olivia needed to taste her, too.

When the attorney's head fell backwards onto the pillow, Olivia began a new assault on her neck, biting down sharply and relishing the hiss that escaped through Alex's gritted teeth. Part of Olivia knew that her lover was close, uncomfortably close, but she strained to make it last a little longer. Of course, she didn't have to stop at one orgasm, either... Alex certainly hadn't shown any restraint with her earlier.

"Please, baby... your hand. I need you inside me. Please. God, Olivia..."

Giving in, the detective abandoned one of Alex's breasts and caressed the attorney's pale abdomen, causing gooseflesh to break out over her skin. Olivia pulled back slightly, gazing down at the delicious sight before her, taking it all in. "God, you're beautiful, Lexi..."

"Don't tease me," she pleaded, grabbing Olivia's hand and trying to force it between her legs.

"Oh, I won't tease..." Olivia whispered, pressing her lips against Alex's in a series of quick kisses as her fingertips grazed through a neatly trimmed triangle of damp curls. "But I do intend to... thoroughly... please you..."

Alex leaned back against the pillow, her blue eyes darker than usual, swirling with lust and need, knowing that Olivia wouldn't give her what she wanted until she was absolutely dying for it. All that Alex could do to encourage her was look as irresistible as possible. Catching her bottom lip between her teeth, she spread her legs wide, revealing everything, inviting Olivia to take her. Unable to resist that lovely picture, Olivia slid two fingers home, letting her thumb settle in to place as she curled forwards, scraping Alex's inner walls. The attorney's entire body jerked and shuddered at the welcome intrusion, seizing up tight before relaxing into a warm puddle. "Love you," she gasped out with her last remaining breath.

"I love you, too, sweetie." Olivia began an insistent tempo, drawing her fingers out with swiftness and surety before driving back in. She was going to show Alex no more mercy than the attorney had shown her – none whatsoever.

"Don't think I can last," Alex panted.

"It's okay," Olivia said with another thrust and curl inside. She adored the way that Alex's tight inner walls clutched at her, unwilling to release her fingers. "I'm not gonna stop when you come."

That simple statement drew another appreciative burst of wetness from deep inside of Alex, and her eyelashes lowered to brush her cheeks, lips parting in a silent gasp of pleasure. No one but Olivia had ever been able to make her feel so much...

Wanting to drive Alex even crazier, Olivia dipped her head and took the straining tip of a breast between her lips, swirling her tongue around it as her fingers made an answering swirl around Alex's sensitized entrance. The lawyer arched her upper body off of the bed, trying to push herself further into Olivia's mouth as her hips drove down against her lover's coaxing fingers.

"Deeper..." All of her patience and restraint gone, Alex wrapped her long legs around Olivia's hips, groaning when the brunette responded by settling into a faster, rougher tempo.

"Mine." Olivia abandoned her nipple to place a strategic nip against the pulse point in Alex's throat. "All mine." Alex whimpered in agreement, desperately squeezing Olivia's shoulder with one hand and clutching at the bedsheets with the other.

When Olivia's perfectly positioned thumb scraped over her straining, sensitized tip, Alex's eyes snapped open and all of her muscles shuddered. She flew over the edge and hung, suspended, in space before falling, landing safely in Olivia's arms as tears leaked from the corners of her eyes.

"Don't cry," Olivia murmured, kissing Alex's salty cheeks before landing on her lips again, never stopping the motion of her hand. "I've got you." As soon as her first orgasm began to slow down, Alex started rising towards another, which threatened to eclipse the first and completely overwhelm her. Olivia sensed it as well. She could hear it in the short, sharp pants escaping from Alex's lips, and she could see it in the tension gathered in the blonde's forehead. Olivia dropped another kiss there as well, nuzzling the side of Alex's face. "I've got you, love," she repeated.

It was all too much. Olivia's breathy reassurances, her comforting weight, the two fingers slipping hungrily in and out of her, the teasing thumb that tortured her with its steady, harsh rolls and flicks. Alex opened her mouth to scream, but the only sound that came out was a choked sob as she released everything she had been holding back – all of her loneliness and fear and worries, all of her love and passion. She gave everything she had, all of herself, the good and the bad, and Olivia accepted it, whispering nonsense words in her ear and kissing her as she floated back down to earth.

Alex's lower body was numb. It tingled with a strange buzzing sensation that did not differentiate completely between pleasure and pain. She was grateful when Olivia's fingers stopped moving, simply allowing her aftershocks to ripple around her hand, but she was also pleased that her lover didn't pull away completely. She needed the contact for a little while longer.

"Hold me," Alex said, not a demand, but a gentle request.

Olivia did so without question, folding her free arm around Alex and pulling her as close as possible. She smiled softly as she felt Alex's face buried in her shoulder, breathing against her skin. Truthfully, she needed to hold Alex, too. Their bodies had missed this. Not just the physical release, but also the closeness, the tenderness, the intimacy.

"I missed you so much..."

"Me too. I won't leave again. I promise."

In some ways, this separation had been harder on Olivia than any of their previous ones. Alex's time in Witness Protection had been terrible, of course. During those long, gray years, Olivia hadn't been able to contact Alex at all, but they hadn't been in a relationship back then, and the detective could at least try to put the missing lawyer out of her thoughts. But when Alex had gone to Africa, Olivia was forced to deal with the knowledge that it was Alex's choice to leave – not a necessity. They had confessed their feelings, begun a relationship, made love... and Alex still chose to fly half way around the world.

But.

But she had come back again.

It seemed that no matter what tests life threw at them, no matter how often fate tried to tear them apart, Alex always came back. Back to her. And Olivia was grateful.

"I won't let you leave again."

"Promise?"

Olivia paused for a moment, deep in thought. Finally, she spoke against the soft strands of Alex's hair. "Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God my God."

"Ruth..." The detective could feel Alex's lips curl into a smile against the place where the line of her neck ran into her shoulder. Alex wasn't the most devout Catholic in the city – she certainly didn't attend Mass regularly like Elliot Stabler or Casey Novak – but she recognized the verse. "I didn't know you could quote Scripture."

"Only the good parts. I guess I'm just full of surprises."

Alex sighed as Olivia's fingers stirred inside of her again, gently withdrawing as the detective brought them up to draw a wet circle around the point of her hip. Alex shivered, laughing softly at the strange sensation, and lifted her head to give Olivia another short kiss. "Since you're so interesting, I guess that means I have to keep you."

"Keep me?" Olivia said, nibbling on Alex's full lower lip, "you'll never be able to get rid of me now!"

The blonde laughed, but the sound trailed off into a soft whimper as the motion caused slick, sensitized tissue to slide against Olivia's stomach. Encouraged by the subtle rocking motion that Alex had begun, purposely or not, Olivia began kissing her way down Alex's upper chest, pausing to suck each of her nipples for a few moments before continuing lower.

A few months ago, Alex would have stopped her or made some excuse, protesting that Olivia didn't need to do that for her, especially after the pleasure she had already received, but she had learned not to argue. Besides, Olivia had shown her that it could feel absolutely amazing. With that in mind, she only made one soft request as Olivia's hands parted her knees. "Be gentle with your mouth, sweetheart... I'm still a little– Aah" Her voice trailed off as Olivia scattered feather-light kisses over her inner thighs.

Reassured that the third time around would be softer, Alex stretched her arms over her head luxuriously and rolled her shoulders, sinking deeper into the mattress. _'Mmhmm,'_ she managed to think to herself before Olivia's tongue became a distraction, relearning every inch of her, _'definitely good to be home...'_


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty:**

Neither of them slept for more than a few hours at a time. One always woke up wrapped in a tangle of warm limbs; bed sheets twisted about their legs or – once – on the floor, and coaxed the other out of a dreamless sleep, wanting to make love again.

The first few times had been simple, but shattering in their intensity. They let all of their emotions pour out through touch, and only after their bodies had relearned each other did they introduce props. A stretched scarf still hung from one of the bedposts, and Alex's skin smelled like warm, slightly spicy massage oil. The latest 'prop' was wearable, and Alex was currently giving it, and Olivia, her undivided attention.

"Oh God..." As Olivia's voice filtered down to where Alex's lips and fingers were hard at work, the attorney realized with smug satisfaction that even though Olivia was wearing temporary masculine parts, she could still coax high-pitched, feminine whimpers from the detective. She might have been tempted to make a quip if her mouth hadn't already been full, but Olivia was too far-gone to notice and appreciate it anyway.

It always amazed Alex just how much Olivia seemed to like this, even though she never asked for it, never admitted it, never spoke of it. It was just something that Alex knew and was more than happy to give. Besides, she would be lying if she said that she didn't derive satisfaction from it as well. She was sure that Huang would have a field day with the patriarchal and sexual connotations, but she didn't care.

She had done this for men in the past with regularity and a certain degree of skill, but she never enjoyed it. Usually, it was a way to avoid penetrative sex, which she enjoyed even less. Everything was different with Olivia. Making love was something to be enjoyed, not simply endured. And there was no doubt, Alex thought as she glanced up and fluttered her eyelashes in the way she knew drove Olivia crazy, that her lover certainly enjoyed it as well.

When Alex dipped her head, taking more of the shaft into her warm mouth, she felt Olivia's hips surge upwards even as the detective's thighs tightened, trying to control her body's reaction. Fingers wove through Alex's hair in a possessive gesture. Coming from anyone else, it would have annoyed her, but since this was Olivia, something about it felt highly erotic. The prosecutor squeezed her legs together, pushing down a wave of desire. Right now, Olivia's need was far greater.

"Honey," she panted, a plea as much as an endearment. Olivia loosened her tight grip on Alex's mussed blonde hair in an effort to be gentle.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Alex drew her lips and tongue up the length of the toy, pausing on her journey up to kiss the tip as her fingers continued gliding through as much of Olivia's wetness as she could reach. "You have a decision to make, baby," Alex purred once her jaw was free. "You're close. I can feel how close you are... so, do you want to come in my mouth, or inside me?"

Those words brought back memories of forty five minutes earlier, when Olivia had guided Alex onto her hands and knees and...

Olivia groaned, her eyes closing and her head tilting back. Then, she realized that she was missing the show and forced them open again. "Alex..."

But Alex's mouth was sliding back over her, making it impossible to finish her thought. The attorney didn't continue for long, however. She wasn't done talking. "Did you decide yet?"

"Hmm... wha'?" Olivia stammered.

"My mouth... or...?"

The possibility was enough to coat Alex's fingers with fresh warmth and heat. She knew that Olivia wouldn't last long enough for the second, unspoken option and so she went with the first, humming contentedly as she wrapped her lips around the silicone shaft and sped up the motion of her hand.

The words, visual stimulation, the vibrations, Alex's fingers – Olivia wasn't sure which of them finally pushed her over the edge, but it was powerful. She let out a deep, throaty moan of satisfaction as the contractions started. It seemed like she could feel everything. Lips, fingers, all of it. So good she almost couldn't stand it. But being with Alex in any way always made her feel like that. Being in love probably had something to do with it.

As soon as Olivia's aftershocks weakened to soft flutters, Alex climbed back onto the bed, stretching out her slightly sore knees and straddling Olivia's hips, dragging her folds along the length of the toy that had recently been in her mouth. The detective laughed at her insatiable lover and gripped Alex's hips, stroking soft, slightly damp skin with her thumb. "Good girl," she teased, reaching around behind to give two firm cheeks a friendly squeeze. "Now go make me a sandwich."

"Not funny. Go make it yourself." Her eyes glinted evilly as she adjusted the angle of her pelvis, allowing the head of the toy to swirl around her entrance and slowly lowering herself down, teasing Olivia with the pressure. "Besides, if I go make you a sandwich, I would have to stop doing this..."

"I was kidding! Kidding–"

Before Alex could make Olivia beg for mercy, the ringing of a cell phone interrupted them. "I've realized what I'm going to do with my inheritance," Alex said, refusing to move. The phone continued ringing in the other room.

"What?" Olivia asked. "Buy me a sandwich?"

Alex wisely chose to ignore that statement. "I'm going to pay someone to invent a time machine for me, go back in time, and assassinate the inventor of the cell phone."

"Are you sure you'll be able to find a Delorean and a Flux Capacitor, doc?"

"Less movie references, more sex," Alex said, gripping Olivia's shoulders as the phone went to voicemail. Unfortunately, the caller would not be put off, and the phone started ringing again. Alex rolled her eyes, blowing hair off of her forehead with an irritated puff of air. "Damn it..."

Reluctantly, she dismounted from her enjoyable perch, flinching a little at the sudden, unwelcome withdrawal, and began limping towards the door. Olivia burst out in unrestrained laughter, and Alex turned to glare at her. "What?"

"I just realized I fucked you until you couldn't walk straight," Olivia said between giggles. "It's official, I'm a stud."

"You are never getting that sandwich," Alex muttered as she walked out of the room, giving Olivia a nice parting view of her retreating form.

The caller was trying Olivia's cell a third time when Alex finally got to it. "Cabot," she snapped, not checking the caller ID. Then she remembered that this wasn't her phone. "Olivia Benson's cell," she added, hastily correcting her error.

"This is your three minute warning," Elliot Stabler said, unable to hide the laughter in his voice. "In three minutes, a ten year old and I are going to invade your apartment, and there had better not be any incriminating evidence."

Alex felt her cheeks grow hot. "Three minutes? Why didn't you call sooner?"

"I did! You didn't answer the phone."

"I meant, like, half an hour sooner..."

"Because I wanted to piss you off."

"You succeeded. We are now in a fight," Alex said. "And I'm going to hang up on you so that I don't completely scar a ten year old for life."

"And a middle-aged police detective," Elliot added.

"Oh, please. You wish we would decide to 'scar' you." Hanging up in order to have the last word, Alex hurried over to the entryway and grabbed her skirt, glancing around for any other missing items of clothing. "Olivia!" she hollered into the bedroom, "get cleaned up! You have three minutes!"

...

Six minutes later, Alex was simultaneously running a comb through her wet hair, looking for a bra, and trying to make the master bed. Unfortunately, there was no time to change the sheets. At least there was a window, which Alex wasted no time in opening. Olivia was still in the shower, leaving Alex to fend for herself.

The attorney had just raised her slipper in triumph when there was a crisp knock on the door. Realizing there was no time for the bra, Alex grabbed a tank top instead and shrugged it on. "Liv! Hurry up!" she shouted, hopping on one foot as she put on the missing slipper and jogging out of the bedroom

At least this way, Alex mused as she threw open the front door, she had no time to be nervous about meeting her new... whatever Calvin was. Temporary foster charge sounded too unpleasant. She really wanted him to like her. Aside from that, she tried not to think about what being responsible for a ten year old would be like. It was too confusing.

"Hello there, Cabot," Elliot said, smiling smugly as he peered over Alex's shoulder, trying to spot Olivia. When it became clear that she was still hiding in the back, he settled his gaze on Alex instead.

"Eyes up, Stabler," Alex warned him with a low growl, even though he hadn't been doing anything particularly objectionable.

"Forget your concealer?" he asked.

"You as- ummm..." For the first time, Alex remembered that Elliot Stabler was not their only visitor. Looking down, she gave the dark-haired boy hanging a few paces back a nervous but genuine smile. "You must be Calvin," she said, stepping back to allow both of the boys to enter the apartment.

"Hi," he said, shifting from foot to foot, a little unsure of himself.

Although most of her former colleagues at the DA's office thought of her as cold, Alex had a good deal of experience with children, especially frightened or shy ones. It came with the territory. She bent down, resting her elbow on her knee and giving Calvin a bigger smile. "Hi. I'm Alex. Olivia's already told me what an awesome kid you are, so I think we're gonna get along great."

With Alex down on his level, Calvin took the opportunity to study her face. Then, strangely, he examined the inside of her elbows. Alex was a little surprised, and then sad when she realized that he was actually checking for track marks. However, she carefully disguised her reaction, not wanting to do anything that might upset Calvin. When Calvin offered her a smile in return, she considered the initial greeting a success. "Hey, do you want to pick what we eat for lunch?"

"Can we have grilled cheese and tomato soup?"

Alex raised her eyebrows, but nodded. That was usually a sick-in-bed type of food as far as she was concerned, but if Calvin wanted grilled cheese, she would make him grilled cheese. "Sure. Elliot, you're welcome to stay for lunch as well."

"I think I will, if only to watch you and Olivia squirm," said the detective, closing the door as Alex stood up and headed for the kitchen.

"C'mon, guys. I'm starving."

"I'm sure you are..."

"Alex?" Calvin asked, testing out the name, "can I ask you a question, or will you get mad?"

"Yes, you may. Questions are good," Alex said. "I won't get mad."

"What happened to your neck?"

Elliot clapped a hand over his mouth, but was unable to hold in a sharp bark of laughter. Alex, however, kept her cool. "It's called a subdermal hematoma," she said, artfully dodging the question. "They show up when blood goes outside of your blood vessels. The bruises will fade in a few days."

"Did you get them in a freak vacuum cleaner accident?" Elliot asked as they entered the kitchen and Alex began digging in the fridge, looking for supplies.

When she came back out with the tub of margarine, she brandished it threateningly at Elliot's head. "Don't make me hurt you, Stabler," she said, sticking out her tongue to let Calvin know that she was joking. Olivia hadn't filled her in on his past, and she didn't know if he had ever been physically abused or just neglected, but she didn't want him to think that she would ever be physically violent. Setting the tub of margarine on the countertop, she ducked back into the fridge, hoping that the built-in bra of her tank top would be enough to cover any reaction she had to the cold. "Calvin, would you like American cheese or Swiss?"

"He likes American, but I want Swiss," a low, familiar feminine voice purred as hands wrapped around Alex's waist from behind and a warm nose nuzzled the crook of her neck.

"I already know what you like," Alex said, relaxing back into Olivia's arms for a moment before pulling away, coming out with one type of cheese in each hand. "Elliot?"

"American," he said, winking at Olivia as Alex tried to pry her hands off.

"Stop that. Do you want me to make you a sandwich or not?"

That did the trick, and Olivia started laughing too hard to keep hold of her lover. "I knew I'd get you to make me a sandwich!"

Alex narrowed her eyes and pointed a threatening index finger at Stabler, holding the cheese with the rest of her hand. "I blame you for this."

Elliot held up his hands. "Me? What did I do?"

"Taught Olivia how to be a jerk. As of right now, both of you are in the doghouse, so Calvin gets his grilled cheese first."

Calvin, meanwhile, was practically radiating with hero worship as he looked at Olivia. "Olivia! I missed you," he said, stepping forwards to get his own hug, which Olivia gave willingly.

"Hey, champ. I missed you, too." The sight of Olivia embracing the boy warmed Alex's heart, and she paused to watch instead of reaching for the frying pan. "Don't worry. Alex and I have decided to keep you around from now on instead of dumping you on Elliot. Were you good for him yesterday?"

"He was," Elliot said. "He only blew up the house twice."

"How can you blow up something twice?" Olivia asked.

Her partner waggled his eyebrows "Ask Cabot."

Alex sighed. She had a feeling that Elliot Stabler was only getting started.


	21. Chapter 21

**Part Five:**

 ****

Chapter Twenty-One:

Sharing her apartment with a ten year old was not nearly as easy as Alex had hoped, and there were several inconveniences that she was still adjusting to. When Olivia worked, which was often, Alex was forced to take on the lion's share of the child-rearing duties, a task that she found herself woefully unprepared for. Still, she tried her best. She did not blast rap music while cleaning the house to preserve tender young ears. She tried to feed Calvin (and herself) three well-balanced meals, and even attempted to make them at the correct times. The days of eating dinner at ten o' clock at night and breakfast at two in the afternoon were long gone. She made sure that all of her sex toys, handcuffs, ties, flavored lubricant, and any other inappropriate items were tucked away in a lockbox at the top of her closet, along with a few "novels" dog-eared at the racy parts. She had also taken to wearing a nightshirt while she slept, or at least keeping one close to the bed in case Calvin had a nightmare.

When Alex first learned that Calvin would be staying with them, she made a promise to herself: 'I will not let a kid prevent me from having sex.' This promise was quickly broken over and over again. Their lovemaking, when they did find the time and privacy, was as excellent as ever, but there were no spontaneous quickies in the kitchen, and she could no longer distract Olivia from her commentary on a particularly bad documentary or crime drama by unzipping her pants and getting on her knees. In fact, they didn't watch crime dramas, documentaries, or anything resembling adult television anymore. The 'previous channel' button on the remote always seemed to lead her to a cartoon she wasn't familiar with – but that was also changing. She knew the theme songs to three animated shows already, and she had only been back just shy of a week.

Also, it turned out that not swearing was even more difficult for her than learning how to swear in the first place.

After six days of cooking, cleaning, washing, reading, watching television, driving, and answering a million and one questions about love, life, and politics, Alex realized three things. One, she liked kids. Two, she liked Calvin in particular. Three, she absolutely hated being a stay-at-home mom, even a temporary one.

"Olivia, I'm going nuts," she confessed, simultaneously making dinner and keeping an eye on Calvin as he read a book in the other room. The former ADA had decided to step a little more into her role as Calvin's caretaker and curtailed his television consumption. It had been a good distraction at first, but now it was just getting on her nerves. Calvin had not been pleased, but that was to be expected. Reading was much better for his developing brain anyway (not to mention quieter).

"Don't like playing Mom, huh, Cabot?" Olivia teased, but Alex recognized the hint of nervousness in her voice. Unlike her, Olivia was the most naturally suited person in the world for motherhood, and she took to it like a duck to water.

"I'm not made of strong enough stuff to be a full time... whatever the hell I am right now. I hate not working." That was the truth. "I love having Calvin here, I really do. He's been adjusting so well, and I know things are rough for him, but I'm just not cut out to be a homemaker for any length of time. Seriously. I don't have the chutzpah."

Olivia laughed delightedly, relieved that Alex wasn't rejecting the idea of letting Calvin stay altogether. She had no idea what she would do if Alex suddenly changed her mind. "Alex Cabot doesn't have enough spunk to handle one little kid? Wow, that's a first."

"Hey, I have been handling it, miss double-shifts. But I can't watch what I want on TV anymore, he keeps asking for the same five foods, and I miss having sex on the couch," Alex whined.

"You can watch what you want on TV. Calvin has to learn to share. Make something different for dinner. If Calvin doesn't like it, that's his problem. And if you really want to have sex on the couch," Olivia purred, nuzzling Alex's shoulder, "then I'll do you on the couch after little eyes and ears are tucked away in the bedroom."

Alex sighed. "I know. It's just an adjustment..." She hated to admit it, but she wasn't used to sharing. At least with Olivia, there were huge physical benefits that made her forget about the weird "naturally flavored" toothpaste in the bathroom instead of the regular mint variety and the girl boxers that seemed to pile up in the hamper faster than Munch went through conspiracy theories.

"So, what should we do?"

It was another one of the little moments that convinced Alex how right the decisions in her personal life had been. This was exactly where she was supposed to be. Still, there could be a few improvements. "He needs a regular bedtime, and you have to help me enforce it."

"Done," Olivia agreed.

"He needs to go back to school. I know that he got pulled out for a few weeks because no one was sure if he would be returning, but I bet if I go frighten a few secretaries and school administrators, we can get everything back on track."

"Done." That had been the plan anyway.

"I'm serious about you doing me on the couch."

The detective gave her a toothy grin. "Definitely!"

"And I'm going to get on my knees for Jack McCoy."

That was too much. "What?"

"Had to make sure you were paying attention." Alex winked. "I'm going to get my knees and beg for a job, any kind of job that's somewhat similar to my old one. I'll draw the line at demonstrating my oral skills."

Olivia groaned and leaned back against the counter, burying her face in her hands. "Alex, you can't say stuff like that. You'll give me a heart attack." That was when Olivia's phone started ringing. With a sigh, she grabbed her cell from the kitchen counter and answered the call. "Benson."

"Why do you answer your phone like that?" Calvin, who had snuck into the room while they were talking, almost made Alex jump out of her skin. She hoped that he hadn't been listening to their conversation for too long – that would have been embarrassing. Olivia smiled at him and held up one finger, indicating for him to wait.

"What do you mean?" Alex asked, leaning back beside the stove.

"You always answer your phones like that. 'Benson' and 'Cabot'... don't most people say hello?"

"Yep, they do, but Olivia works very hard, and with a job like hers, sometimes there isn't time to say hello."

Meanwhile, Olivia stuffed a finger into her other ear and wandered a few feet away so that she could hear better. "What? I can't... hold on...what? Really? That... doesn't make sense. What kind of letters don't have – oh..."

"But you stay at home with me," Calvin added. "Why do you answer your phone like that?"

"Well, if we don't have DNA to run through the system – we could... no, but –" Olivia said, her voice slightly louder than necessary.

"Because I used to work with Olivia," Alex explained. "Speaking of which, I'm going back to my job soon."

For a moment, Calvin's face fell. Then, he brightened considerably. "Does that mean I can do whatever I want when I'm alone in the apartment?"

After spending two minutes waiting for Olivia to finish on the phone, almost burning the sixth grilled cheese she had made in as many days, and fielding several more questions from Calvin about what he could and could not do (No, You Can't Turn On The Stove Unless There Is An Adult In The Kitchen. Elliot Does Not Count. No, You May Not Open The Liquor Cabinet), Alex wanted to bang her head against the wall.

"Olivia," she whined as the detective ended her call, "help?"

"Here, let me do that." Olivia switched off the stovetop and reached into the upper cabinet for a plate. "I am hereby ordering you out of the apartment for the next couple of hours. Go bother Abbie and Serena or something. Maybe Carmichael can give you some advice on using your oral skills to convince Jack McCoy to take you back."

"You don't need to tell me twice," Stealing Olivia's cell phone, she scrolled through the detective's contacts until she found Abbie's number. While the phone was ringing, she reached into the forbidden liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle of wine for good measure. Alcohol definitely sounded like a good idea tonight.

"Carmichael! Put some clothes on. I'm coming over."

Calvin giggled. "Olivia, why did Alex tel-"

"Because Abbie likes to run around in her underwear," Olivia said in a mock whisper, heading off Calvin's question before he finished. "And if your next question is going to be why Abbie likes running around in her underwear, I don't know. You'll have to ask her."

That would certainly be an amusing conversation to listen in on.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-Two:**

"Please tell me that's not the doorbell."

Serena sighed, resting her chin on Abbie's inner thigh and gazing up past the Texan's toned stomach and bare breasts to focus on her flushed face. "That's not the doorbell. But my saying something doesn't make it true. What is it you tell me... putting boots in the oven doesn't make 'em biscuits?"

With a groan of protest and unfulfilled need, Abbie threaded her fingers through Serena's hair and tried to pull the blonde back into place between her legs. "No – don't get up..." For a moment, the attorney let herself be directed, unable to resist one last taste... but she had learned the hard way that Abbie was a little like a tootsie roll pop, and in this case, Serena wouldn't be able to find out how many licks it took.

"Alex is at the door," she said firmly, groaning as she got to her feet and stretched out the muscles in her shoulders. After giving the hinges of her jaw a few adjustments as well for good measure, she started heading towards the bedroom door before realizing that she was naked.

"I tried to tell her not to come over, but she hung up!" Abbie pouted, still lying sprawled in her previous position on the mattress of Serena's Queen sized bed.

"You should have called her back."

"I was busy. And I might have felt sorry for her. The kid's been running her ragged, she just got back from the goddamn middle of nowhere, and Benson's probably trashed her apartment by now..."

Serena, who had found her t-shirt and a pair of Abbie's jeans, bent down to give her lover a kiss on the forehead. "You're sweet," she said as the doorbell rang a second and third time.

"Don't tell Alex that," Abbie grumbled, still unwilling to move. "You – you gotta get the door. I'm..."

Feeling sorry for Abbie as well as a little mischievous, Serena took a moment to approach the side of the bed. She trailed her fingers along Abbie's stomach, dipping all too briefly between the Texan's legs. "Yeah, you are," she purred as the brunette shivered. "Why don't you go hide in the bathroom? I'll keep Alex occupied for five minutes."

"Go 'head on, but I'm not wearing pants! You and Alex can't make me."

"You're a grown woman, I can't make you wear pants, but don't do anything in the bathroom except clean up... the rest is my job to finish later."

Abbie closed her eyes and mustered the strength to shake her head in frustration as Serena left the bedroom.

...

As soon as Serena opened the door, Alex walked in and made herself right at home, flopping down dramatically on her friend's couch in a very unsophisticated manner and demonstrating just how worn out she was. "You should have told me you were having sex," she said, letting her head loll over the armrest. "I didn't have to come over." Suddenly, her body went rigid. "Wait, it wasn't on the couch, right?" Slowly, as though trying to avoid startling a wild animal, Alex began to pick herself delicately off of the cushions.

Serena pushed her back down with a friendly hand on her shoulder. "What is it with you and sex on the couch? We were in the bedroom like normal people, and it's all right. Abbie did try to tell you, but you had already hung up on her... and she said something about not wearing pants?"

Alex snorted. "I told her to put on some pants because I was coming over, but it was a joke... I didn't realize she had actually discarded them. Oh, and I brought wine." She gestured at the bag that she had dropped beside the couch. "I figured since I was imposing, I might as well bring alcohol to make my company more tolerable."

"You mean Abbie's company, but thank you for being polite," Serena joked. "She'll be out in a minute."

"Couldn't find her clothes? That's typical Carmichael."

"More like I'm wearing her clothes." Serena gestured at the well-worn pair of jeans that were just a little too loose at the back, but still a decent fit overall.

"Oh, great... then she's definitely not going to come out with pants. Remind me why I wanted to come over here again?"

Serena shrugged. "Beats me."

"Is it horrible of me to be glad that since I'm sexually frustrated, you and Abbie can't have sex either? I'm feeling a serious case of Schadenfreude right now."

"No, it's not horrible, but don't tell Abbie. Do you need me to play sex therapist while she's indisposed? Has Olivia been giving you trouble?"

Alex blushed, regretting her previous comment. "No... Hey, can you help me up? I'll get some wineglasses. They're in the usual cupboard, right? Not like at my place... God, between the two of them, I never know where anything is anymore!" Gathering the energy to sit back up, Alex reached for her bag and pulled out the bottle. "It's really not as terrible as I make it sound," she said, standing up and heading for the kitchen, Serena a step behind her. "Olivia tries her best. She does keep the bathroom spotless, but she never remembers to load or unload the dishwasher, and her underwear ends up all over our bedroom."

"Well, since you just used the word 'our' before 'bedroom', that implies dual ownership. It's probably an adjustment for her as well..."

"It's not that bad, but between her and Calvin... He's a great kid. I like having him around, but –"

Serena patted Alex's hand in understanding and practically forced her into the kitchen chair, confiscating the bottle of wine and getting out the glasses herself to save her friend the effort. "It's completely reasonable to stress out after so many big life changes. Have you talked to Olivia about this?"

"Today, before I came over. I laid down the law, trust me."

"And how did she take it?" Serena asked as she opened a drawer for the corkscrew.

Before Alex could answer, a red-faced and slightly damp-haired Abbie Carmichael wandered into the kitchen, her bare feet slapping on the tile. Alex immediately glanced down and noticed her uncovered legs, frowning in response. "I thought I told you to put on pants," she said, taking the full wineglass that Serena offered her a little too quickly, almost letting the liquid spill over the rim and onto her skirt.

"Since when do I listen to you? Besides, Serena likes it when I walk around the apartment in a tank top and panties." Abbie slumped down in a chair next to Alex, obviously in no hurry to get dressed any time soon.

"I can't argue with that," said Serena, taking another sip of her wine and swirling the remainder of the red around in the bottom of her glass. This particular vintage was supposed to be lingered over, but the three friends had decided to forego the pleasure of savoring it in favor of getting drunk faster.

"At least it wasn't a thong," the taller blonde muttered under her breath. She slumped against the back of the chair, allowing the warmth to blossom up from her stomach and spread across her cheeks, not sure whether it was a result of her embarrassment or the wine.

"Relax a little, Cabot," Abbie drawled, "take the stick out of your ass."

Alex frowned, resisting the childish urge to stick out her tongue. "If you don't shut up, I'll be more than happy to put that stick up your ass, Abigail Carmichael."

"She won't like it," said Serena. "Squeals like a little girl. I don't suggest trying." Unlike Alex, Abbie did not hesitate to stick out her tongue.

"Oh my God, you are so perverted and annoying." Alex took off her glasses and wiped them on the hem of her shirt. "Both of you give me a headache. Why did I come over here?"

"Because you lo-o-ove us," Abbie sing-songed.

"If you really loved me, you'd put on some pants. I did warn you before I came over."

It was Abbie's turn to frown. "Obviously, your warning wasn't enough. I reject the confinement of pants!" she declared, stealing Serena's glass of wine and taking a sip.

Serena shrugged, deciding that this was one battle that she did not want to help Alex fight. She knew when to give in. "Works for me..."

"Hey, you two are my best friends, but I could do without the mental image of, you know–"

Abbie and Serena shared a glance with each other and rolled their eyes in unison. "Prude."

"Yeah. Total prude."

"Why hasn't Benson fixed that by now?"

Alex sighed and leaned her head over the back of the kitchen chair's frame, actually enjoying the strain it put on her neck muscles. She stared at the ceiling so that she wouldn't have to look at her half-naked hostess. "I'm not drunk enough to answer that question yet. Give me a refill, Serena."


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty-Three:**

"Hey Liv, I'm home, are you awake?" Alex called out softly as she crept into the apartment. All of the lights were off, and she didn't flick the switch, not wanting to disturb Olivia or Calvin if they happened to be asleep somewhere in the living room. It wasn't an uncommon sight to find one (or both) of them snoring on the couch lately. Everything was silent, so she continued through the dark, feeling her way by keeping one hand along the wall and using the table by the front door as a guide.

"Liv?" she tried again, keeping her voice low. Even if Calvin and Liv had miraculously tucked themselves in without her pestering for once, she still didn't want to bother them if they really were asleep.

"In the bedroom, blondie," a familiar voice replied in a half-whisper. "Did you have a good time with Abbie and Serena?"

"Yep. We finished the whole bottle." Kicking off her shoes in the hallway even though they wouldn't make much noise on the carpet, Alex tiptoed down the dark hallway, hoping that no one had left any stray items for her to trip over. As she turned the corner, she noticed a faint crack of light coming from beneath the bedroom door. Olivia was obviously not ready for bed yet. Alex smiled softly. Maybe she would finally get lucky again tonight.

Turning the handle, Alex slipped into the bedroom and had to bite her lower lip to keep from laughing. Unfortunately, she was unable to prevent an undignified snort from escaping anyway. "Olivia! You are such a dork!"

There, positioned directly at the foot of their bed, was the couch from the living room. "Well, you said you wanted me to do you on the couch..." The detective gave her a sheepish shrug, which Alex found absolutely adorable. "But I just couldn't think of a way to guarantee that Calvin wouldn't come out of his room for a midnight snack."

Alex gave up trying to keep her composure and burst out laughing. Instantly, she clapped a hand over her mouth to muffle the sound. "You keep finding new, creative ways to remind me why I fell in love with you, don't you?" she said in between giggles, reaching down to undo the buttons of her blouse. Even though she was currently out of a job, she hadn't abandoned her professional wardrobe. Besides, Olivia liked it when she dressed up... or, more accurately, when she dressed down.

"I have to find ways to keep you interested..." Olivia headed in Alex's direction with a swagger in her step, settling her hands around the attorney's waist and caressing her hips through the fabric of her skirt.

"You mean ways to drive me crazy," Alex corrected, peeling off her blouse and reaching behind her back to pinch open the clasp of her bra. She let it fall to the floor, enjoying the way that Olivia's already dark brown eyes grew even darker at the sight of her breasts. After giving her lover a nice long look, Alex reached down to unzip her skirt, but Olivia batted her hands away.

"No. I want to help. Besides, this is mine." Olivia stripped Alex of her skirt with practiced ease, pleased to see that the attorney had forgone stockings out of sheer laziness. Apparently, Abbie and Serena weren't important enough to cover her legs for. Olivia normally appreciated Alex's legs in pretty stockings, but right now, they would just be in the way.

Alex arched one perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "Excuse me? What's yours?"

"This," Olivia clarified, snapping the waistband of Alex's panties before reaching around to grab two firm handfuls of her ass. The lawyer's breath hitched, but she gave Olivia a sly smile.

"I suppose you can use that particular body part, if you want..."

"That's not all that's mine," Olivia said, trailing her palms down Alex's bare legs and taking her underwear down along with them. "These are mine, too." Alex trembled slightly at the soft touches, chewing on her lower lip and almost pouting when Olivia's hands left her. She started to complain, but changed her mind when she realized that Olivia was taking off her tank top.

That gave Alex an idea. "Yeah, well, these are mine," she said, reaching forward to squeeze Olivia's breasts as soon as the shirt was partially over her head. Olivia sighed in pleasure as both of her nipples were captured between a thumb and forefinger, and Alex reveled in her minor victory. She would let Olivia win eventually, but that didn't mean she was going to give up without testing her a little.

After a few more moments, Olivia managed to shrug off her shirt and remove Alex's hands from her breasts, albeit reluctantly. "No. You told me to do you on the couch, so I'm doing you on the couch. Stop trying to distract me."

"Maybe I want to fuck _you_ on the couch," Alex said, placing a hand on her hip and shifting her weight to one side. Olivia immediately decided that all of Alex's sassy poses looked even more delicious when she was naked.

"Ooh, you're swearing now? I thought you were trying to quit."

Alex ignored Olivia's taunt and started to push her backwards onto the oddly-positioned living room couch. "I am," she said airily, pulling at the waistband of the yoga pants that her lover had obviously taken from her side of the closet, since they were a very snug fit around the flair of Olivia's hips.

"I bet I can make you swear again."

The lawyer's eyes lit up at the thought of a challenge. She would give in to Olivia eventually, of course, but she was going to make the detective work for it first. "Fine... since you did promise to do me on the couch..." Alex took one last opportunity to rub the full length of her naked upper body along Olivia's before settling down on the other side of the couch, letting her head loll back onto the cushions and spreading her legs. "Pleasure me, woman."

Olivia was torn between amusement at Alex's playful, cavalier attitude and the delicious picture she made, skin slightly pink with the flush of arousal, legs parted for her, the tips of her breasts pointing out. The blonde was absolutely stunning in every way. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Olivia got up off the couch and walked around to the foot of the bed, pulling out her secret weapon from beneath the duvet. Holding it up in her right hand, she waved the red jackrabbit vibrator at Alex playfully. "I remember a certain sexy lawyer teasing me with this on a certain sexy video that she sent me while she was away. I thought it was time to show her how much I... enjoyed... her performance."

Alex's eyes widened, and she instantly realized that she was a goner. If Olivia's teasing so far was any indication, she was really in for it. Using the foot of the bed to give herself a boost, Olivia climbed over the back of the couch instead of walking back around, settling comfortably in the cradle of Alex's warm thighs and leaning down to kiss her. Alex accepted her detective's weight gladly, automatically responding to the silky feel of Olivia's lips covering hers. She had wanted to kiss Olivia the second she walked in the door, but when fireworks exploded behind her eyes in bursts of red, she didn't regret waiting. She had to be the luckiest woman in the world if Olivia's kisses still did this to her after all these months. Alex was positive that nothing would change in the next fifty years or so, either.

"Mm," she said, jolting slightly when a low humming sound startled her. Olivia had switched on the vibrator and was holding it against her outer thigh as her other hand reached up to caress one of Alex's excited breasts, making sure to circle her nipple and give it a friendly tug.

"You might wanna rethink our bet," Olivia teased between the wet kisses and nips she gave to the side of Alex's throat. "I'm not just gonna make you swear. I'm gonna make you scream."

Despite that lust-filled promise, Alex couldn't seem to convince Olivia to hurry things along. She certainly didn't need much foreplay at all – with a bit of verbal sparring and a few strategic touches, Alex was already wet and needy – but the detective seemed to enjoy making her wait for it. Steadfastly ignoring the way Alex's pelvis pressed against hers, searching for contact, Olivia explored all of her lover's upper body with her lips, teeth, and tongue while she continued to trail the vibrator along Alex's lower half.

Alex sighed in relief when Olivia finally took a straining nipple between her lips, flicking the nub with her tongue and humming in satisfaction, but that relief quickly turned to frustration when she realized that Olivia was making no other progress. "Oh-liv-i-a," she whimpered, weaving her fingers through her lover's dark hair as she tried to grind against the detective's thigh. "Stop being difficult."

"What did I tell you? This is mine..." Olivia reached beneath Alex and gave her another playful squeeze. "This is mine..." She returned to Alex's breast, blowing over the tip and making Alex flinch at the bite of cool air where Olivia's warm mouth had been. "And this is definitely mine." For the briefest of moments, Olivia let the very tip of the thrumming toy's head press between Alex's lips, taking it away almost immediately. " Since they're mine, I get to play with them when I feel like it."

Alex's eyes closed as a fresh wave of arousal crashed over her, creating another flood of wetness and making her squeeze her legs together uncomfortably, trying to trap the toy between them. _"J'ai envie de toi..."_

"I know you do, sweetie... be patient."

Breathing heavily, Alex was amazed at just how needy she felt. In only a few short minutes, Olivia had already melted her into a puddle. Her lover continued to tease, pressing the shaft of the rabbit against swollen outer lips, circling her entrance without fully penetrating her. The plastic protrusion at the front end settled directly over her, and the vibrations coming from it made her knees flex. Somehow, she managed to keep her legs open, not wanting to do anything to discourage Olivia now that she was finally getting around to fulfilling her promise.

 _"Je veux que tu me fasses jouir..."_

"So impatient!"

 _"Baise-moi..."_

Olivia pressed several quick kisses to Alex's lips, which the attorney greedily tried to deepen. "French doesn't count," Olivia whispered instead, refusing to give Alex what she wanted just yet.

"Liv..." Finally realizing that her pleas were having no effect, Alex surrendered. "Fuck me."

And as much as she enjoyed teasing, Olivia enjoyed giving Alex what she wanted even more. She was unable to deny such a well-worded request.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty-Four:**

"Ahh..." a whimper of satisfaction escaped from Alex's throat as Olivia slid the rabbit home, ending the teasing suspense with one slow thrust. The deep vibrations made Alex flinch at first, but then she arched her back in ecstasy, trying to push her hips down harder against Olivia's hand.

Feeling smug, Olivia pressed kisses to Alex's cheeks and forehead, enjoying the glazed look in her lover's sweet blue eyes. "You are so beautiful, baby," she murmured beside the attorney's ear, offering encouragement. "And you're even more beautiful when I'm fucking you." That one little word made Alex's hips buck sharply, an uncontrolled reaction. Olivia smiled when she felt Alex's wetness running over the shaft of the vibrator and onto her hand.

Unfortunately for Olivia, but fortunately for Alex, the former ADA's orgasm came fast and hard, shattering over her and making her scream as her entire body locked up tight. Determined as she was, Olivia was still forced to stop her thrusts as Alex's muscles clutched at the rabbit, refusing to release it for several timeless seconds. As soon as she could, Olivia resumed the twisting, sliding motion of her wrist, making Alex shudder again.

"Mon dieu," she panted when she finally got her breath back. "Liv. Liv. God. Stop. You have to stop or I'll die."

Sensing that Alex was serious, Olivia gently removed the jackrabbit from its snug home, feeling a little cheated that she hadn't had much time to play. Waiting to make sure Alex was watching, she made a show of cleaning the shaft with her tongue, moaning her approval of the taste. The light color of Alex's eyes darkened for a moment, and she began to wiggle under Olivia's weight, obviously wanting something.

"I don't know why that word did it for me tonight," Alex admitted softly. "I don't normally approve of it."

Olivia gave a mental shrug, but kept her body still in deference to Alex, who was clinging to her with both arms and legs. "I know you don't. That's why I said it."

"It's a crude verb for rough, emotionless sex. And that's not what we do together..."

The detective thought about it for a moment. "You can fuck and make love at the same time," she finally answered.

With some of her strength returning, Alex managed to scoot down along the couch until she was kissing Olivia's breasts, sucking eagerly at a hard nipple. "I'm still horny," she mumbled around the bud, releasing her hold only to catch it again with the very edges of her teeth. "I can't go again so soon, too sensitive... but I want to taste you."

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Olivia obligingly lifted her hips, allowing Alex to shift even further beneath her. Truthfully, the detective always felt a little awkward kneeling over Alex's face, but she knew that her lover enjoyed that position, and so she didn't resist.

"Explain it to me," Alex drawled, staring up the length of Olivia's body as the brunette knelt over her. "Tell me how we can make love and fuck at the same time."

"It's like – oh! Aaah Venn Diagram..." Olivia stuttered, crying out in surprise when Alex's tongue did a full sweep of her folds, pausing to curl around the hard, swollen bud in front. "Lex, I can't..."

Alex pulled away, just barely. "Keep talking," she said. Her voice was muffled, but clearly understandable.

"There's a place where the two overlap... mmm... A place where... Sometimes our bodies go a little crazy, but-" Olivia's voice trailed off in a hiss as Alex's tongue circled her entrance, pressing inside and making her legs shake. It was difficult to hold on to her train of thought with the warm tongue thrusting in and out of her, but she continued as best she could. "But there's still love, a c-oooh, a connection. So it's making love."

Olivia felt rather than heard Alex's moan of approval vibrating against her. She gasped as the attorney's sharp nails trailed along her outer thighs, raising goosebumps on the bare skin there. Looking down past her breasts, Olivia watched as Alex shifted slightly to wrap her lips around the straining, sensitive point begging for her attention. From her position, she couldn't see everything, but what she glimpsed was beautiful: the upper portion of Alex's enraptured face, her soft hair, and the dart of a pink tongue.

Wanting more contact, Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia's waist from below, urging the detective to grind down harder on her face. She hesitated at first, not wanting to hurt the woman beneath her, but Alex insisted, gripping Olivia firmly by the hips and pulling her down, holding her in place.

Olivia literally screamed in frustration, although it was a relatively muffled scream, when Alex tilted her head away for a second time. "Keep talking."

The detective groaned. "God, Alex... Dunno what to say..." she stuttered, torn between exasperation and pleasure that bordered on pain.

"Do you need inspiration, baby?" Alex paused to bestow another long lick on her twitching lover. "Why don't you tell me what we're going to do once I make you come?" Both of them knew that wouldn't take long once Alex stopped teasing.

Even in such a vulnerable position, Olivia couldn't help falling back on a snarky response. Alex was rubbing off on her. "Sleep? Ow!" At first, Olivia was upset by the sharp nip that the lawyer had given her inner thigh, but then she was grateful for it, because the fading pain gave her something to concentrate on besides the torturous tongue that was driving her to distraction.

"We could... grab a shower," Olivia suggested, keeping her voice slow and deliberate as Alex did her best to make speech impossible. It was a valiant attempt, and Olivia's voice broke on the word 'shower'. "I might have learned how to use the pulse setting on the shower head while you were away."

Unwilling to pull away from the intoxicating taste and scent that was Olivia, Alex simply moaned her approval, allowing the vibrations to tease Olivia even further. "I could show yooou... God, you're good at that. Mmm, Alex, please..." When Alex's tongue thrust inside of her again, full stop, Olivia gave herself over to the contractions, relieved that her lover had decided to have mercy on her.

Alex felt Olivia sway slightly and hurried to grip the brunette's legs, helping both of them settle into a slightly more comfortable spooning position. The lawyer was surprised to find herself as the spooner instead of the spoonee, a reverse of their usual sleeping routine, but she wasn't about to complain. She had everything she wanted.

"I love doing that," she said dreamily. "I really, really love doing that."

That coaxed an exhausted laugh from Olivia. "I'm not sure whether I should say thank you or you're welcome."

"Say, 'Alex, honey, I'll move the couch back into the living room while you start the shower because I know it will drive you crazy and you won't be able to fall asleep.'"

"Alex, honey, I'm not moving the couch in the middle of the goddamn night just because you're anal retentive about furniture and everything else."

Alex sat up, disrupting their comfortable position. "Liv, I'm going to turn on the water, and when we come back in here for bed, that couch had better be gone." She attempted to climb over Olivia's limp body, but couldn't manage to do it gracefully. Olivia was lucky enough to be greeted by the sight of a very tempting backside, however, which she slapped automatically as soon as she had lined up her target. Alex jumped, squeaked, and then tossed a saucy wink over her shoulder as she sauntered towards the bathroom.

Olivia took a moment to gather her strength, only pushing herself up when she heard the hiss of water spraying from the showerhead in the adjacent bathroom. She started to get to her feet, pausing when she felt a familiar texture pressing against her thigh. Smirking to herself, she picked up the abandoned vibrator, turning it over and squinting in order to read the tiny, almost illegible print near the base. "Waterproof, hmm?" she said to herself, switching it on to make sure that the batteries hadn't worn out. For some reason, the thrum of the toy felt satisfying in her hand. She tossed it casually into her left hand and held it behind her back, strolling towards the slightly cracked door. Olivia was confident that she could find a way to make Alex forget about moving the couch until tomorrow morning.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty-Five:**

Alex rolled her shoulders luxuriously under the warm spray of the shower, loosening her back and rinsing strawberry scented conditioner from her hair. If she guessed right, she would only have a minute, maybe two, to finish washing. Although her lover's recent climax had been powerful, Alex knew that Olivia recovered quickly, and when the detective got her second wind, she would waste no time joining her in the shower.

Sure enough, a flash of darkness on the other side the frosted glass alerted Alex to the brunette's presence, but she still pretended to be surprised when Olivia opened the door and slipped in beside her, standing close enough for their hips to brush. A freshly damp hand snaked around Alex's waist, pulling the former ADA closer.

"Did you move the couch?" Alex asked. She could tell that Olivia was smiling even though her vision was slightly blurry without her glasses. The shower spray didn't help either.

"I had other things on my mind."

Alex pressed her lips together, giving Olivia a chastising look. She couldn't tell if the detective bought it, though, because her expression was mostly a tan smear. "Like?"

"Like how soft your skin is when it's slick with water and shower gel," Olivia purred, running the hand that was hooked around Alex's waist up and down the curve of her side. Strangely, she didn't pull the attorney into a full embrace or use her other hand. "Like the taste of your lips. Do they still taste like me?" Alex found herself swept up into a deep, probing kiss. It was confident and hungry, and if Olivia had used her teeth, Alex might have considered it aggressive... "Mmhmm... I thought so."

"Don't try and distract me," Alex said, but the break in her voice gave her away.

Olivia ignored the lawyer's weak protests, finally bringing her other hand around and switching on the vibrator that she had kept hidden behind her back. Alex couldn't make out the object right away, but she recognized the hum over the hiss of water droplets striking the floor of the shower.

"Liv..." Olivia already had her ready and willing despite her lackluster show of resistance, but this time, she had something different in mind for them. "Not that." Obviously a little hurt, Olivia let the toy fall from her hand, ignoring the way it slid across the shower's water-slicked floor. "No. What I meant was... I just want your hand. It makes me feel connected to you."

Her confidence returning instantly, Olivia nibbled on Alex's lower lip, sighing when the blonde's arms found their way around her neck. Gentle fingers trailed through her freshly dampened hair, tugging the wisps at the back of her neck, and Olivia growled with renewed energy. "Does it make you feel like you belong to me?" she asked, bestowing kisses on Alex's lips between the words, letting her tongue dart out to sweep inside of the attorney's mouth. Alex was content to take what Olivia gave, but she sighed softly with approval every time their lips brushed. "Do you want me to touch you now?"

"Yes," she mumbled into Olivia's kisses. She didn't need to ask twice. Olivia reached down, sliding two fingers inside of her all too willing lover.

Before Alex could adjust to the new fullness, Olivia's hand was already retreating, causing the prosecutor to whimper in protest. Instead of waiting impatiently for Olivia to deliver on her promises, Alex felt like she was one step behind, barely able to keep up with the wonderful things Olivia was doing to her body. At some point, the detective had pinned her against the shower wall, the tendons in her wrist flexing as she drove as deep inside of Alex as she could get. Olivia had captured her lips in another kiss, and her left hand was urging one of Alex's legs to wrap around her waist.

Since she couldn't sort through all the different sensations she was experiencing, Alex surrendered to them, letting the pleasure that Olivia was giving override everything else. The only thought in her mind was that she hoped this would last forever.

...

"God, please..." Abbie's hips jerked up as Serena's head dipped to make contact, an answer to the low, shuddering plea. The slender blonde brushed the lightest of kisses over Abbie's folds, bringing her thumbs forward to spread smooth, swollen outer lips, exposing everything. She took her time, lazily sweeping her tongue over Abbie's opening before curling it around her and suckling, making the federal prosecutor's legs tremble where they were hooked over Serena's shoulders.

Abbie's abdomen twitched, her entire body quivering as she tried to hold still, unable to prevent a sigh from escaping her throat. Serena paused, stealing a glance up her lover's gloriously naked body, but not easing up. Abbie's lips were parted, a brighter shade of red than usual because they had been kissed over and over again, and her eyes were clenched shut, her breasts rising and falling with quick, sharp pants.

Serena could tell at the Texan was holding back, trying not to let go, wanting to extend the moment for as long as possible. She released the hard bundle of nerves that she had captured, tilting her chin to nuzzle Abbie's inner thigh. "Sweetheart..." Serena smiled when familiar dark eyes peeked open, still clouded with unsatisfied desire as they stared down at her.

"Don't stop! Not now! Cabot already cock-blocked me once tonight..." Abbie cried out in frustration, not even realizing how ridiculous her choice of slang sounded.

"Relax. Just let me take you there." Serena began to work in earnest, alternating predictable, long strokes of her tongue that almost came in rhythm with unexpected variations, a graze of her teeth, a gentle suck, a slow swirl. Abbie arched her back, trying to coax Serena into finishing her off by angling her hips invitingly, but the pace didn't change.

The blonde continued her leisurely exploration, seeking every soft place, every tender area that made Abbie's bones dissolve. She could feel her lover's heels press tighter against her back whenever she found a particularly sensitive spot. Using the warm palm of her left hand, Serena reached up to caress Abbie's lower belly, stroking in steady, soothing circles. Abbie hardly noticed the touch at first, but when the first two fingers of Serena's right hand probed forward, gently curling forwards and entering her, the intensity of the pressure on her stomach surprised her, coaxing a rush of thick fluid from somewhere deep inside her over-stimulated body. The orgasm that she had been trying to hold back overlapped with it, breaking over her in several quick, violent pulses, but lasting for what felt like endless seconds.

But Serena didn't take that as a signal to stop.

She went further, pressing her fingers as deep inside as they would go, causing Abbie to release a choked sob, her head tipping helplessly back onto the pillows. The blonde's lips and tongue were still moving over her, stroking her, teasing her, and the aftershocks of her first orgasm began to speed up again as she approached a second.

Speeding up her rhythm, Serena pulled her lips away and replaced it with her thumb, rubbing in a firm circle as she placed a string of kisses between Abbie's hipbones. Slowly, she nipped and licked her way back up Abbie's torso, pausing at her breasts to give the excited tips some well-deserved attention.

When she finally reached Abbie's mouth, she didn't hesitate to lean down for a kiss. The Texan moaned, tasting herself on Serena's lips and pressing her pelvis shifting forward to impale Serena's fingers even more deeply. She unclenched her hands, which had been clutching at the bedsheets, and tangled them in Serena's hair, holding on a little too tightly as her hips froze and her entire body shuddered.

After a long moment, Serena pulled back to study her work. Abbie's face was a darker shade of pink than usual. Damp strands of hair clung to her neck and cheeks, and her skin was blotchy where Serena had marked her. She was beautiful. Perfect, in fact. "God, I love you," she blurted out, not even realizing that the words had been forming in her head.

Abbie responded by lazily wrapping her arms around Serena's waist, coaxing the blonde to rest more weight on top of her. "Me too," she murmured, her voice slightly husky from the recent pleasure she had just experienced. The words didn't comfort Serena, who had stiffened her body and was obviously fighting the urge to panic and roll away. "You weren't ready to tell me that, were you?"

Serena closed her eyes and sighed, wondering when Abbie had learned how to read minds. "I guess it's to late to take it back. It's the truth, I just didn't mean to say it... and I'm not sure if I'm prepared for what it means..."

It wasn't the first time that Serena had spoken those three little words. She had said them before, mostly as a bribe to try and guilt the dark-haired prosecutor into staying with her years ago, but now they held the weight of experience and commitment, and part of her still wasn't convinced that Abbie could completely renounce her old ways...

"I love you, too. But if you're not ready to hear that, I'll wait."

Serena rested her forehead against Abbie's neck, nuzzling the side of her shoulder and letting her muscles smooth themselves out. She didn't know what to think about the fast pace of their developing relationship, and she wasn't sure how ready she was to let go of her fears, but she had to admit that this moment, and this woman, made her incredibly happy. That would have to be enough.


	26. Chapter 26

**Part Six:**

 **Chapter Twenty-Six:**

Casey Novak woke up with a searing ache in her shoulders that stretched up into her jaw and pounded behind her eyes. She groaned, unclenching her teeth to try and relieve some of the building pressure, and held her pillow down over her head, blocking out the faintly glowing light of her digital alarm clock. The darkness helped take the edge off of her pain, but didn't offer a complete cure.

Reaching out a hand, the former ADA tried to find the button that would dim the light on her clock, or at least turn it so that the screen was facing in the other direction. Her hand bumped into the spine of a cheap, plastic-covered book instead, knocking it off the nightstand and onto the floor.

"Ummm..." The redhead slowly peeked out from underneath her pillow. "Come back here," she muttered, too tired and sore to care that she was speaking to an inanimate object. She reached over the side of the bed, groping for her Bar exam study guide. Lately, re-taking the Bar hadn't seemed like such a bad idea. She already knew all of the material that would be on the test backwards and forwards, but simply purchasing the book had been a difficult step.

A few years ago – 'Hell, even a few months ago, I can admit it,' Casey thought to herself – she had been certain that her disbarment was permanent. Even though New York was one of the few states that allowed disbarred attorneys to re-take the test in certain circumstances, Casey had never let herself think that she might be an exception. Remembering the career she had lost was too painful.

Swinging her legs over the side of the mattress, she cracked her toes and stretched, ignoring the sudden rush of vertigo that made her head swim as she sat up. Tossing the study guide onto the foot of her bed, she lumbered towards the door in search of the pain relievers she had in the mixed bottle sitting at the front of her medicine cabinet. Her spine hurt, her shoulders hurt, her neck hurt, and her head hurt most of all, the result of too many nights spent on the couch with her cell phone in one hand and a baseball bat in the other.

There had been no word on her case in the past two days. She knew that the guys in the lab needed time to go through the evidence, and a case like hers might get pushed to the backburner if something more urgent came up, especially since Olivia was handling it for her under the radar, so to speak.

Casey reached out to flip the light switch as she stepped into the kitchen, but thought better of it. The sudden brightness might make her headache worse. Instead, she continued to fumble around in the half-dark, using the illumination of the oven timer clock to feel her way to the medicine cabinet. But the shadows of her kitchen weren't right. The familiar shapes had changed. Stepping backwards carefully, Casey squinted her eyes in preparation and turned on the light. When her eyes adjusted, the sight that greeted her made her gasp in surprise.

"What the hell?" The entire kitchen looked like a hurricane had blown through it, doors hanging off of cupboards and dishes broken on the floor. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph..." she whispered, her eyes wide with shock despite her dilated pupils. She didn't even realize that she had borrowed one of Alex's colloquialisms.

After the original surprise wore off, her first instinct was to reach for the nearest object that could be used as a weapon, which happened to be a kitchen knife. Folding her fingers around the handle, she crept towards the phone mounted on her wall, dialing 911 with her left hand and pressing the button for speaker. If this creep had broken into her house, she needed more help than Olivia could give her.

...

"Your phone or mine?" Alex asked sleepily, shifting underneath Olivia's weight. She had been roused from slumber by the wonderful sensation of the detective's mouth lavishing attention on her nipples, and even though she had only been awake for about a minute, she did not appreciate the interruption.

"Mine," Olivia said from where her chin was resting between Alex's breasts.

"I knew that," Alex lied. She was currently still out of a job, but she had gotten plenty of early morning phone calls during her time at the DA's office. "Are you on call?"

"Uh-uh. I don't know who – hold on..." Olivia stood up, providing Alex with a nice view of her naked figure as she hunted around the bedroom for her cell. She answered the call as soon as she found it. "Benson... What? Let me get dressed, I'm coming over. Did you call it in? ... Good... I'm calling Stabler... Why? Because he'll kill me if I don't. He likes you... Yes, really. Be glad I'm not calling Cragen, Munch, and Fin... I'm on my way. Do you need me to stay on the phone with you? I can... okay..."

While she was talking into her phone, Olivia half-ran over to Alex's walk-in closet, struggling to pull out some clothes and shoes.

Alex curled up on top of the warm space Olivia had left behind, trying to figure out who would call at nearly five in the morning besides Elliot, Munch, Fin, or Cragen.

"Alex? Do we have to leave?"

The soft voice coming from the door to the bedroom nearly made the attorney jump out of her skin. A sleepy looking Calvin was standing in the doorway wearing his nightshirt and rubbing his eyes. Alex immediately pulled the covers up to her chin. "What? No, we don't have to go anywhere, Calvin. Olivia just has to check on something. Can you turn around for a minute so I can get my robe? Then you can come sit with me if you want and we can say goodbye to Olivia."

The young boy obediently turned his back for the twenty seconds it took Alex to grab her robe from the hook on the closet door. She nearly ran into Olivia, who was dressed except for a shirt and trying to pull on her second sock. "What's up, Liv?" Alex asked when she noticed that the detective was no longer on the phone.

"Casey called me. The creep that's been bothering her has escalated. She woke up just now and found her kitchen and living room trashed, but she's fine. The police are on their way, but..."

"I'll hold down the fort." Alex gave Olivia a quick peck on the lips and pressed a shirt into her hands, glad that everything went with the khaki pants that the brunette was wearing.

Olivia took a moment to give one of Alex's cheeks a firm grope from behind before leaving the closet and stepping back out into the bedroom. "Hey, champ," she said, pulling Calvin into a brief hug. "Did we wake you up?"

"Yeah. Do you have to go to work?"

The detective couldn't help feeling a little guilty when she heard the note of disappointment and concern in Calvin's voice. "Kind of. I should be back soon, okay?" Hoping that Alex would be able to reassure any of Calvin's doubts, she hurried out into the hall and went to grab the keys to Alex's Lamborghini from the hook by the front door.

Alex was next to emerge from the closet, and after making sure she was fully covered, she sat down on the couch that was still positioned at the foot of the bed.

"Why is the sofa in here?" Calvin asked, sitting next to Alex and scooting closer against her side when he heard the front door close.

The attorney silently wished that Calvin were slightly less perceptive. "Olivia did it to play a joke on me. I'm sorry we woke you up..."

"Alex, can I ask you something?"

"You may," Alex corrected gently. "I told you, questions are good."

"How come you didn't have any clothes on when I came in? Were you having sex?"

Alex almost choked on air at that question. Falling back on her lawyer instincts, she posed one of her own. "Calvin, why would you ask that?"

The boy shrugged. "Don't people get naked? They said that on TV." Alex made a mental note to monitor Calvin's television time more closely. "Why do people have sex?"

"Hold on, too many questions at once. Give me a minute," Alex stumbled over her answer. How did this kid even know what sex was? When she was ten, she had been too busy with books, cello lessons, and trying to impress her father to ask about things like sex. It was truly a different age...

Eventually, Alex decided not to insult Calvin's intelligence by lying. "Yes, people usually don't wear clothes," she said, her head still spinning. No defense attorney had ever made her feel this confused. "Two people make love to show that they care about each other, Calvin, and sometimes so that they can start a family."

"But two girls can't have a baby..."

"Not the usual way, no," Alex hedged, looking frantically for an escape. "Didn't you learn about this in school? Ugh, why do I even pay property taxes?" Never in a million years had she pictured herself discussing the facts of life with a ten-year-old at five in the morning.

"No... Is it how you make a baby? And you have to get naked?"

"I guess ten is old enough. Come on, let's go to the kitchen," Alex sighed, shepherding the boy out of the bedroom. "I think I'm going to need a pen and paper..."

...

I recently re-watched a very old movie called 'The Easy Way' with Cary Grant in it, and it had a scene where this kid named Jimmy John asked him about the birds and the bees... so this came out. xD It's mostly a filler chapter, but hopefully it amused you a little. Also, THANK YOU and congratulations to my fellow citizens of New York State. We can get hitched now! I'm so proud that my (Republican) state Senator voted for Marriage equality. 


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven:

Olivia was relieved to see several police cruisers already on-scene when she pulled up next to Casey's apartment building. It meant that Alex's fancy car was less likely to be jacked, but more importantly, it assured her that Casey had somebody with her in the apartment. As she locked up the Lamborghini and approached the door, she noticed a uni standing out front. Olivia automatically reached for her shield, but there was no need.

"Detective Benson?" he asked. She nodded. "Come right up. Casey Novak told us that she called you."

"Is the scene secured?" the professional in Olivia couldn't help asking.

"Yes. We got here just a few minutes after the call."

"Burglary unit?"

"You beat them here. We just sent over the closest beat cops to make sure no one tried to re-enter the apartment."

The staircase was wide enough for them to walk abreast, and when the officer opened the door, Olivia was surprised to see that the front entrance was mostly untouched. The only thing that seemed slightly out of place was a medium sized black purse lying on its side next to her feet. Casey wouldn't leave her purse sitting on the floor…

Kneeling carefully, Olivia studied the bag. "Got a glove?" she asked, and the uni pulled a pair out of his pocket.

"Thought you might ask."

The detective brushed her hair away from her forehead, considering that maybe a shorter cut might be called for in the next few days, and put on one of the gloves before opening the purse. "Wallet's still here… with cash and ID, but… nothing else?" That seemed strange, especially for Casey. She had personally seen the former ADA remove lipstick, pens, and even a handkerchief from her purse in the past. Someone had taken them.

Leaving the purse where it was, Olivia got back to her feet and headed for the kitchen. She had never been in Casey's apartment before, and so she took a moment to look around and take stock of the place. The destruction seemed completely random. Personal items and mementos had been targeted almost exclusively. Pictures were smashed, and Casey's softball trophies were snapped in half, but the furniture was mostly untouched.

"Olivia?"

The familiar voice halted Olivia's careful examination, and she looked up to see a pale and tired-looking Casey Novak staring at her. The redhead's complexion seemed washed out, and she had bags under both eyes. "I'm glad you're here."

Reading the lawyer's body language, Olivia stepped forward and opened her arms, allowing Casey to fall into them and hug her. Knowing when people wanted physical comfort and when they wanted to be left alone was a special gift of hers. Right now, Casey didn't want to feel alone. "I'm sorry I called you so late at night…"

"It's fine. I would have been angry if you didn't call me. We're friends, Casey. I want to help you."

"Do you think it was – I know it was…"

"Yeah, I'm positive it's the same guy that's been sending you messages. He didn't take your wallet or anything valuable as far as I can tell, but he went through your purse."

Casey frowned. For some reason, having someone go through her purse, especially a stalker, felt more intrusive than she expected. Then again, this entire night had felt intrusive. He had invaded her personal space and removed the sense of safety she felt in her own home.

"At least I have insurance," Casey muttered. "My paranoid mother made me purchase excellent coverage when I moved to New York. She thinks this city is filled with burglars and rapists… and my job didn't help. Do you think it's someone I prosecuted? Someone we met in one of my cases?"

"It could be," Olivia said. If you want, we can go over some of the old files together in the morning and pick out any names that strike a chord."

"Come in to the kitchen," Casey said, her voice sounding surprisingly calm considering the circumstances. "I'd offer you a place to sit, but I'm afraid the place is a mess."

Olivia patted the side of her arm reassuringly. "Don't worry about it, Case. None of this is your fault."

"I wonder about that," the redhead muttered.

"No, don't blame yourself for this. I've already been down this road with Alex, not to mention several other women who have been the victim of a crime. Perps do what they do because they are perps, not because you asked for it. Pissing someone off, intentionally or unintentionally, doesn't mean you wanted them to break into your apartment."

Casey sighed, but she recognized the truth in Olivia's words. "I see why all the kids love you and all the girls fall for you, Benson," she said, leaning against the kitchen table, one of the items of furniture that was still functional. "I mean, you know how to make people feel safe."

"It's my job, but I'm here because you're my friend. Have you gotten any more letters since the last batch?"

The former ADA nodded. "A few," she said. "I didn't open them. They were in a plastic bag on the counter the last time I checked, but in this mess, who knows where they ended up..."

"We'll get your place straightened up once we collect our evidence, Casey. I'll call in reinforcements if I need to. Now, tell me exactly what happened..."

...

Alex sighed with relief as she crumpled up the piece of notebook paper she had been doodling on and tossed it in the recycling bin. It had taken several attempts before she got the drawings right. Alex was an artist with words, perhaps, but an artist with pencil and paper she was not.

"Why me?" she groaned, letting her head loll back and rolling her shoulders to work the kinks out. Olivia had certainly taken her for one hell of a ride earlier. Her muscles were screaming.

Picking up another sheet that she had destroyed with her merciless scribbling, she glanced at it and snorted her disapproval. "What the hell is this supposed to be?" she asked herself, trying to remember...Ah. Female anatomy. _'You'd think someone that's spent as much time as I have investigating female anatomy would be able to replicate it better,'_ the attorney thought, but apparently, experience in the bedroom did not translate to pad and paper.

Fortunately, Calvin had been so overwhelmed with the scientific explanation Alex fed him that he quickly retired to his room to sleep for the next few hours, and his questions about the mechanics of the act itself were minimal. That left Alex with some time alone. Glancing at the oven clock, Alex was surprised to see that it was several minutes past eight in the morning. That meant it was time for coffee, and maybe a phone call to Jack McCoy. Scheduling a job interview might distract her from thoughts of Olivia and what she might be doing...

The shrill beep of the coffeemaker was a welcome distraction, and Alex coaxed her protesting body into a standing position. A minute later, she was padding back to the bedroom on bare feet, her hands wrapped around a warm mug of coffee. Settling on the mattress so that she was within easy reach of the night table, Alex reclined against the pile of pillows on Olivia's side of the bed. The detective was a pillow hog as well as a restless sleeper.

Alex scrolled through her contact list idly, wondering if it was too early to phone Jack. "To hell with it," she said aloud, trying to bolster her courage. "Jack's an insomniac anyway. He's probably already at the office." She pressed down with her thumb, finalizing the decision as she listened to the seemingly endless ringing.

"District Attorney Jack McCoy."

"What a pompous way to introduce yourself," Alex quipped. "I like it. And doesn't the almighty DA of New York County have Caller ID?"

"Not on our budget," Jack said gruffly. "Good to hear from you, Alexandra."

"I want to return from my leave of absence, Jack. I'm back in the states for good this time, and I'm going crazy sitting around the house."

The DA sighed, and Alex could picture him twirling the chord of his phone with his index finger. Jack had a personal cell phone, but insisted on using an old-fashioned desk phone for his office. "The last time I gave you a job, you bitched at me," Jack protested. "How do I know you won't complain again? We have a new ADA for your old unit, and I'm sure you don't want to be reassigned there permanently after being Bureau chief..."

"I don't care," Alex said, trying not to sound desperate. "It's got to be better than the impression of June Cleaver I've been doing the past few weeks. There would be... conflicts of interest if you reassigned me to Special Victims, though."

"Ah, yes, your torrid affair with Detective Benson. I've heard about it through the office grapevine."

"You mean Abbie called you to gossip," Alex translated. "Can't you use me as a floater? I'll take any cases you throw my way and bounce between units if I have to. My conviction rate and my history with the DA's office speak for themselves."

McCoy laughed. "If anything, you're overqualified, Alex. I'm mostly concerned that there won't be enough work to keep you busy. You know, you aren't the only name from the past that's come up in the last few days..."

The former ADA raised her eyebrows. "Oh? I'm not?"

"Someone called the office to inquire about Casey Novak the other day. It was actually rather strange. They wanted to know if she had reapplied for her old job. I told him we couldn't release that information, of course..."

Alex felt her heart skip a beat. "Wait, did you say 'him'?" She set aside her curiosity about whether or not Casey had reapplied for employment at the DA's office for another time.

"Yes. Why?"

"Just to be clear – a man called you –"

"My secretary–"

"– Your secretary, to find out whether Casey was looking for a job?"

"That's right. I only mentioned it because it was so unusual."

The blonde's voice was slightly breathless with excitement. "Would it surprise you to know that Casey has been receiving threatening letters over the past few weeks, and her apartment has been broken in to?"

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. "I suppose you should pay me a visit at my office as soon as possible. I'll expect Detective Benson with you."


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight:

Olivia glanced down at her cell phone, checking the caller ID as it vibrated in her hand. Alex. As much as she wanted to answer her girlfriend's call, she pressed the ignore button instead and put the phone away. "Who was that?" Casey asked. "Was it another case?"

"Just Alex," said Olivia. "She's probably wondering why I haven't come home yet. I'll call her back in a few minutes."

Casey smiled faintly. "I never thought I'd see the day another woman managed to domesticate Olivia Benson. It's too bad I'm not a lesbian."

"Trust me," Olivia muttered, "being a lesbian doesn't make relationships any simpler... and you have two periods to deal with, not just one."

"Yeah, but a girlfriend will bring you Advil and a heating pad instead of saying 'ewwww' and making himself scarce for the rest of the week."

"True. Maybe you just haven't been training your boyfriends well enough, Casey." Although Casey's sense of humor was beginning to return despite the destruction of her apartment, the former ADA still looked anxious, clenching and unclenching her hands as she constantly checked the time on the oven clock. "Look, the burglary unit hasn't finished going through the scene yet, and we're probably underfoot... why don't we head to SVU and grab your old case files," Olivia suggested. "We can get some breakfast and flip through them. Would that help make you feel more productive?" The detective could tell from Casey's body language that she was impatient to be doing something – anything – that might distract her from this nightmare.

The redhead nodded her approval. "That sounds like a good idea. You never know, maybe we'll find something."

"All right. Let's go. We can take Alex's car." Olivia laughed when Casey raised her eyebrows. "What?"

"What kind of car does Alex have?"

The brunette grinned. "You'll see..." Her phone vibrated in her pocket, and Olivia pulled it out again. Three missed calls from Alex. Seeing that her girlfriend was bound and determined to get a hold of her, Olivia typed out a quick text: 'getting files at SVU w/ Casey. Everything ok.' Hoping that would ease some of Alex's worries, Olivia turned off her phone so that it wouldn't distract her while she was driving. "All right, let's go."

...

"Christ, Olivia, what have I told you about answering your damn phone?" Alex practically shouted, slamming her phone a little too harshly down on the kitchen table. She had tried calling over and over again, but Olivia – serious, work-minded Olivia – refused to answer... as usual. The detective's brief text had only served to make Alex angrier.

Chewing on her lower lip to get her annoyance under control and center herself, the blonde picked up her phone again, glad to see that she hadn't cracked it, and typed out a response: 'McCoy has a lead. Meet me DA's office.'

Alex went searching for her purse, figuring that she had done all she could. "I guess I'm on my own this time," she mumbled to herself. The ADA had stopped chastising herself for talking out loud when she was alone years ago. Smart people talked to themselves, she reasoned. As long as she didn't start answering herself, she was okay.

Since Olivia had taken her car, Alex flagged a cab once she exited the building. On a whim, she told the driver to take her to One Hogan Place on the off chance that Olivia and Casey were still there. Maybe she could intercept them on her way to meet with McCoy. Alex tapped her fingers nervously on her thigh as the taxi stopped at a red light, one of her knees jumping in agitation. Olivia was going to give her gray hairs if she kept this up. Actually, the former ADA had already plucked a few from her blonde mane, but that was a secret she hoped she wouldn't have to reveal to her hairdresser for another five or ten years if she was lucky.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, and after several more texts to Olivia – none of which she answered, of course – the cab pulled up to Police Plaza. Alex practically threw her fare into the driver's lap before bolting out the door and across the sidewalk, nearly bumping in to Elliot, whose face was covered in donut glaze. "Awweks?" He said around a mouthful of powder and jelly.

Alex rolled her eyes and huffed in annoyance. "Isn't anyone around here doing anything useful?" she exclaimed, ignoring the funny look that Elliot gave her. "Have you seen Olivia?"

Elliot swallowed his mouthful of donut. "Just missed her," he said, his words much clearer this time. Alex smacked her forehead with her palm and groaned. "She and Casey were just–"

"Never mind. You can come with me instead. If Olivia's going to keep running around the city without letting me know where she's going, that's her problem."

Grabbing Elliot's sleeve, Alex dragged him back towards the road and hailed another cab. One stopped for them almost immediately. "Olivia told me you were good at that," Elliot said, sounding impressed. "Wait, where are we going?"

"To see McCoy. He wanted to meet with Olivia and me. Apparently, someone has been calling the DA's office and asking after Casey."

"Her stalker?" Elliot asked, holding the door of the cab open for Alex. "We could have taken my squad car for free," he pointed out.

"Don't care," Alex said, "this is faster."

Elliot looked almost offended. "I have sirens."

"You're not five years old, and this doesn't warrant sirens. Besides, have you seen how fast cabs go? Relatively speaking, of course... nothing can go too fast in the city, but taxis defy the laws of traffic and physics at the same time." Taking that as a challenge, the cab driver hit the gas and weaved in and out of the lanes ahead of him. "So, do you have any idea where Olivia's going?" Alex continued.

"I think she's taking Casey out to breakfast. They're going to look at some old case files and see if anything sticks out."

"She didn't tell you where she was going?"

Elliot pulled out his phone, but Alex shook her head and gestured for him to put it away. "She isn't picking up. I know it's not on purpose – she's probably just focusing on Casey. I think she feels guilty for letting it sit on the backburner up until now... I know she wishes it hadn't gotten to this point..."

"When I get my hands on whoever is doing this to her, I'll make him wish he'd never been conceived," the former marine muttered darkly.

Alex gave him a weak smile. "Maybe McCoy will let me prosecute the scumbag. I told him I wanted to get my foot back in the door at the DA's office."

That comment made Elliot's eyes widen. "You want to take your old job back? I mean, Hardwicke's all right I guess, but it'd be great having you on the team again..."

"Not SVU," Alex clarified. "Conflict of interest, remember?"

Elliot did remember, but he thought it wise not to comment. It wasn't easy to forget that his gorgeous partner and his equally gorgeous ADA were in a relationship. "Wishful thinking," he said instead. "We're here." Alex gave the cab driver his fare with one hand and opening her door with the other, not even waiting for Elliot to come around to her side of the taxi.

...

"Thanks, Olivia. I really needed that." Casey squeezed the top of Olivia's hand when the detective let it rest in the middle of the table. Olivia had actually been reaching for some cream – unlike Alex, she never "took her coffee black, like her men," – but when Casey interpreted the movement as a gesture of support, she went with it.

"Are you ready to look at some more case files?" They had spread several manila folders out across the table as soon as they arrived at the restaurant, careful to keep any violent images underneath ordinary looking papers so that the waiter and the people in the next booths wouldn't catch a glimpse, but had paused to eat when their food arrived.

"I guess so. Nothing seems out of the ordinary..."

"Hey, hold on a minute... maybe we're going about this the wrong way. There wasn't any usable DNA recovered on the letters you gave me a little while ago, but maybe the text can help us narrow it down."

Casey shrugged. "It's worth a try. I haven't actually read most of them... just the first two. Once I realized what they were, I stopped opening them to preserve any potential forensic evidence."

Opening a sealed folder, Olivia pulled out several envelopes that contained what felt like stationary. They had been opened, not by her, and she felt safe taking out the contents now that the techs had finished their job. Since this wasn't an official case, it hadn't been difficult for Olivia to convince them to return the evidence.

"This one's weird..." the brunette said to herself, pulling out a note card with strange black writing on it. "I've never seen writing like this before. Is it calligraphy or something?"

"What?" Casey's head immediately snapped up.

As soon as she saw the contents of the envelope, the redhead's face drained of color. A soft, almost feeble groan came from between her lips, and she shut her eyes tight, as though she was trying to make the letter (or herself) disappear. "Why didn't I open the other letters?"

Olivia leaned across the table, clasping her hand around Casey's wrist. "Case? What's wrong?"

Casey ignored her question. "Open the other letters." When Olivia hesitated, her voice became firmer. "Open them," she insisted. Obediently, Olivia took out several more pieces of stationary. Some were scribbled in what looked like fading pencil, but others had the same swirling, inky black writing as the first.

"This is weird... the handwriting looks like samples from at least two different people, maybe more. Are you sure this is just one guy?"

"Yes... yes, I'm sure. I know wh–"

That was when Olivia noticed someone approaching the table out of the corner of her eye. At first she thought it was their waiter, but then she realized that he was coming from the direction of the front door. She had deliberately chosen a booth with a view of the entrance, but the letters had distracted her. "Casey, don't turn around, but there's someone walking towards us," Olivia said, trying not to move her lips as her hand automatically crept towards the grip of her police special.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty-Nine:**

"Come in," McCoy called out in response to the brisk knock on his door. He already knew who was outside his office. Any unexpected visitors would have been stopped and questioned by his secretary, so it could only be Alex Cabot. The door opened, revealing a familiar pale face and an attractive pair of black, square glasses. He smiled, a rare occurrence for the serious-minded attorney. "Good to see you, Alex. Is Detective Benson with you?"

"No, but I brought her partner along," Alex said, stepping into the office so that Elliot Stabler could pass through the door. "Olivia is... being Olivia." Not offering any clarification on that point, Alex sat down in one of the two seats across from McCoy's desk. It was still a little strange seeing him in the DA's chair. She was used to seeing Nora or Arthur in this office, but she had to admit that Jack, with his gray hair and distinguished profile, seemed to fit the part of DA well enough.

Elliot took the seat beside her, feet set apart and hands on his knees. "So, what's going on? Alex says someone has been calling the DA's office about Casey?"

"Yes," Jack said. "A man called and asked Anne, my secretary, whether she had reapplied for her old job a few days ago."

The former marine frowned. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him that the position was already filled, and even if Casey had reapplied to work with the DA's office, we couldn't give out that information."

"Just out of curiosity, did Casey reapply?"

"We spoke briefly a few weeks ago," Jack admitted. "She wanted to get a feel for the climate of the DA's office... I think she wants to return to her old life as a prosecutor. I haven't heard from her since, but I let her know that I would be open to hiring her if she chose to reapply. She deserved her censure, but it doesn't make her law degree invalid."

"Olivia told me that Casey had been disbarred," she said cautiously.

"Oh, that old rumor?" Jack rolled his eyes. "That was just Greylek causing trouble, as usual." Alex had never had the displeasure of interacting with Greylek, but from the stories Olivia had told, she hoped that the opportunity never presented itself.

Even though she was worried about Casey, Alex couldn't help inquiring further for her own benefit. "Well, Casey might come back from censure, but I've come back from the dead. Do you think I could return from my leave of absence?"

"I think we can do a little better than that, Alexandra. We're in the process of shuffling some of our ADA's around..."

"I can't work for Special Victims anymore," Alex clarified. "Detective Benson and I–"

Even Elliot was surprised when Jack rolled his eyes. "Everyone already knows about you and Detective Benson, or have you forgotten the kerfuffle the two of you caused before you left for the Congo?"

"Oh. You mentioned that this morning on the phone, didn't you?" Alex blushed, and Elliot was surprised at the uncharacteristic crack in her professional mask.

"Alex, about Casey?"

The former ADA immediately felt guilty for sidetracking the conversation. "Oh! What can you tell me about the person that called? I'm guessing he wasn't stupid enough to leave his name."

"Actually, he did."

Elliot raised his eyebrows in surprise. I'm not sure if he was telling the truth, of course, but he said his name was–"

...

"Charlie."

The name sounded familiar to Olivia, but she couldn't quite place it as she gripped the handle of her gun. "My ex-boyfriend. I – I thought he was dead. I even saw the body. What was left of it, anyway... He had my business card."

Immediately, everything came flooding back. Casey had spoken to Olivia about Charlie before, back on a long-ago case that involved a mentally ill perp. The suspect had raped and killed an eleven-year-old girl after experiencing a psychotic break. When he was put on medication and realized what he had done, the man practically begged for the death penalty so that he wouldn't hurt anyone else. Olivia had treated him with disdain at first, but Casey was surprisingly sympathetic. When Olivia had asked her why, she mentioned her ex-boyfriend, Charlie, who had suffered from severe schizophrenia.

Charlie, who was apparently standing right in front of them.

When Olivia tried to draw her weapon, Casey immediately asked her not to with a pleading look. The detective fought her instincts and held her breath.

"Charlie, what are you doing here?" Casey asked, trying to keep her tone of voice low and soft instead of terrified.

"I came to see you."

Olivia's brain was still charging forward at light speed. Hadn't Casey used her power as an ADA to get abuse charges against Charlie dropped...? She couldn't remember. She supposed it didn't matter now.

"I saw you come back. You left me. Why did you leave me, Casey?"

The longer they talked, the more Olivia realized that drawing her gun would have been a huge mistake. From what she could see, Charlie didn't appear to have a weapon on him, and he seemed mostly coherent. Maybe they could reason with him.

As a detective for SVU, Olivia had dealt with several mentally ill people in the past, so this wasn't completely outside her realm of experience. Instead of approaching them like a perp, she had to approach them like a victim. Calm, non-threatening. Right now, she had only one goal – get Charlie away from Casey. If his attachment to her had spurred him to write threatening letters and vandalize Casey's apartment, she might unintentionally set him off again.

"Charlie? My name is Olivia Benson. I'm Casey's friend."

That seemed to satisfy Charlie. Olivia took a moment to take in a few identifying details. He had shaved recently, and he looked as though he had been taking care of his personal hygiene, so he wasn't living on the streets. There was a chance that he was at least partially functional, but if he had caused the destruction in Casey's apartment, he was also dangerous.

"This isn't a good place to talk to Casey right now," she said, keeping her voice low and soothing. Elliot called it her 'kid voice'. "There are too many people."

Charlie fidgeted uncomfortable, and Olivia realized that she had hit a nerve. He did not really want to be in such a crowded place. "Would you like to go somewhere quieter? You can be alone with Casey. She wants to talk to you."

Casey immediately sensed what Olivia was doing, and she gripped Olivia's knee tightly underneath the table, trying to convey her disapproval and fear. The touch wasn't necessary. The color draining from her face said more than enough.

"She didn't want to talk to me before. She ignored my letters." For the first time, the man showed a hint of his hidden aggression. The flash in his eyes warned Olivia before he pounded both fists on the table. "You ignored me, Casey. Why?" His loud voice startled several people at the tables beside them, and Olivia immediately tried to diffuse the situation.

"Casey is sorry, Charlie," she said, trying to calm him down. "She didn't get the letters. Somebody took them."

"They want to take her away from me. The men want to take her away from me. Everyone tries. First the police, then the doctors..."

Olivia made a mental note not to mention that she was a police officer again, even though she had already let that fact slip once. Obviously, Charlie's past encounters with the police had not turned out well. "No one wants to take Casey away from you. Why don't I take you to a place where you can talk? Somewhere without people," she said, wanting to get Charlie out of the diner as quickly and quietly as possible. Casey's grip tightened on her knee again, but Olivia ignored it, standing up and keeping her back away from Charlie. She didn't try to touch him, but stepped slightly into his personal space, trying to establish some familiarity. "Do you want me to show you?"

Charlie nodded. "Casey needs to come with us."

"Casey has to pay for the food. See?" She gestured at the empty plates. Fortunately, the waiter hadn't returned with their bill yet. Confronted with a practical reason why Casey couldn't leave immediately, Charlie calmed down. Olivia took that as a good sign. If she could reason with him now, there was a much higher chance that they could all get out of this safely.

"Show me. Let's go."


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty:

Immediately after Olivia and Charlie walked out of the diner, Casey flipped open her cell phone and started to dial 911. She didn't know what Olivia had planned, but she wasn't about to let the stupid, foolhardy detective walk off with her mentally ill ex-fiancé. She was surprised when her phone lit up with Elliot's name before she could place the call. Even after all these years, Stabler was still in her list of contacts. He even had his own ringtone (although he shared it with Olivia).

For once, the ex-ADA didn't answer his call with a crisp 'Novak'. "Elliot, she's done it again..." she started to say, but the former Marine interrupted her.

"Casey, Alex and I have a lead on your stalker. We think it's–"

"Charlie, I know," Casey said sourly. "You're about a quarter of an hour too late!" Dumping the contents of her wallet onto the table without bothering to wait for the bill, Casey slung her purse over her shoulder and ran out of the diner as fast as possible, cell phone tucked between her shoulder and cheek as she looked frantically around for Olivia, hoping to catch a glimpse of her retreating form. She didn't see anything. "Olivia just left with him when he approached us in the diner. I have no idea where she went or what idiotic plan she's come up with this time."

Obviously, Alex heard Casey's response, because the redhead was forced to pull the phone away from her ear. She winced in pain. She had no idea Alex could shout that loud. "She did what? That stubborn, mulish, impetuous, temerarious..."

"Elliot, where would she go?" Casey said urgently into the phone, ignoring Alex's string of adjectives, which were growing more colorful by the second. She couldn't help raising her eyebrows when her fellow attorney added 'fuckwit' to the list. "Should I call 911?"

"Did she have her gun with her?"

"Yes."

"Was Charlie armed?"

"Not that I could see." Casey knew better than to assume anyone was unarmed unless they had been searched. She had seen the ugly results when less-experienced cops made that mistake in the past. "But he has a serious history of mental illness." Dodging people on the street, she took a gamble and headed right, figuring that heading one way was better than just standing still. She realized that her instincts had taken her in the direction of Police Plaza.

"Go to the one-six," Elliot said, his thoughts obviously mirroring Casey's subconscious instincts. "She'll take him there."

"Why?"

"Did you say you were in a diner? She probably left to get him away from you and the other civilians. If she keeps him calm, he won't attack random people on the street, but if he snaps, the best place for that to happen would be in a building full of trained police officers. Olivia knows that."

Casey groaned. "But Olivia doesn't know that Charlie hates the police..." she said, quickening her pace despite the heels she had chosen. "Once he realizes where he is, he might get violent. The police... haven't been very kind to him in the past..." She couldn't help panting as she broke into a jog, leaving several passersby staring at her as she ducked and weaved through the crowd on the sidewalk.

"What?" Alex screeched. Normally, the blonde had a very pleasing alto voice, but right now, she sounded like an enraged harpy. "Hey, Rubirosa! Connie, thank God, give me your keys..." The conversation grew too faint for Casey to make out through the speaker of her cell phone. Connie? Who the hell was Connie? She decided it didn't matter.

"Alex, don't take her purs- ... oh, never mind..." Elliot said. "Casey, we're on our way." He hung up without another word.

Casey thought, not for the first time, that everyone associated with the NYPD and the DA's office of New York County was officially crazy. Still clutching her cell phone in her hand, she broke into an all-out run.

...

Connie Rubirosa sighed. Her day was not going smoothly at all. Judge Donnelly had granted the defense's motion to withhold evidence during her upcoming trial, her stockings had a run in them, and her car had just been hijacked by two (possibly insane) coworkers. She was regretting her decision to skip breakfast. It didn't look like lunch was in the near future for her, either.

"Alex, what's going on?" She and the blonde were on first-name terms, but barely. They had only known each other for a few months, and the last she heard, Cabot had been prosecuting a case in the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

"Olivia Benson is in trouble. Sorry about jacking your car."

Olivia Benson. The brown-eyed detective was a bit of a legend around the DA's office. So was Alex Cabot, for that matter. According to the gossip circuit (which included Jack McCoy, Michael Cutter, and even Judge Petrovsky), Benson, Cabot, Abbie Carmichael, and Serena Southerlyn had formed a little 'clique' of sorts, and the four of them got into their fair share of scrapes. The most recent had occurred several months ago, but since the tale was better than a soap opera, it was still making the rounds in the DA's office. Something to do with Cabot and Benson shooting a perp and then kissing heatedly in the blood-drenched crime scene, unable to prevent themselves from confessing their undying love. Secretly, Connie thought it was romantic, although a little bit disturbing.

"Jesus, Alex, that's a red light!" Elliot Stabler hollered, clutching Connie's shoulder to keep her from tumbling forward, for which she was grateful. The ADA hadn't gotten a chance to fasten her seatbelt. She took the opportunity to correct her mistake.

"Do you want to explain this to me?" she asked Elliot. Alex was obviously concentrating on driving, even if she was breaking several traffic laws.

"Sorry about her," Elliot said. "She's a bit of a basket case when it comes to Olivia..."

Alex seemed to prove his statement by honking her horn violently at the car in front of them, even though the poor man in his Sedan was unable to move because of the other cars in line before him.

Connie sighed heavily, the puff of hair lifting her bangs. "Oh well. If she wrecks my car or gets a ticket for speeding or reckless driving, she's paying for it. And if I'm late for court with Patel this afternoon, she gets to explain it."

"Come on, move it!" Alex hollered at a particularly unfortunate driver. "Your mother should have sued the damn condom factory!"

"I guess you deserve the lowdown," Elliot continued. He took a deep breath and started to explain. "Former ADA Casey Novak is being stalked by her ex-fiancé, Charlie. He confronted her while she was getting brunch at a diner with Olivia, and she smooth talked him out of the place and onto the street. We think she's heading to Police Plaza, but what Olivia doesn't know is that Charlie hates the police and might get violent once he realizes where Olivia is taking him."

Alex apparently wasn't satisfied when a Nisan took too long to accelerate when the light changed. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! I know we're descended from apes, but obviously Darwin was wrong and you haven't evolved enough to operate a car!"

Connie groaned. She clutched Elliot Stabler's thick forearm when Alex took a turn too sharply for her liking. "Please don't wreck my car, please don't wreck my car, please don't wreck my car..."


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty-One:**

"Where are we going?"

Olivia made sure to keep Charlie close by her side as she led him around a busy Manhattan corner. They were getting closer and closer to One Hogan Place, and the last thing she wanted to do was spook him. "We're going somewhere safe. Somewhere Casey can meet you."

"When will she meet me?"

"Soon." At first, Olivia thought that silence was the best way to handle the walk to Police Plaza, but eventually, her curiosity got the better of her, and she started talking. "Casey thought that you were dead, Charlie. She said that she saw your body. That's why she was so afraid of you. You can understand, right?"

"She should have known I would never leave her. It was a mistake."

The part of Olivia that was Casey's friend wanted to bring up the time that Charlie had hit her and the fact that he had stopped taking his meds, but the detective part of her knew that agitating a schizophrenic was a very stupid idea. Alex would probably think she was crazy for walking him to the Station as it was...

 _'Alex. Oh shit, she's going to kill me.'_

"I understand," Olivia said, attempting to form some kind of bond with Charlie so that he would be less likely to turn against her if things went downhill. "I'm with someone, too... I want to propose eventually, but we haven't been seeing each other long enough yet."

Charlie frowned, his eyes clouding, but he didn't seem upset at Olivia. Instead, the emotions on his face seemed nostalgic. "Casey was so happy when I proposed to her. Things were good. I was seeing a new doctor. But he tried to put me on another pill. I didn't want any more pills... God, too many pills, they made everything so foggy..." Charlie's focus returned immediately, and he suddenly pulled away from Olivia, glaring daggers at her and holding out his arms in a defensive pose. "What have you been telling Casey about me? Did you tell her to stay away from me? I think you stole the letters..."

Unlike so many of her unfortunate brothers and sisters in blue, Olivia had proper training on how to deal with mentally ill people who weren't taking their medication. She also knew that one of schizophrenia's symptoms happened to be extreme paranoia. She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, ignoring the stares from the people passing by. A few just kept right on walking – they had seen and heard everything during their time in Manhattan. "I didn't steal any letters, Charlie. I told you, Casey thought you were dead, so she didn't want to open them. She didn't know they were really from you."

Charlie stared deep into her eyes, and Olivia felt her stomach tie itself into a slippery knot. "Everyone wants to keep her away from me. I don't want to hurt her."

"I know... Casey knows too."

"She tried to help me, even when they told me to hit her. They told me to hit her because I had to stop... to..." He lost his train of thought, then continued walking forward at such a brisk pace that Olivia had to jog in order to keep up.

"To stop what, Charlie?"

"To stop her from calling the doctors. They were going to pump drugs in me and take out my organs. She didn't know. But they told me." Olivia knew better than to ask who 'they' was. She wasn't even sure if Charlie knew. "Then the police came."

Unfortunately, that was when the buildings that made up the heart of the NYPD came in to view. At first, the tall man just stopped and stared, looking around with slightly unfocused eyes. Then, he started screaming, lashing out with his feet and throwing his arms out to both sides. Olivia ducked, barely missing a swing, but he didn't seem to be attacking her. In fact, he hardly seemed to notice that she was there at all.

Before Olivia had time to reach for her gun, Charlie threw his full weight against a black metal trashcan, taking out his rage on the inanimate object, kicking and punching as though he was fighting for his life. Half of the people on the street stopped and stared with a mix of horror and fascination. The other, perhaps wiser half, looked for cover or escaped around the nearest corner. Some pulled out their phones to call the police, but even they paused as Olivia, using slow, deliberate motions, approached the frantic man.

"Charlie." No response. "Charlie!"

When he still refused to answer her or show any signs of stopping, Olivia made a decision. She couldn't let a violent man have some sort of fit in the middle of a crowded street. The detective lunged forward, using her considerable strength to try and lock the joints in her opponent's shoulders.

Charlie flinched and reeled backwards, struggling against the hold and sending both of them off-balance. Olivia went with the fall, knowing that submission holds were most effective on the ground. As soon as Charlie hit the pavement, she grabbed his right wrist with both hands, twisting it past the joint's range of motion and preventing him from moving. His feet continued to kick, and Olivia knew she would be sporting several bruises on her legs from where his knees connected with her shins.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Charlie. Everything's going to be all right," Olivia said, trying to slow her racing heart and catch her breath. "I'm going to start letting go of your arm, okay?" When Charlie's body remained limp in her hold, Olivia gradually released pressure on the joint.

"Olivia? Charlie! The police are coming!"

Olivia mentally groaned when she heard Casey's familiar voice. A distraction was the last thing she needed. Charlie started squirming again, desperation lending him the strength to free his arm and reach into his pants. Before she knew what was happening, Olivia felt a white-hot pain above her knee. She looked down, tears clouding her eyes, and saw the handle of a knife sticking out of her thigh. Shit... how had she missed that?

Taking advantage of Olivia's reaction to the pain, Charlie wriggled out of the detective's hold. Before she could recover, he scrambled to his feet and started towards Casey. Olivia tried to follow, but the knife still stuck in her thigh made it impossible to stand. Blood soaked through her pants and pooled on the sidewalk beneath her. Blinking rapidly to clear her eyes of tears, Olivia started fumbling at her belt, trying to pull out her service weapon.

"Charlie! Stop!"

Casey's voice did the trick, and Charlie stopped just a yard away from her. Seeing the redhead's pale hand pointing behind him, he turned and stared into the barrel of Olivia's gun.


	32. Chapter 32

"Alex! Pull over!" Elliot's sudden shout and the large, strong hand that clasped Alex's upper arm caught her attention immediately, and the ADA swerved towards the curb, trusting her lover's partner implicitly.

"Where?"

"Here!"

The attorney didn't even care that she was double-parked and blocking a lane of traffic. She slammed her foot on the brakes and looked at Elliot for further instructions, but the former marine was already hopping out of the passenger's side door and running towards the sidewalk.

That was when Alex saw her. Olivia, sprawled on the pavement of the sidewalk, surrounded by a crowd of people. Her gun was aimed at a large, intimidating man, who was standing in front of a terrified looking redhead that Alex recognized immediately. Her stomach sank. Elliot rushed to kneel beside Olivia, but the stalwart detective didn't spare him a glance. She kept her gun pointed squarely at the large man, whom Alex assumed was Casey's mentally ill ex-fiancé, Charlie.

"Oh my God, what's going on?" Connie said from the backseat. Alex jumped. She had almost forgotten that the other ADA was still in the car. "Is that blood?"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph..." Alex had been so consumed by the scene that she hadn't noticed the crimson pool spreading around Olivia's legs. The blonde's first instinct was to leave the keys in the ignition and follow Elliot out of the car, but she knew from personal experience not to walk into a situation that might involve gunfire. Even Elliot was keeping a careful distance, although he too had drawn his weapon. Alex rolled down the window in order to hear what was going on.

"Charlie, I need you to put your hands behind your head," Elliot was saying, walking sideways in order to stand as close behind Olivia as he could get without startling their target. "Can you do that for me?"

"You're one of them. I knew they'd come after me, they said... they said..."

"Charlie, you need to listen to the police officers," Casey pleaded, the words tumbling out of her in a rush. She was obviously terrified, but she was trying her best to keep it together. "No one wants to hurt you, I promise."

"I'm so sorry, Casey – so sorry..." Without a glance back, Charlie hurled himself into the street and began running. Fortunately, traffic was already mostly stopped, with several motorists parked in the middle of the road in order to see what was going on. As soon as Charlie bolted, Elliot bent down next to Olivia and began trying to staunch the flow of blood. That was enough for Alex. Not caring that the passenger door was slightly ajar, the lawyer did the first thing that came to mind. She started weaving through the spotty traffic after the runaway perp.

Ignoring the loud, terrified gasps and squeaks coming from the back seat, she pressed down on the gas and narrowed her eyes as the car lurched forward. Fortunately, since she had been blocking a lane, there were almost no cars on the stretch of road in front of her – a minor miracle on any Manhattan street. Alex blared her horn constantly, warning any drivers ahead that she wasn't planning on slowing down, and several cars nearby slammed on their breaks in order to avoid hitting her. Several honks and angry swears followed.

"Oh God, Oh God, Oh God..." At first, Alex thought Connie was the one muttering, but then she realized that the words were coming from her. Alex might have been able to go faster in a car, but Charlie had much more maneuverability on foot, and she was swiftly losing ground as he veered out of the street and began racing along the sidewalk towards the end of the block. If he turned the corner, Alex knew she would lose him at the light.

"Hold on!" With that brief warning, Alex looked for an opening between parking meters and followed her quarry onto the sidewalk, car and all. Luckily for her, the pedestrians had already noticed Charlie fleeing from the insanely weaving car, and most were backed as close to the buildings as possible.

Half on the sidewalk and half on the road, Alex felt the side of Connie's car scrape against another parking meter as she drew closer and closer to the man who had stabbed her lover.

_Just a little further... Too much!_

Alex's eyes widened with horror as she realized that she was approaching Charlie far too fast. Frantically, the attorney threw all one hundred and thirty-five pounds of her weight against the brake pedal and flung her hands in front of her face, trying to shield herself. With a sickening thud, she felt the car come to a stop and the airbags explode.

Her last words before she passed out were, "don't worry, Connie – I'll buy you a new car..."

...

When Alex opened her eyes, she was staring up into a bright fluorescent light. The silhouette of someone's head and a curtain of long hair was peering over her. Alex squinted, but it took her eyes a minute to focus. "Liv... Where's Liv?"

"Calm down, sugar," came a familiar southern drawl. "Your detective is right here next to ya." Alex's vision started to clear and Abbie's face came in to view. The blonde tried to turn her head to the right, but it tightened the skin around her face and neck to the point of pain.

"How bad was the crash?"

"It could have been worse," came another voice that Alex recognized. "You're pretty lucky."

The skin covering the lower half of Alex's chin stung even though the sheets were below her arms. "I don't feel so lucky, Ser. What's wrong with my neck and chin?"

"No fractures or breaks, but you've got some nasty bruises and a lovely chemical burn."

Ah, so that was why it felt like someone had taken a cheese grater to her skin and dumped hot chili pepper into the open wound. Olivia would be upset when she found out... "Wait, Liv! Where is she? I want to see Liv."

Knowing that Alex was bound and determined to see for herself that her lover was all right, Abbie stepped in. "Here, let me help ya, darlin'." Using one arm, she carefully helped Alex turn partially onto her left side. The ADA let out a sigh of relief as she took in the sight of her lover, who was peacefully sleeping in a second bed just a few yards away. She didn't have any visible injuries on her face, but a blanket covered the rest of her body. "They don't usually have double rooms like this, but Serena, Casey, Elliot, Cragen and I set things straight. The nurses didn't expect a whole bunch of cops and lawyers to gang up on them."

"Really? Everyone's here?"

"That's just the tip of the iceberg. There's a whole crowd out there waiting to see you. Oh, and we picked up Calvin from the apartment... didn't your mama ever tell y'all not to leave a minor unattended at home?"

Alex's entire body locked up as she remembered Calvin. She felt her heart sink like a stone into the pit of her stomach as she realized for the first time that she had left the poor kid by himself with no explanation. "Oh my God, is he all right? I can't believe I left him... I'm so stupid... Olivia would never do something like that. Why am I so terrible with kids?"

"Calm down. You're not stupid or terrible with kids. Calvin's in the waiting room with the others," Serena hastened to reassure her. "We went and picked him up while Elliot rode with you two to the hospital."

"I can't believe I–"

Abbie interrupted before Alex could go on a self-deprecating rant. "Cabot, he's fine, so let it go. The kid hadn't even woken up until we got there. He's sharp, didn't wanna let us in while you weren't home, but when Elliot called on the phone and explained the situation, he asked to come see y'all."

"The blood – I saw blood on the sidewalk... Casey? Charlie... I didn't – Connie!" Now that her foggy brain was starting to clear, Alex suddenly remembered all of the people that had been in danger. She had put some of them in harm's way herself, and that only amplified her guilt.

Serena managed to interpret Alex's fragmented thought process from years of experience. "Charlie's knife sliced an artery in Olivia's right leg, and she lost quite a bit of blood, but other than that, she's fine. Casey is shaken up, but she has no physical injuries, thanks in part to you. Connie had her seatbelt on and there was no airbag in the back, so she's all right, even if the front end of her car is totaled. Charlie's in surgery now, but he's not in critical condition."

"I didn't kill him? He's alive? I didn't want to–"

"Argh," came a groan from the other side of the room. "Talking. Too loud."

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Benson. How's the leg?"

"Hurts like a bitch. Why? Alex, how are you?" Olivia shifted to sit up in bed, giving Alex a better view.

Seeing Olivia up and alert brought a stop to Alex's minor panic attack. She started to laugh with relief, ignoring the way her throat lit up with pain. "Compared to being shot, this is a piece of cake. I don't even think they gave me the good drugs..."

"They did, but they're wearin' off now," Abbie said.

Alex was surprised that Olivia wasn't more upset by their injuries. In fact, she seemed pretty relaxed. Usually, hospitals made her antsy. "Did you wake up before me?" Alex asked. "You're awfully calm about all this. You hate hospitals."

"I never passed out. You're the one who caused a car accident, I only got stabbed by a crazy person," Olivia pointed out. "Once the doctors checked us out and you assured me that you felt okay, you went to sleep and I joined you."

"I don't remember coming to the hospital."

Abbie laughed. "Really? When the doctor asked for your name, you started reciting the Bill of Rights to prove your brain wasn't scrambled."

Alex had no idea if Abbie was joking and decided not to ask. "Well, the last thing I can recall is the crash. How long have I been out?"

"About four hours," said Olivia. "Not too long."

"Four hours?" Alex said incredulously, eyebrows rising on her forehead.

"Yeah. And speakin' a'which, there are a lot of visitors who haven't had the chance to peek in since ya woke up, Sleeping Beauty. Feel like some more comp'ny?"

Alex paused, evaluating the pain in her head and neck, and decided that the pain was tolerable. "All right, Tex. Corral them in here."


	33. Chapter 33

A few minutes later, Olivia and Alex were surrounded by their friends and surrogate family. Under Munch's watchful eye, Elliot and Fin pushed Alex's bed close to Olivia's so that the two women could hold hands across the narrow gap. Alex noticed the worried crease in Olivia's forehead when the detective saw the vivid bruise on her inner wrist where a drug cocktail and saline drip had been taped down, but decided not to draw attention to the fact that her normally tough lover was fretting.

"So, everyone's accounted for?" Alex asked as she looked over the group crowded around her. "Actually, why are so many people in the room at once? I thought hospitals frowned on that sort of thing."

"You've got four lawyers in this little group," Serena pointed out, nodding her head in Casey, Abbie, and Connie's direction. "We can be very persuasive."

"I'll bet," the ex-ADA mumbled. "Connie, I'm really sorry about your car. I don't know what possessed me to try for a career with NASCAR."

"Are you making fun of me?" Abbie quipped. "Besides, if that was your best attempt at racecar drivin', you suck at it, Cabot. All ya need to do is turn left."

"It's all right." Connie brushed aside Alex's apology. "The car isn't important as your life." Grateful that Connie Rubirosa was taking the afternoon's events in stride, Alex gave her an awkward smile.

"Thanks. I promise to pay for the damages, and if the car's not drivable, I'll buy you a new one."

"You oughta take her up on that," Fin advised Connie. "Have you seen Alex's ride? It's a Lambo. Pretty sweet."

Olivia remained silent, staring at Abbie and Serena, who were holding hands as they stood at the foot of the two beds. She looked at their threaded fingers and then back up at their faces, giving Abbie a wink. The Texan grinned and winked back. Things between her and Serena were the best they had ever been, and even though it was a little scary, she wouldn't go back.

While the others made an appropriate fuss over the two bedridden patients, Elliot quietly noticed where his partner was looking. He too studied Abbie and Serena's joined hands, and then glanced at Olivia briefly for confirmation. The detective gave him a subtle nod. She and Elliot had always been able to communicate silently.

"Do you mind if I go and grab Calvin?" Munch asked, interrupting the moment. "He's with the Cap in the waiting room and he's anxious to see you. We wanted to make sure neither of you looked too gruesome for young eyes."

"It's too late for him, Munch. He's already seen you," Olivia shot back.

"Ha ha, very funny. I'll go bring Dad and your kid to come and see you. Don't have any fun without me," the thin, bony detective said as he left the room.

"My kid, I like that," Olivia mused, glancing sideways at Alex.

The blonde squeezed her hand and smiled back. "Calvin worships the ground you walk on."

"He's not the only one." Casey hesitantly stepped forward, walking out from behind Abbie and Serena to stand at Olivia's bedside. So far, the redhead had been understandably silent, but now she couldn't help speaking up. "Thank you, Olivia, for protecting me today. You saved my life."

"I don't think Charlie would have hurt you," Olivia said, trying to dodge the compliment, but Casey wouldn't allow it.

"He wasn't on his medication. You and I both know that he was in a very dangerous place, and it was brave of you to protect me by leading him away. Brave, but stupid." To everyone's surprise, Casey aimed a light smack at the back of Olivia's head.

"Hey, ow!"

"Don't do it again."

Alex burst out laughing. "Novak, I like you a lot more this time around." Her expression suddenly turned sober. "I'm sorry about Charlie. I have no idea what was going through my head, but I didn't intend to ram into him with the car. I just wanted to make sure he didn't get away..."

"Thanks," Casey said. "I don't blame you. Besides, now he's in a hospital where there are people who can help him. I've already talked to his doctors, since I'm still listed as next of kin. They think he'll be all right."

"Maybe he can get proper treatment this time. I can recommend a good psychiatrist... Oh, shit. I forgot–"

"Your Xanax? I have it," Abbie said. She reached into her purse and tossed a plastic bottle to Alex with a loud rattle.

The attorney sighed gratefully and popped the top, dry-swallowing two pills. "Thanks, Abbie, although this only proves that we spend way too much time around each other."

"You shouldn't be taking those until you ask the doctor," Olivia chastised. "It might not mix well with whatever drugs they've got you on."

As always, Alex tried to argue. "The prescription is listed on my medical chart. They wouldn't have given me something that reacted badly with it."

Elliot shrugged. "I'm with Alex. If anyone deserves anti-anxiety meds, it's you, Cabot." Alex snorted, but didn't have time to respond before the door opened and a quiet and subdued looking Calvin crept into the hospital room. He looked as if he expected his guardians to be hooked up to a bunch of beeping machines, and he seemed relieved when they appeared relatively alert. "Olivia! Alex!" The boy ran over to both of them, wiggling into the space between their beds and giving both of them a big hug. "You're okay! What happened to your neck?"

Alex was relieved to see that Calvin was none the worse for his short time alone. It would have been terrible for him to wake up and realize that he had been abandoned yet again. "My neck is fine," the attorney said. "Have you ever wondered how an airbag pops out so fast?"

Calvin shrugged. "How?"

"It's a chemical reaction. However, the same chemicals that make the airbag inflate can also burn your skin."

"Like an explosion?"

"Exactly."

"Cool. You're good at explaining stuff, Alex." Calvin smiled and turned to Olivia. "She explained sex to me this morning," he calmly informed her.

Olivia raised one eyebrow. "Did she now?" Elliot, who had five kids of his own, could barely contain his laughter.

"And how was that conversation, Cabot?" Alex groaned and chose not to answer the question.

...

"Ms. Cabot, do you honestly expect me to just throw out these charges?"

Alex shifted uncomfortably beside her lawyer, a friend from Harvard Law who had traveled all the way from Albany to help make her case before whichever judge happened to be on fate's bad side. Nobody wanted to see Alex Cabot go down for reckless driving and endangerment, especially with chemical burns still fresh on her cheek and neck. However, it seemed that Alex was the one who had some karmic debt to pay off, because The Honorable Lena Petrovsky was presiding over her Motion to Dismiss.

The ADA's lawyer opened his mouth to speak, but Lena shushed him with a glance. "I want to hear Ms. Cabot answer for herself. Alex, what on earth were you thinking?"

"I wasn't," Alex said bluntly.

"Why doesn't that surprise me? It seems to be a recurring theme, doesn't it?" Petrovsky muttered, rolling her eyes. "For such a bright and well-educated woman, you seem to get yourself into an awful lot of stupid and dangerous situations."

Alex thought there was a compliment in there somewhere, but her head hurt too much to make sense of it. In addition to the burns, she was still recovering from whiplash, and needed to see a chiropractor sooner rather than later. A few yards away, the prosecutor (a smug young pup just out of law school that probably needed his tie loosened and a foot to the behind), began to protest. "Your Honor..."

"Bradley! I'm not addressing you. The Defense has requested a motion to dismiss the charges against Ms. Cabot, and I want to hear their excuses before I kick them to the curb. Go on, Alexandra. Give me one good reason not to toss you in jail again."

The way Petrovsky stressed 'again' stuck in Alex's craw, and she narrowed her eyes determinedly. "I wrote a nice fat check to the city to make up for the damage to the parking meters and the sidewalk."

"And I'm sure New York County's Taxpayers appreciate it," Petrovsky drawled.

"I paid all of Charlie's medical bills and even put him in a psychiatric hospital..."

"To assuage your own conscience."

Alex didn't deny it. She wasn't particularly fond of Charlie (after all, he had stabbed her lover and terrified Casey Novak), but she did feel bad for ramming into him with Connie's car, even though a blue mailbox had taken most of the damage.

"I bought Connie a new car."

"You can afford it."

"I could have just paid a mechanic to repair her old one." Petrovsky gave her a bored look. "I also wrote a letter to her insurance company... And I'm paying her premiums for the next year as a personal favor, not to mention the fact that my own premiums have quadrupled."

"Money doesn't impress me, Cabot. Try again."

Alex stuck out her lower lip in a pout. She was starting to get frustrated. "I already got my license suspended! I went to remedial driving classes... do you realize who takes remedial driving classes?"

Petrovsky stared Alex down from over the rims of her glasses, and Alex glared back through her own square, black frames. "I would assume negligent ADAs."

"Creeps! That's who! I had to sit next to a 'gentleman', and I use the term in its loosest sense, from Brooklyn who told me he'd love to, and I quote, 'let me ride his stick shift' in the back of his 1996 Honda. And I won't even start on the pimple-faced teenager that kept staring down my shirt! Who did he think I was, Mrs. Robinson? But the worst was the twenty-something bimbo constantly smacking her gum and texting on her cell phone. God, was I that annoying back in college? If I was, I wish I were dead..."

For the first time, a flash of sympathy showed in Petrovsky's steely gaze. "In my opinion, Ms. Cabot has paid her debt to society, and it isn't necessary to file criminal charges. I'm granting the Defense's motion to dismiss. Oh, and please tell Detective Benson that I'm glad she's out of the wheelchair. I know it was bothering her."

Alex tried not to faint from shock.

"But Your Honor..." Bradley opened his mouth to protest, but a warning look from Petrovsky and a satisfied smirk from Alex made him tuck his tail back between his legs. His Bureau Chief had been right, he thought as he sullenly packed up his briefcase. No one at the DA's office wanted to convict Alexandra Cabot.


	34. Chapter 34

"Alex, stop that," Olivia protested, grabbing her reluctant girlfriend by the shoulders and gently shoving her back onto her own side of the bed. The ADA had started by simply nuzzling Olivia's neck, but nuzzling turned into kissing and sucking, and a few hickies later the detective kept having to remove Alex's hand from inside her pajama pants.

"But I want to celebrate!" the attorney pleaded, hooking one leg over Olivia's waist and pulling their pelvises together.

While she was eager to share body heat, Olivia remained insistent. "I knew Petrovsky would dismiss the charges. Why was she listening to them anyway? She's several steps up from traffic court."

"I think she asked McCoy to assign her to my case just to screw with my head." Deciding to try her luck again, Alex reached around to grope a handful of Olivia's ass beneath her sleep pants, but the detective wasn't having any of it.

"Well, your head is the only part of you that's getting screwed. Your doctor and your chiropractor said no funny business. They don't want you to hurt your neck."

Alex reluctantly moved her hand to the slightly more neutral expanse of Olivia's back. "But your physical therapist said that it was all right..."

"For me, not for you, Miss Whiplash."

"Exactly. So why don't you just shut up and let me do you?"

The detective kissed Alex's forehead to soften the blow before rolling onto her other side and scooting away from the ADA's questing hands. "Name a sex position that won't put strain on your neck," she said.

Alex saw the exercise as a teasing challenge instead of a rebuff. "You kneeling over me?" she said in a husky whisper, pressing her breasts into Olivia's shoulderblades from behind.

"You'll hurt yourself trying to reach up and follow me."

"You on your back, with me on my stomach between your legs?" Alex murmured, placing a string of kisses down Olivia's neck over the hickies that she had left behind the first time.

"My hips will buck too much."

"Missionary, me on top."

"You'll bend your head down to kiss me." The attorney let out an exasperated sigh and nipped Olivia's shoulder in frustration. "Ow, hey! Be nice."

"Fine then, missionary with you on top."

"You'll lift your head up to kiss me."

"What if we don't kiss?"

"Yeah, right." Alex and Olivia both preferred a heavy amount of kissing when they made love, and taking kisses out of the equation entirely would be next to impossible. Unless...

"Cowgirl, you on top. You'll be too far away for me to kiss you even if I want to."

"You like to watch. You'll lift your head up anyway."

Alex slid one hand over Olivia's hip, reaching beneath the waistband of her lover's pajama pants one last time and cupping firmly between her legs. This time, Olivia allowed Alex to squeeze her fingers into place before pressing her thighs shut and trapping her there. "Doggy style?" the ADA suggested, reluctant to admit that she was running out of ideas.

"Now you're just being ridiculous."

Ignoring Olivia's less-than-enthusiastic attitude, Alex tried to move her palm as best she could despite the tight confines of Olivia's pants and her clenched leg muscles. If she got a straight out 'no' or 'stop' from the detective, Alex would have immediately reclaimed her questing fingers, but she could read her lover's body language well enough to know that Olivia would eventually cave. The fast pace of Olivia's breathing and the way her hips were subtly rocking into the heel of Alex's hand gave her away.

"How about like this?" Alex whispered against the soft place just below Olivia's ear. "We're both on our sides. No strain on my neck."

"I don't think – oooh..." Olivia's voice trailed off and she rolled partially onto her back so that she could spread her thighs. Feeling Olivia open for her touch forced Alex to squeeze her own legs together uncomfortably. The next item on her agenda definitely needed to be an orgasm of her own, but for now, she was completely focused on Olivia.

Keeping her strokes light and teasing, Alex probed at the sensitive ring of muscle around Olivia's entrance, catching the tips of her fingers inside and curling forward. She let out a satisfied sigh as warmth coated them, and she felt Olivia laugh softly into the pillow where she had buried her face.

"Is your body betraying you, Detective Benson?"

"Nah. It's working just fine," she said, shifting a little so that the pillowcase didn't cover her mouth. She began a circular grinding motion against the heel of Alex's hand, which was still cupping her tightly. The indirect stimulation wasn't quite enough, and Olivia reached between her own legs to try and reposition the ADA's fingers.

Alex clicked her tongue disapprovingly. "Ah-ah-ah, I'm getting there."

"Baby," Olivia pleaded, "you're the one that started this," but even as she said it, she knew that she was completely at the attorney's mercy. She could never say no to Alex. All that the blonde needed to do was whisper a suggestive phrase in her ear. If Olivia was being honest, hearing Alex's recite case law in her bedroom voice would probably still turn her on.

"Tell me what you need."

Olivia began chewing on her lower lip, and even though she was still facing away from Alex, she knew that the ADA could sense how tightly wound up she was. "My clit, baby..." she panted, struggling to find words. "I need your thumb on me." She gasped and shivered when Alex's thumb slid into place directly over her sensitive bundle of nerves.

"And?" Alex prompted, knowing there was more.

Although she tried her best, Olivia couldn't control the urgent rocking of her hips. "I want – I need you inside me–"

Alex slipped one, then two fingers as deep as they would go. "Do you like this?"

"Mmhmm," Olivia moaned in approval.

"Good, because I love being inside of you," she cooed against Olivia's ear, starting to pump her fingers in time with the motion of her thumb. When she curled them forward, Olivia cried out and pressed her hips back against Alex's pelvis, clearly asking for more.

Alex's smile spread as she listened to the needy sounds that Olivia was making. Touching Olivia like this, taking the lead and slowly making her come unhinged, was something she always treasured. No one else ever got to see her strong, tough detective this vulnerable, and Olivia was definitely all hers. She had to admit that it made her feel a little smug – well, maybe more than a little...

The attorney circled her thumb lazily over Olivia's hard point, enjoying the way that the detective's hips bared down on her hand, swallowing her middle and ring finger over and over again. Alex wanted to look down and watch as they disappeared inside of her lover, but she knew that it would hurt her neck, and so she had to be content with just touching. Feeling Olivia's tight walls clench and pulse around her hand was driving her crazy.

It was obviously driving Olivia crazy, too. "Lexi..." she whimpered, spreading her legs and thrusting so hard against Alex's hand that the ADA's knuckles ached, "please!"

Alex thought about teasing Olivia, considered reminding her that she had been dead-set against this just a few minutes ago, but eventually, she decided to be generous. "You're lucky I love you," she said, grazing her lips over Olivia's cheek.

"Love – you – ... Fuck... me..."

Alex smiled as she remembered Olivia's speech a few weeks ago. "Because I love you," she murmured, finally settling into the rhythmic curl-and-stroke that she knew would send Olivia over the edge. It only took a few seconds. Olivia's pelvis froze, the delicious abdomen muscles that Alex adored flexing rhythmically against the part of the attorney's arm that was draped across them.

Finally, Olivia collapsed back onto the mattress, flinching every few seconds with pleasurable aftershocks. Making sure not to dislodge Alex's fingers, she turned her head so that she could look into amused blue eyes. "What's so funny?"

Alex's grin was almost too wide for her face. "Nothing important."

"Tell me."

The ADA started to laugh. "I was just thinking – hypothetically, of course – how much easier my old job at SVU would be this time around..."

"Oh?" Olivia raised her eyebrows, blinking a few times to clear her head.

"All I would have to do to stop you from mouthing off is... that." Alex squeaked as Olivia flipped over, pinning her body against the mattress.

"I don't think that would work, sweetheart," Olivia growled, making sure that Alex's neck was comfortably situated against a pillow before giving her a brief but hard kiss. "You've always been a screamer, and I don't think Jack has the budget to sound-proof the walls."


	35. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Sorry, I can't believe I forgot to post the rest of this story on AO3! I thought I had months and months ago... Well, here's the epilogue, anyway.

"Hey, Alex," Kathy Stabler said, sitting on her couch as the ADA answered her phone call. "I don't suppose you've seen my husband around, have you? He isn't home yet."

"Hold on, Kathy, let me check... he was supposed to leave by now." There was some rustling as Alex carried her cell phone with her into the next room, peeking around a doorway. Muffled giggles followed. "Your husband is currently fast asleep with three drunk lesbians on top of him."

"I hope for his sake that they are also asleep, and that they're clothed," Kathy said, picking up on the humor in Alex's voice. She was not overly concerned.

"Yep. He, Olivia, Abbie, and Serena are all squeezed on my couch, defying the laws of physics and snoring away. I'll wake Odysseus up for you and send him home to his endlessly patient, ever-faithful Penelope."

"Who is this Penelope chick? I'll kick her ass," Kathy teased back.

"Bye, Kathy. Give the kids our love."

"Actually, they're out tonight, and Eli's asleep. That's part of the reason I want my husband to come home."

"I'll let him know he's required for husbandly duties."

Hitting the End Call button, Alex left her cell phone to charge and wandered back into the living room where her girlfriend and their pile of guests were still snoozing. Olivia, the lightest sleeper, opened her eyes as soon as Alex entered the room. "Huh – what?" she slurred, immediately realizing that she was in an awkward position. She tried to move, but thought better of it when she realized that wiggling free might disturb Serena's head and Abbie's pelvis. "Um..."

"You all fell asleep playing Twister," Alex said, approaching the couch and stroking Olivia's hair away from her forehead.

The soft conversation woke Elliot up next, who became similarly wide-eyed and uncomfortable once he realized that he had three women mostly on top of him. "Uh, how did this happen?"

Olivia grinned at him, giving the back of his calf a nudge with her conveniently placed toe. "I guess you're just a chick magnet, partner."

"Kathy called," Alex said. "I informed her that you were sleeping with three lesbians."

Elliot groaned, causing Abbie and Serena to stir. "You didn't really tell her that, did you?"

"She isn't mad, I explained the situation, but she wants her husband to come home. She implied that you might get lucky tonight."

Elliot shoved Abbie Carmichael off of his leg and tried to stand up. "Mff," Abbie mumbled, suddenly finding her face on the couch. "Don't tell anybody about this, Stabler," she warned him. "I don't sleep with men."

"Well, now you just did." Elliot stuck out his tongue, but the gesture was lost on Abbie, whose eyes remained firmly shut.

Serena did not add to the conversation. While Olivia and Elliot stood, she cuddled closer to her girlfriend, sighing softly as she buried her nose in Abbie's hair and spooned her from behind. Seeming grateful for the extra legroom, Abbie stretched out, letting Serena's arm wrap around her waist.

"Aw, they're cute. Get the camera, Alex," Olivia said.

Abbie growled low in the back of her throat, sounding like a dog that didn't want to be touched.

"I don't think so," Alex said. "Do it yourself if you're so inclined, but I know better than to irritate Abbie. She'll find a way to irritate you right back five times as much."

"Damn straight. Uh, not straight. Whatever."

"Stay there for a bit and sleep it off, Tex," Olivia said. "We'll send Elliot home."

"Bye, Elliot," Alex said. "Use protection! I don't want Olivia in any more car accidents driving your wife to the hospital."

Elliot laughed. "No thanks, Cabot. No more kids for us. Five is plenty."

Making sure that her partner was alert enough to drive, Olivia ran her fingers through sleep-tangled hair and walked him to the front door. "Want me to see you to the car?" she asked.

"What are you, my date to prom?" Elliot snorted. "I think I can handle it from here."

"I'll come anyway." Olivia's cop instincts and protectiveness towards Elliot wouldn't allow her to do anything less. Putting on a pair of Alex's boots by the door, she grabbed a coat and one of her girlfriend's scarves. When Elliot saw what she was wearing, he began to laugh. "What is it, smartass?"

"That scarf is pink."

"So?"

"It's... not you."

"What, I can't wear pink? I'm a girl, you know. I wear bras and panties..."

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Ugh, please don't remind me," he requested as they headed down the stairs. "You're hot and all, but you're my partner."

"-and thongs and everything..."

"Stop before Alex has to kill me. I got a wife and kids at home!"

"-and tampons..."

"Shut up, Liv, before I make you shut up. You might be a girl, but I'll still kick your butt like a man if you force me to."

"You mean I'll make you cry like a girl if you force me to." Giving her partner a clap on the shoulder, Olivia saw Elliot into his car and watched his taillights pull out to join the stream of nighttime traffic. It wasn't too congested, so hopefully he would be home before Kathy had to send out a search party.

Heading back upstairs, the detective was met by her smiling girlfriend waiting for her in the doorway. As Olivia stepped inside and closed the door, Alex pulled her in by the pink scarf for a soft, lingering kiss. "Hmm. Hi there, lover."

"Hi..." Olivia said dreamily, unable to stop smiling.

Alex unwound the scarf from around Olivia's neck and draped it over the coat rack while Olivia kicked off Alex's boots and unthreaded her arms from the sleeves of her coat. "Interesting ensemble you're wearing there, Detective," the former ADA purred, snagging Olivia by the beltloops of her jeans instead. "Well, all three children are out like a light..." she nodded her head in the direction of the living room where Abbie and Serena were snoozing contentedly. Clearly, they were the second two children she was referring to, since Calvin was already asleep in his room. "Want to have some grown-up time?"

Olivia's sweet smile turned into a sly grin. Pressing her body against Alex's side, she deliberately kissed the corner of the attorney's mouth, nibbling her way to the center and tugging on a plump lower lip. "Mmm. I'm sure..." Kiss "... We can..." Kiss "- Entertain ourselves..." Nip.

Pulling up the hem of her sweater, Alex tugged it over her head and tossed it against Olivia's chest. Turning around to remind Olivia just how well she filled out her jeans, the blonde lawyer swayed down the hallway leading to the bedroom in just her bra. After a few moments of dazed observation, Olivia collected herself and ran to catch up, still holding the sweater. Hopefully, she could convince Alex to shed even more of her clothing in the next minute or two.

Meanwhile, back at the Stabler household, Elliot was also greeted at the front door by a kiss from his wife. However, the kiss was followed by a mock glare. Kathy put her hands on her hips, regarding her husband with a frown. "Do you want to explain why Alex Cabot called to tell me that she caught you sleeping with three lesbians?"

"She told me that you called her, and sleeping with lesbians is no fun at all," Elliot muttered, taking off his coat so he had more mobility in his shoulders. That taken care of, he gave his wife a hug. "If tonight's anything to go by, they just get drunk and fall asleep watching TV. What you really need to worry about are bisexuals. They're more of a threat."

"Like your partner?"

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Olivia? No way. Not only would that be incestuous, but you and Alex would have to do Rock, Paper, Scissors to figure out which one of you got to castrate me."

"Good boy. I trained you well."

"Maybe you and Alex should write a book for women: How To Make Sure Your Spouse Is Whipped..." Elliot suddenly realized that the house was awfully quiet aside from his wife's soft laughter. "Where are the kids and Eli?"

"Eli is fed, changed, and asleep, and your other two nestlings are out for the night." Since Kathleen and Maureen were in college, Eli was asleep, and Lizzie and Dickie had apparently flown the coop, all five Stabler children were absent, giving Elliot and Kathy some time to themselves for a change.

Elliot winked. "I guess Cabot was right."

"What?"

"She told me to use protection."

Kathy laughed. "Oh. I suppose she doesn't know about the vasectomy Olivia and I are pooling our money to give you on your birthday."

Elliot immediately went very pale. "... Kathy?"

"Just kidding."

**The End**


End file.
